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 Dec 2018 disappointment
Ally Ann
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of Hell
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't
Life was quiet before you came along.
Just a mother and her two kids, living.
You came in like the perfect man to fit the little family.
You settled in quickly and took a place in our home.
It was perfect.
There we all were, living.

As the years went by your true colors started to show more and more.
Mr. Perfect’s mask began to slip.
No more fun and games, “no more Mr. Nice Guy.”
Abuse in all forms took over our lives, all because of you.
You wedged your way between mother and son.
Turned us all into enemies.
Moved our little family out to the middle of nowhere.
That’s where you gained your newest title amongst the others.

Murderer.

— The End —