My head on his chest
Fingers drawing circles around his navel,
"You know how if the moon were any closer
Or any farther away,
Our tides would be outrageous?"
A smile creeps along his lips,
"Mmm-hmm."
"And if this earth were any closer
Or any farther way
From our sun,
We wouldn't have life?"
His "yes" trails off.
"Well, that's like you and I--
If you were any smaller
Or any bigger
We couldn't fit together perfectly like this."
He kisses my forehead
And pulls me closer.

you said you could hold the sun in your fist
and call nightingales when you were ******
that all the deceptions made it easier to trust
and you could see the stars leaking dust

you pulled out sections of your hair
raked your scalp, saying life was fair
and sank your teeth into my arm
saying it wouldn't cause me any harm

you broke the dish and crowed it fate
sent words forth to muddy the slate
and when I cried and begged for less
you told me I was a reckless mess

you carved up pieces, embraced the floor
told me I should have dreamt of more
I dried my tears and latched the gate
your truth whispered, it's far too late

you were the artist, painting colours on skin
sang words of love, such sweet impeccable sin
and some days I can't find where they end and I begin
despite escaping I still cradle you within.

I know you're bad for me
no, scratch that
I know you're killing me

Each time I breathe you in
I exhale as violently as I can
desperately compensating for my shame
But your dark fingerprints linger

I know that if I drink too much,
I will find you between my dry lips,
their cracks, formed by the action of spitting you out
providing inroads for your thick, stifling presence

Someone keeps writing about you in my notebook
but whoever it is seems scared to pen your name