where do i go/
what do I know/
tension sizzles, even in the snow/
bottom of the pit/
I express it with the synths/
or in writtens that I think/
(I'll leave when I finish my ******* drink)/
I cant talk to you so I write it down in ink/
(is this really all in sync, my perception of reality down the sink)/
some conceptions I can't link/
(out and about, my gar do carry stink)/
the music keeps playing/
In a loop where the soul seems to be decaying/
my way out is said without saying/
bathing in the what if’s I forgot to regret/
in the end, no time to sever/
all in one, an experience at my favor/
live and learn, apply my mind after the awareness lessens the subtle trouble deep within what makes my soul quaver/
my dear, all that may be clear, may appear to be something sincere/
(no fear, the impact is severe, it’s ok to be a little queer)

(she was an artist)

      painted my happiness with her lips

how did you survive the hell I gave you?


       why did I in the first place?


:/ :/ :/ sjkaosjalakaj

Haha

so
Sorry.... u know

I am so proud of you

And man.... looking through boxes filled with the things you gave me

Brought me to tears.... I smiled and only knew that I only want you to be happy

(looking back I laugh at my acts that lacked a love I knew in fact)



wasn’t aware of the unconscious activity being portrayed

until the end it hits

hit me like a blitz

it’s you
the only person I’ll ever miss

but I know.... the acceptance takes time to settle

on to a generated change

one I can’t complain about

something to learn from

something to hold on to

but letting go of the idea of being together


you are not an idea

lovely manifestation

You came at me from everywhere

but I ended up taking us nowhere you wanted

The results are being lived

But I’m focused

Aware








Sabrina




I love you

Sabrina and ****
On my mind
Reading through old convos
Awww
Sweet girl
Your insight inspired me
These tears
Of joy
I only want you to be happy
I’m happy knowing you did what you had to do
For you
Not for me
For you
I love you so much
Always
Will always love you
Simple times
It’s passing like the dart on a summer day it was our time and you weren’t meant to stay

I guess though bro and ****...
But u know
I be here
Just here
Ready to take on anything

Want to hear your voice, but I’m patient
Even if I never get to hear it again
I’m patient

dear human
It was more than a relationship

But I mean
It’s always too late

And to easy to regret

In hopes of nothing but a greater now

So much... inside to express
In different ways
If was a connection

How did I get this far?
Distorted vision
Collision for some sense
Love that I didn’t remember when I slept
Could’ve forgotten the tears that been wept
Regret to be swept
Socially inept when I ponder about my end

man in the mirror
who else can I depend on?

wipe the thoughts from my mind to "be" a little clearer

once upon
a time
rewind
no lexicon

to describe

my love beyond the stars up above

                         para ti

out and about with no doubt in my steps
out to test the handles to manifest
                                   (ideasoutthefuckingdomeandIsaythatwithmychest)

excuse the ego, it's probably best


(sometimes I feel like I'm living like I'm holding on to the weakest set of limbs)



when the chances are thin, nothing to limn


reach within your inner vim







sitting here before work

10:31 am

I go in at 11


haven't gotten dressed yet

drinking coffee

listening to music

about to get my **** in


tonight I might get some ***** in


but recently the tears make me feel like I'm



losing.....


but that's just.... overthinking



what am I thinking?


I need to get ready for dat werk werk

racetrac clerk clerk


putting in that fookin werk werk


crazy **** ****

dunk my nuts on your face like I'm dirk dirk

okay I'm going to get ready




                 now

mu...




ah

flying by busy school weeks
periods of stress
overthinking my time to make things
just sit and do
nothing else
my phone rings for plans but I'm here
typing **** up
learning chords
a vision that never gets bored

Try to stay away
Silence I can’t remain
Forget the language we created
The moments ever lasted
When you cross my mind, why don’t you say hi?
Carry on
Even in the cold
Head held bold
Even buried under a million stones
I shall shine through the cracks
Daily tunes
Tormenting blues
(Lots to feel) Covered in different shades of hue
But only feel blue

a sirenic void
entrance to detachment

what is there to replace?
when all there is has always been

out the bin with regrettable sin
the walls of boundaries are thin

when all comes to an end
where the **** do I begin?

sashayed into a doom
the corner of my room

a lesson learned with grace
a healthy bitter taste


******* ****


my time I cannot waste
I put the flower on a pedestal and not a vase


sometimes wasted times wasted feeling numb below my waist

copy paste erase **** I rather not face

what's the point?