I don't know what is more empty -
The look in my eyes when I stare at myself in the mirror
Or the way my heart feels when I think of my life without you

***** it hurts

Now I must learn to move on.
I must learn to not let your smile make my heart beat a thousand times faster.
I must learn to not smile against your chest like I do each and every time you hug me.
I must learn to not let your voice give me a sense of security, protection and comfort.
I must learn to not feel so much happiness when I see you happy, because our happiness is not shared anymore.
I must learn that you are not mine. I've lost you.

I now know things are over with you. We both do, and it hurts me so much.
I should've just kissed you last night. Why didn't I just kiss you? Was it because I didn't want to hurt you further? Was it because I was scared how I would feel afterward?
I loved it when you held me. No one can touch me like you do.

I really don't want to lose you, but I know I can't keep holding on.
I am stuck in a place of hopelessness. No matter what I do, somebody will get hurt. I would rather it be me than you, but I have a feeling that we will both feel the pain.

A little bit of pain is good. More is tolerable. But the pain we will both feel will eat us up alive - I pray we survive it.

What does "I love you" really mean?

It means that I accept you for who you truly are, with all your imperfections and flaws.
It means that I would do anything for your happiness; it doesn't matter about my feelings, it's about yours. As long as you are happy, I am happy.
It means that I can't go a minute without thinking about you, and you constantly occupy my mind.
It means what it means: I love you, really truly love you, and I will never leave you or let you go.

I know what we have is not true love.
I know I am not in love with you.
I know this because I am not passionate, infatuated, obsessed, crazy, insane and completely head over heels for you.

I love you - but I am not in love with you. I love you in the way I will do absolutely anything and everything for your happiness. It kills me to see you hurt or cry, to see you broken.
I love you, I really do. I love you very much.
Just please know I'm not in love with you, and I am so sorry.