I remember getting in your truck to go for a drive.
Next I remember waking up in the hospital to all of my family around me.
Except for you.

This can’t be real.

I asked for you over and over but no one would say a word.
I screamed and cried, but still not one answer.
Why won’t they answer me?
Eventually it dawned on me that you were gone.
Another person I loved leaving me before they should.
My father leaving me before I could say goodbye.

This can’t be real.

I woke up crying today.
I’m not usually the type to cry but you’ve never left me before either.
It seemed so real.

But it wasn’t.

It was just a dream.
A nightmare.
A ‘wake up call’ if you will.

Poem or just a rant, call it what you will.
I’m scared to lose my parents.
I learned that today.
Life was quiet before you came along.
Just a mother and her two kids, living.
You came in like the perfect man to fit the little family.
You settled in quickly and took a place in our home.
It was perfect.
There we all were, living.

As the years went by your true colors started to show more and more.
Mr. Perfect’s mask began to slip.
No more fun and games, “no more Mr. Nice Guy.”
Abuse in all forms took over our lives, all because of you.
You wedged your way between mother and son.
Turned us all into enemies.
Moved our little family out to the middle of nowhere.
That’s where you gained your newest title amongst the others.

(Lucky) 17

“Happy birthday, kid, unwrap your gift. But your dismissal wasn’t on my list.”

It’s that time of year again.
Your birthday is coming up fast.
You would have been seventeen.
Look who’s getting old now.
Isn’t that what you used to say to me?

Six years have gone by but your absence is hitting hard this time around.
I was the same age when we lost you for good.
‘Lucky number 17’ is it?
Doesn’t seem so goddamn lucky to me.

Is it strange that I always knew something tragic was going to happen in my life?
Why did it have to be you losing yours?

“Separate me from pain, I can’t live like this. Take it away.”

— The End —