"Quit while you're ahead"
words I should've listened to,
I didn't know they applied to me
I didn't know they were about
my love
my life
my constant.

I didn't crash and burn
I had a slow,
ungraceful decent-
clambering for stranger's likes and comments-
for their approval of what should be
my deepest, most personal thoughts
mattering only to me
but instead plagued with the single thought
"I hope this trends I hope this trends"

If I had quit long ago
they would have asked
"whatever happened to the girl
who wrote good poetry?"
but they won't ask now.
they won't notice.

I poured black oil
over my previous work
and in a shocked attempt to clean it up
I only smear it further.

"quit while you're ahead"
I've lost my chance,
now I can only leave in shame.
and I'm sorry for that.

You boop my nose,
and kiss my mouth.

You hold my hand,
and put my mind at ease.

You leave bruises on my neck,
and make me happy.

I do these things for you too,
and it makes you happy.

you've got me sitting
alone
in my room
listening to the music you like
trying to figure you out
trying to decide if you like me
if you want me

my mother says
"he probably doesn't know either"

and i'm frustrated
because someone has to
someone has to understand
and i don't
and i have to
i have to understand
you're a puzzle i can't solve
is this something i'm doing to myself?
nothing is as analytical as i need it to be
your tones of gray are confusing me
and i can't find a way to organize
the things you say to me

but to say i don't enjoy the task
would be a lie
because it does, in fact,
make me feel alive
i want you to want me,
that's very true
but it won't be easy
to convince me
that it's okay to want you

Why is it I like you so much?
                                                            Uhm... I don't know! I think I'm charming
I don't think so
                                                          Well I don't know! They are your feelings
Are they?
                                                         They aren't mine!
Well you gave them to me!

Two weeks drug free.
I did it for myself,
I did it for my sister
for you
and for her.

Cravings don't wake me up at night anymore.
I can hold a cigarette without my hands shaking
and I can look my mother in the eye.

Where are you to share in my sobriety?
Where are you to help me through it?
(Where are you?)

your close friends are leaving you soon

and i don't know if i'll be here when they do

unless you clean up your act real quick

there's not much else i can do

because i'm going to love me before i love you

I love I love I love

It courses thorough me faster
Than a pulse
My default hunger
Surges
A calm hot force rocks me.
We swing through the hours
Feeling weighed down by green gelatin
But breathing is the easiest thing
In the world now
No pain, never
Only peace and the tide and the fire blooming
I can't grasp loneliness
I'm friends with myself now
And I'll curl up tonight and I won't feel alone
And I'll be just fine
I'll topple into sleep and
Wake without wisps of dreams clinging to my fingers
It's mystorical!
There's no earth to crash into so I'll fall as fast as I please
And there's no fear
And there's
no pain, never
Only peace and the tide and the fire blossoming

I like you.
Yes, quite a bit I do.

Just about as much as I like the stars,
and quite a bit more than I like cars.

I like you as much as a like the trees,
it's safe to say that you're the bees knees.

I like you more than I like drugs,
and one of my favorite places to be,
is wrapped in one of your hugs.

Poetry is about what is said
And what is implied

Implying is known for its subtle
Body gestures or vague sentences

Syntax and diction often control
The reader's persepctive

but
how can I control what other's think

Is it colorful word choice
Or WHAT WORDS STAND OUT

Am I accurate in assuming that
With a simple
pause

and repeat of word
I can cause someone to think otherwise?

Is it crazy that I control
the beat
in time
with a
meter

My dear I seem to have you under a spell
Can I tell you something

I'm not falling for you
I am in fact

Floating
Or for a better word

Afloat with you
Enjoying the water

And maybe
Someday
at some point
In some time

I will be ****** in
Drowned in your bliss
Penetrated by your words
Enraptured by your touch

Poetry is for mad people
With nothing better to do than to scrawl out their words with a pen nearby or a ***** keyboard that sounds more atrocious than the screaming of a fish

Poetry is the only way I can say my feelings
and if it's confusing

I'm sorry
I'm also confused

Maybe your love won't be drowning
and for once

It will feel like flying

you're delicate
you make me feel light and airy
you remind me of sunrises and
foggy, chilly mornings
and bright sunflowers
which are my favorite kind
you're soft and kind
you make me feel happy

and i want you to **** me with everything you've got