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6.3k · Dec 2016
The Rooftop
He slowly assembles his rifle on the barren rooftop as the
     wind blows through his light blond hair.
His long overcoat ***** and wraps around his thin long
    legs.
He places his elbows upon the short wall in front of him,
     firmly kneeling on both knees.
Glancing into the rifle's sight, he focuses sharply through
     its cross hairs; he sees hundreds passing through the sight,
     men, women, children, and as he sees it, a maze
     of mass hysteria.
He thinks of his current desperate situation and with each
     passing thought, his heart pumps more hateful
     adrenaline through his expanding veins.
What am I?....He wonders.
"I am the orphan child too ugly to adopt!
I am the spit in the street you step in and curse!
I am the cockroach so many crush beneath their feet!
I wish to love and beloved, for I am ever so lonely,
     so empty.
I wish to give my whole self to someone to make them
     eternally happy!
To sacrifice all I possess, including my life, for the one
     I love,
but I am thoughtlessly branded a stalker!
I am the void in all broken hearts.
As a child, I only wished to be loved and appreciated,
but I was raised the invisible child.
There's a painful sore in my throbbing brain, the lethal
     virus of society'd disdain.
I'm insane!....I'm insane!...Give me peace, God if you exist
     Give me peace!
He glances once again through the sight's cross hairs,
catching sight of a young boy standing alone, mouth wide open
    with tears rolling down his cheeks.
He pauses.....envisioning himself, his blue eyes cloud
     with tears.
He pulls back back his loaded rifle placing it against the
     short wall,
realizing at the moment this wasn't the way to end his
     unbearable pain.
Reaching into his deep overcoat's pocket, his long fingers
     catch grasp of the cool surface of a 9 mm.
Pulling it slowly from his pocket, he raises it to his temple,
slipping his finger upon its tight trigger he whispers once
     again,
"God....if you exist,
Give me peace."
To explain this piece, I wrote it over 15 years ago. I was a child who was nearly beaten to death twice by the age of 5 years old. One thing I do remember was at the times I was being beaten, it was almost like I was observing it from outside my body. When I started school I was a skinny, poor, cross eyed kid who went from one beaten to another. I once wrote, that I was like Daniel walking into the lion's den, the kids hopped about me like kangaroos with wolves teeth, punching me, spitting on me, continuously mocking me. I became just a shell of a child and sadly hated myself like all others. Took me years to heal I was quiet, introvert, who couldn't even find a date; but with time, I grew stronger, for I had family that reached out and showed me I was more than a rag doll to to be tossed around. People, called me a saint and a great guy! But in the final summation, it was the bitterness of an unforgiven world and it's cruelty that made me a tortured soul, etched thoughts that bled into my wounded soul. I grew to love my father and I grew to see the good in people. I harbored physical and emotional scars that amazingly never weighed me down and when people spoke of the cruelty I suffered, it was a hind thought. It became someone else, not me. But realize that all people are molded with each day of their lives and that mold can always be molded to be destructive! Faith and openness are great healing tools, for confidence and soul.
2.1k · Jul 2012
"A Voice From The Ghetto"
I sneak a peek through the bullet hole in my *****
      kitchen's window,
steel bars prevent escape.
I gaze upon piles of worthless junk thoughtlessly
     discarded on the asphalt lot below,
where children run and play.
Momma drinks to another day's sorrows, from a
     fingerprinted glass,
surrounded by the colored bottles from yesterday's
     celebration.
I quietly walk to the living room
where a suffering Jesus weeps silently upon the
     silver-flowered wallpapered wall,
I swear sometimess he speaks to me in a whisper,
telling me,
"Don't despair."
Arguing voices cursing the misfortunes of a drug deal
     gone bad.
Break! The silence outside my living room's door.
Dungeon gray....
Heavy as steel.....
Countless locks.....
A piercing scream echoes,
goes ignored,
then fades....
I sit alone upon our dusty brown couch,
as Momma rambles on senselessly in the other room,
an alcholics tune.
I stare once again to the suffering Jesus hanging hopelessly
     upon the wall,
as the night draws near and the light as dim as my
     dreams?
I whisper a tearful prayer for hope,
within this ghetto's
gloom.....
2.0k · Aug 2011
"A Love of Nature and You"
I love the yellow sun,
     the blue morning's sky,
          the countless colorful birds,
               quickly flying by.....

I love the radiating warmth,
     that kisses my smooth skin,
          tingles my tender heart,
               always makes me sing.....

I love the aqua ocean who's playful waves
     dance across the horizon,
          on brilliant sunny days......

I love the shadows that settle into night,
     that bring a cool quiet, as I gaze upon
          the starry. starlit night........

I love the silver moon,
     its smiling face afar
          which I could only wish to touch
                 assuring him,
                      I'm never very far......

I love the pouring rain,
     whether it be cool, or warm,
          for it feeds the heavenly flowers
               that line the greenest lawns......

Finally,
     all I can ever say,
          is that I love this world so true,
               for its beauty,
                    its life,
                         its inclusion,
                              of someone as sweet
                                    as You!!!!
2.0k · Aug 2013
"A Loving Father Called God"
Dear God, let me lay my head upon your lap,
upon your soft white robe,
when the wind is cold and biting,
and I have no place to go....

Let me lay my head upon your lap,
upon your soft white robe,
when the darkness of the darkest night surrounds me
and I have no hand to hold....

Dear God, stroke my soft scalp with your tender hands,
when all I do is cry,
from pain, loss, suffering,
which never answers why?

Stroke my soft scalp with your tender hands,
when I grow old and immobile,
when my name becomes forgotten
and my dreams become just dreams....

Dear God, kiss my heart with your golden lips,
when it becomes cracked and broken,
from the constant failures in life
and praise that's never spoken.

Dear God, sit me upon your strong knee,
when I come to join you upon your cloud,
and you whisper within my eternal heart,
how much I made you proud.....
This is a revelation I experienced while my dad was dying, a simple moment, a simple thought; but an elevation to another place within my heart. Dad died a few days later, though we had our differences and dad could be a bitter man, I cried the day he died.....Because within my heart I knew he tried his best....
1.7k · Feb 2014
The Neighbor Hood
Ghetto child, dusty brown face, hopeless eyes, dandelion flower,
piles of dirt surround him.
He quickly runs across glittering pieces of glass
that mimics the sound of ice crushing beneath his
     paper-thin soles.
Sirens scream! Radios blare! No angels to be found,
at least not here.
Tall brick building,
six stories high,
so worn and torn from many loveless years.
Baby doll, blond and white,
tossed from the high rooftop late last night,
cracked face,
broken smile,
she once brought solace to a lonely child,
she now lies forgotten amid a maze of discarded trash.
Drunken man leans against a blood-stained wall to
    support his failing body,
brown papered-bagged bottle he clenches in his bandaged
     hand;
he struggles to reach his lips to swallow its pain-killing
     contents.
"How bout a date, sweetness?"
He slurs to two young girls passing by,
who carefully ignore his cry,
but jokingly remark of his haggard condition
as they quickly pace down the noisy garbage strewn street
and he fades within the darkness of the heated night,
without as much as a prayer to soothe his waning soul.
In this neighborhood lost,
at high human cost,
in the heart of the thriving city......
A vision of a neighbor hood, I once knew......
1.2k · Sep 2013
"A Soldier's Last Letter"
My Love;
If I should pass this warm, star-filled, summer's night....
With the smiling moon,
     so full......
        Ever so bright.....
Tomorrow I will become the brightest star
     streaking through your clearest window
         shinning my most beautiful silver light
             upon your smooth face,
                at rest, upon your softest pillow.....
I will enter your saddest dreams
    your tear filled, broken heart
       engulfing you in my warm spiritual, caress,
           soothing your sorrows
               bringing you peaceful rest....
If I should pass, this warm, star-filled, summer's night,
    remember always, I love you, forever,
        until that glorious day in Heaven
            we joyfully unite..........
1.1k · Nov 2011
"It Happened One Night"
Rain poured upon my window,
the night Marie died,
but the moon shone bright upon all other windows.
As the night grew late.
I was awakened, by the heavenly sound of an angel
     singing a most beautiful tune,
         of Marie......
While she sang, the rain began to subside.
I knew I had to view this heavenly creature outside,
for her song and perfect playing filled my heart with so
      much comforting grace.
I glanced outside as the remaining raindrops slithered
      down my window like tiny snakes.
I saw the heavenly angel dressed in brilliant white,
with long golden hair illuminating the darkness of the
      night,
with a small harp of silver and blue gently cradled within
      her tender hands,
and for a brief moment, I saw Marie standing there,
        audience to this most perfect being.
She looked to me in a moment's light,
smiling the brightest smile,
the one I've always known her to possess.
She waved good-bye and whispered to me a sweet
      good-night,
as her spirit took flight like a meteor into the black night
      sky.
I watched the streaking orange light disappear,
as a tear like a brilliant diamond rolling slowly  down my
      soft cheek
sparkled as it dropped to the dusty wood floor on which I
stood,
splashing in a sound no louder than a whisper.
I breathed an empty painful sigh,
staring into the dark eternal sky
and with pure hope she would hear
I spoke softly this sad reply.....
"Good night! My sweet Marie.....
      My! Dear Mother......
            Good night......."
Dedicated to my Mom, my eternal best friend.......
991 · Aug 2011
"Upon The River"
Upon the river no one knows
     the beauty of my quiet place
          where no one ever goes...

A piece of Heaven
     upon still waters
           where the sun sets faithfully
                warming the soft currents
                     where a piece of nature thrives....

The soft whisper's of the subtle frogs
     that skip across the shore
          and ageless logs....

The countless stars that reflect off the face
     of my eternal friend
          at a steady pace....

Upon the river no one knows
     the beauty of of my quiet moments
          where nature flows....

Where I heard God's whisper
     an angel's sigh.....

Where I saw Heaven for a moment
     and began to cry....
953 · Feb 2012
"Conversion"
Oh, it's been so long since I've been able to prize my precious freedom,
      stripped from me by the beasts who feast on my hopeless society.
The thick darkness that surrounds me
has wrapped my wanting soul and emotionless heart in
     the heaviest chains
pulled so tight to block any light to enlighten me.
In a cell, a cell so small and barren of all human sound but
     my own....
The icy walls numb my touch.
I have prayed for the light of day,
but only recieved the deep darkness of night,
entombed with the dull voices that repeat in my head
of those who have gone before me in this hellish cell.
I hear the slight tapping of roaches' feet
as they scurry across the hard concrete floor to eat,
the small crumbs of my last meal.
I pace....without grace,
to the other side of my small hell,
hearing the cracking of each shell beneath my  callous feet
I cannot help to think,
how these small creatures long to wreak their vengeance
       on me.
No longer do I resent their presence,
I appreciate any form of life no matter how revolting it
     may be,
to help me to sustain my fading sanity.
I dreamed of the moon today.
I dreamed I stared into its silver face
for hours.....
only to be consummed as if through a straw in my entirety.
I was finally free,
Oh! What a beautiful dream.
Then I dreamed of God.....
I dreamed I heard his voice
and his soft sobbing for me.
I saw his loving angel standing beside me.
He illuminated my darkness with the warmest yellow
     light,
as vicious, cursing demons outside these coldest walls,
screamed in a spine-tingling chorous of undying pain,
electrifying my brain with total fear.
Their heavy chains were loosened from my dying spirit
and I was touched with sustaining faith
of the immeasurable beauty of God's endless love for me.
Oh, God, let your warm teardrops fall upon me like the
     pouring rain,
that I've longed to feel so long
and set my heart ablaze
with praise
for your infinite mercy
and love......
929 · Sep 2011
"The Broken Tree"
I came upon a broken tree in a vast forest dense and dark,
     splintered.....
         sap-oozing....
              like fresh blood,
                   from its coldest bark.

Supported by its fellow trees like a wounded soldier,
      I heard its mystical cry,
           as it wept upon their shoulders,
                without an utter why!?

The silver moon and its companion stars
     gazed down upon its breadth,
          as the great forest's solemn creatures
               stopped....
                     stood in mystique silence,
                          to mourn their dear friend's death.......
876 · Oct 2014
On The Road to Tomorrow
On the road to tomorrow, I met an Angel who had lost her way.
     On the road to tomorrow I met a friend I asked to stay.
On the road to tomorrow, a dust did paste the air
     but the coolest rains from Heaven's plains
          soon made my vision clear......

For On the road to tomorrow I learned to love again,
     for I met the most beautiful woman and Angel in life
         who soon became my friend.....
Short and Sweet....For Love.....
866 · Jun 2014
Untitled
Red.....
Orange......
Setting sun.....
Your the one I cherish by my side in the warmth of the approaching summer's night......
Entwined in body....
Entwined in soul....
As the stars appear and glitter bright
A falling star alights the night
I wish upon it and so do you
A wish we pray will only come true
A wish to never grow old
A wish to never die
For together we're in Heaven....
Together we never cry tears of sorrow or pain...
We remain one beating heart....
One living breath.....
One warm breeze to tease nature's appetite......
A prayer upon a desert oasis....
Distant stars that inspire all poets....
A shinning moon that guides all steps to what is good........
810 · Aug 2013
"A Winter's Night"
Silver moonlight, spotlights
                          through my bedroom's window
                            upon the hardwood floor.
                         ****** snow blankets the yard
                           a blanket of cotton aglow.
                       Leafless trees stand in quiet slumber
                      awaiting the spring's first warm breath
                thousands of tiny stars  dot the clear winter's night sky.
                    As I gaze upon this beautiful scene
                                   I think of Mom
                     small, frail, full of sweetness
                     who passed this early fall.....
             I remember her silhouette standing motionless in the
                                moon glow
                  near our little kitchen window
                   as the seasons came to call.......
A vision of mom before her passing years ago. Mom was my everything and my best friend, as a young child I would pray to god if mom ever died I asked him to please! Let me die too, for I believed I could never live without her.....But ironically when she passed, I felt as if she had never died and I still feel her presence with me today.....Nothing short of a miracle...
748 · Jan 2014
"I Wish To Be"
I wish to be the heavenly angel who guides your every step.....
     I wish to be the candle you light that illuminates the darkest church
          when your life seems lost
               and things seem they could never be any worse.....
            
I wish to be the shinning moon that kisses your sleeping face
     or the brightest sun the fills you
          with its warmest grace......

I wish to be the pouring rain, that cools you on a hot summer's day,
     or the powered snow, in which you roll and play making perfect angels
          on a winter's day.....

I wish to promise you the world
     but give you the universe.....

I wish to be the sorrowful words upon your sweetest lips,
     to God,
          after your infuriated,
               lash out
                    and curse,
                         at the one you so love,
                              no matter how much it hurts.....

I wish to die for you, no matter how great my life may be,
     for to live my life without you, would mean no life for me.....

For you are my heart!
You are my soul!
You are my everything!
You are the sweetest song on a blue sky morning
      of the most colorful birds which never cease to sing.....

So take a moment, my sweet love, and imagine me,
     as your moon and stars
          as everything you may ever need for complete happiness
               in this world as vast as ours.....
I wish to be......
746 · May 2013
"The Fading Sunset"
Consumed by the fading sunset,
     Orange, yellow, blue.....
         There was a fleeting moment,
              I dreamed a dream of you.

Your beauty heavenly sweet
      Consumed my heart complete
          the angels touched my soul
              no need for sadness console.

I thank my God this day
     as the blazing sun slips away
          for your warmest tender touch
               for your love I love so much.......
672 · Apr 2016
"Vortex of Her Insanity"
Your insanity traps me
    surrounds me with heavy darkness and loneliness.
         I welcome death, but then again fear it
              I'm so alone when her mind is twisted
                  Her tongue rips through my heart
                       causing my soul to bleed.....

Yesterday I was young and alive
     today I am old and dying.

She rambles in the distant room
     locked in conflict with her thoughts
          My heart beats wildly contemplating a better life
              a life which at times seems would only be a reality through my death.

     Charging into the room she switches on the blinding light
           blasting me for something I committed in her twisted mind.
A something locked from my view, my reality, very much etched in her burning brain.

I confront her to no avail for my uncommitted sin
     she flees the tense room
ever more infuriated, for my unknown heartlessness.
    I don't pursue remaining to relish in my painful loneliness.

I wish to escape...
     I want to leave; but my heart won't let me go...
         I remember the you that left, full of life and love
              She's the one I can't let go
                    She's the one inside of you
                        crying for rescue
                            but too far to reach....
Dealing with the insanity of a loved one, takes patience and a lot of grace from God.
670 · Jun 2012
"The Alley"
I saw her crying as her tears puddled beneath her feet,
as the garbage cans burned in a red glow.
I heard music in the distance muffled and stale,
as its sound passed through the sour smell of burning
       trash.
She cried, her tears glittered like pieces of broken glass,
that cut through her smooth cheeks.

Oh! My sweet dear,
Please! Don't cry,
for I love you;
those tattered clothes do you no justice,
for you are the most beautiful woman I know.

Broken hearts can be mended,
don't you cry,
for dreams may come true,
even in the dark alleys where those who sleep do not exist,
except for me,
to them,
to you......
652 · Sep 2013
"I Walked Alone"
I walked alone that late October's day,
through the quiet suburban streets.
Red and Orange leaves fell from the curbside trees,
dancing a spiral dance enhancing nature's beauty.

I walked alone, for being poor,
was reason enough to be ignored,
by the other kids I'd see.

Zigzagging through the neighborhood,
in my brown worn suit,
my only suit,
with the right pocket worn through
and my brown clip-on tie  rolled into a ball within the
other.....

As I quietly walked
I spoke  softly to myself,
imagining what it would be like,
to not be me.

But the love I had for my mom and dad,
my brother and sisters,
granted me the strength to hold on.
I swiftly moved on,
down the cracked sidewalks
as the colorful leaves circled in the warmest breeze,
as the brightest sun,
guided me on,
to the place I was accepted,
where I was never alone,
the little green house I called my home....
Reflection of a childhood memory......
613 · Dec 2013
"The Ocean of Your Love"
Within the warmness of your soul
    I found my comfort....
Forever I will sing a joyous song
    to my creator for his passionate mercy
        for setting me free when his tender hands
            gently pushed me into your brilliant aura
                  that has bathed me within the warmest of love.
I only wish to swim within the thoughts of your euphoric happiness.
    forever enwrapped within the steady waves
         of your euphoria
               never wanting to die
                    praying to live forever.....
583 · Jun 2015
A Soldier's Prayer
Soldier alone,
     sheds tears that no one sees
          as he gazes into a smoke filled sky
              across the bluest seas....
Crack's of angry gunfire, amidst the blast of pain
      racks the world around him
          senseless and insane.
A thought of home
     a thought of a new life to be
          is the only hope he can grasp
              to set his spirit free....
Within this troubled world
    a prayer this day he'll say
        to a God of which he still believes
           exist in every way.
              "Dear God! of this I hope and heart-fully pray,
                   that you stand by my side and protect me,                                        
                     each moment
                       in each
                        in every way;                                                             ­                               
                         for the good of all I love
                            for my hearts desire this day
                            is to once again caress,
                                 the ones I dearly love,
                                   in my home, so far away.
                                      I beckon your spirit
                                         to  please!                                                                  ­                                                           Fill my entire soul.....
                                            May I live to see the day                                                                    when I can gracefully
                                                      and happily,  grow old...
558 · Feb 2016
A Blend of Heart and Soul
As I blend with your heart and soul
    I feel the warmth that keeps me alive.
All tears I shed are those of joy
   for I've become the man I wished to be
      wrapped in dreams of security
          fueled by the undying love
              you shower upon me every waking moment together.

I can not thank God enough
    for this dream come true
         YOU!
             My dream.....
                  My dream.....
                        Come true!.....

My eternal friend
    holder of my heart
         flame of my soul
            my today
                 my tomorrow
                     my future companion in Heaven's realm
                            where we will run
                               through.....
                                  colorful
                                    flower filled fields
                                        towards golden rainbows
                                            of eternity
                                                  of endless joy.........
557 · Oct 2013
"An Orphan's Song"
I wish I had a loving family I could call my very own,
     within the warmest house,
           never left alone.....
I wish I had a sweet mom,
     to tuck me in at night,
          to kiss my soft forehead,
               assuring me
                    everything will be alright.....
I wish I had a dad, to sit me upon his sturdy knee,
    to carry me upon his strong shoulders;
         how truly proud I'd be.....
I wish I had a brother, or sister,
     maybe two or three
          to have
                to hold
                      to hug
                            to always care for me.......
But these things I have none,
     these things I have never known,
           but it's nice at times to dream,
                 so I won't feel
                       so alone........
Wrote this after both my parents were gone, though I was older, no longer a child, I realized when mom and dad are gone you truly do feel like an orphan, no matter how old you are. Take the time to appreciate the good in your parents and siblings while you still can.......
530 · Dec 2013
"I Love The Snow"
I watched hypnotized by the falling snow outside my
     living room's window.
It fell like falling stars through the lights of the bright
     street lights.
I switched on the porch light to catch sight of more,
as it fell softly on the porch steps,
dreaming of a school-less day to come.
Oh! How beautiful it is.....
Where does it come from? I asked myself,
is it sugar from God's coffee table?
Or maybe it's sand from baby angel's sand boxes?
I must say this I really don't know,
but I know with my whole heart
that I truly love....
I love the snow.
My childhood view of snow......
525 · Jul 2014
"My Softest Whisper"
My softest whisper sweeps upon the summer's breeze,
     through green leaves of which they tease.....
A whisper of love
     soft and pure, which will find your heart
          and restore the invigorating happiness that brightens your spirit
                 causing your blue eyes to glow......
Like the blue lakes on mountains high
      in the summer's sun, where we once said goodbye!.....
In the hope to meet again
     to touch....
          to consume.....
               as lovers.....
                    as friends.....
Hand in hand beneath the stars.....
     Smiling moon.....
          Spying mars.....
I long for this time to be.....
     When we are one
             and our love grows to be
                   like a raging fire
                         that warms the dark forest at night
                                that will blaze through the years
                                      through winter's light......
523 · Apr 2014
"Mom Only Had a Dollar"
We didn't have much that early Easter eve
as my brother and sisters and I begged Mom with mouths
      drooling,
for jelly beans that shone like pearls on the department
     store's shelves.
Chocolate rabbits beckoned us to be eaten,
with our senses overwhelmed in pure pleasure of wanting
     to do so.
Mom reached deeply into her dark-green frayed coat,
      which no one would envy wearing.
She quickly pulled out her gray worn purse,
snapping open its weak latch to peek inside,
I watched from a short distance as Mom peeked inside,
watching her heart breaking along with her pride.
I knew with my whole heart that early Easter eve that
     Mom truly cried,
for she only had a dollar,
as her disappointed children sighed.
In the spirit of Easter an Easter moment I never could forget.....
480 · May 2014
"A Mother's Love"
Mom;
You've brought colorful rainbows to my life
          from childhood to present day.
Your soft spoken words eased my childish fears
     during the thunder of stormy days.
Your gentle hands guided my steps
     till I could go it alone.....
These little gifts,
     the act's of thoughtfulness,
          from you I have always known.
For mom, it's been your goodness,
     your kindness,
          your brilliant diamond heart,
               that has filled my life with happiness,
                     with everyday I start......
476 · Aug 2013
"One Star-Lit Night"
As I gaze upon this star-lit night....
   I whisper your name, so soft, so light....
        I say a prayer within my soul
              the beautiful dream of you I'll always hold....
                    within my softest heart
                         within my searching mind
                              this image of you I find divine.....

As I gaze upon this star-lit night....
    My love for you is all that's right....
        Is all that I'll ever need....
             Will lead me to the Heaven I seek
                  of brilliant colors, of love complete....

As I gaze upon this star-lit night.....
     I pray you, dream a dream of me this night.
            A dream that sets your emotions free
                   finding their way to me....
                      Feeding my hungry heart....
                          My crying soul......
                              My wanting to hold....
                                   The fruitful body
                                         of your heavenly spirit.....
474 · Feb 2014
"Upon That Star"
Upon that star so far, so bright.....
     I wish to be this fateful night.
         As  whirlwinds of life bleed my soul,
                and my youngest years fade
                      as  I quickly grow old.....

Upon that star, so far, so bright,
     so close to heaven and its warmest light.
         I know I can find a place to be
             to soothe my soul and set me free....

From the pain, of the loss of you,
    you....
          You who loved me with every breath.
                My eternal flame until your death....

Which has brought death to the spirit I once knew,
      filled with brilliant colors
          that burned for you.....

Oh! My love,
     My brightest star
           far from me
                so very far.....
                    I pray this night I can be
                         upon that star, next to thee......
                             In Heaven's warmth and brilliant light.
                                  I'll kiss your soul and lips this night.......
468 · Feb 2014
"The Widow"
Tears of the deepest sorrow slowly roll down her wrinkled
     cheeks,
dripping upon her blue faded house coat.
She gasps for air through her tears,
she weeps for her beloved husband,
taken in his restful sleep this early morning.
Sitting upon a hardwood chair that kisses her kitchen's
     wall,
all is quiet except for her uncontrollable sobbing,
that echoes off her nicotine, and smoke-shaded kitchen
     walls.
The ceiling's light struggles to throw its light,
through a thin film of yellow grease,
as a small black and white spider toils  to spin his web
upon the far corner wall next to the soft-humming
     refrigerator.
Outside the kitchen's window illuminated by the
     reflection of the kitchen's light,
a scene like a most beautiful picture,
a purple early evening October's sky,
scattered with small dark gray clouds.
An angel's sweet whisper sweeps through,
with word's of comfort unheard,
the whisper, without a sound, bounces off the streaked
     glass of the kitchen's window
and with the cold wind passes into eternity.
She slowly rises from the wooden chair,
forcing her tired body into a hunched standing position
     with her steady right arm.
She turns to slowly pace into her narrow hallway,
with one hand she carefully braces herself against
     the wall,
where the dark prints of yesterdays past still remain
as her slow feet in pink flowered slippers worn through at
     the toes,
carry her.
Disappearing into the dusty darkness of her warm
     bedroom,
where with the passing lonely nights,
she will await
her joyous day to come.....
She lived next door, but sadly never knocked upon her door to say hello! Or maybe I'm Sorry....If I had back tomorrow, I would of shared in her sorrow and hopefully brightened her remaining days.....Ironically I wasn't blind, but humanely heartless at the time, forgive me...sweet lady.......But I know in your Heavenly kindness you are forgiving to all.......
Remember Dad.....
Who struggled hard and knew his place within  his
     children's hearts,
Tried in vain to hold on and not let us go,
     for he loved us so......
Soiled by the dirt of a hard day's work,
he was many times taken for granted,
for we had yet to embark on the realities of the true struggles
to survive in a hardened world.....
Dad, if I knew then what I know today,
there would have been only one hero within my life.
     You!.....
Dad, if Heaven only had a phone, I'd call you everyday, so I wouldn't feel so alone......You worked hard, you were misunderstood, but you were definitely good in all ways......To all of us and to all you met.....
428 · Jul 2014
"Alone in Love"
I saw you today,
we spoke
and as we spoke you mentioned his name
with the brightest most, exuberant smile
and I died inside.....
Fleeing your presence like a sinner scorned,
I disappeared into the charcoal hue of the cold shadows of
     an endless hallway,
fearing you might hear the echoing sobs and the saddest tears
     I cried for you.
I prayed that very moment that my breaking heart might
     stop its steady beat,
for my soul wanting for your love ached in the stabbing cancer
     of defeat.
My starving heart bleeds tears of blood that flood my
     fading soul,
drowning all emotions it may hold.
Your captive image within my thoughts is all that remains,
as I remain hopelessly blinded by the haze of my undying
     love for you,
alone in complete darkness,
dreamless,
without you.......
419 · Nov 2014
"Her Whisper"
The painted black night sky and its silver stars
    caused me to cry the saddest tears
In the remembrance of the moment the joyful years
     we cherished together ended their glorious play.
A cool wind swept through the strong trees
     carrying with it your final soft whisper goodbye
          which gently kissed my rough cheek.....
The golden moon closed it sad gray eyes as if to weep
     and fall asleep In hope for your possible return
          in another life....
               in another time
                    in the world's beautiful arena of life.
Where the countless stars once again would dance with your free spirit
      and the sun ablaze would enhance your beautiful pearl white smile
           which would enlighten the lives of all that capture it
                 within their wanting hearts.......
369 · Apr 2014
Crushed
Blood drips from the leaves in season's change.
A reflection of my undying pain.
I reach for the stars, glued to the floors of hell.
So be it, for I lost my soul when I feel in love with you.
My blue skies have been slashed with the razor of
     frustration.
I see the demons peeking through.
Darkness falls in a crushing demise,
as Satan slaps me for my constant prayer.
My endless prayer
of forgiveness
of wanting you....
357 · Aug 2017
Orphan in the Wind
Standing in a dark forest on a cool spring's night
surrounded by the many tall trees with limbs disfigured,
their long fingers point to the vast heavens and cool earth below
appearing like grotesque creatures from a strange world.
Though they number many
      they seem so alone!
Black star filled sky
     quarter moon
          smile in the sky
              no nose....
                  No eyes for tears to cry
                       like I do everyday......
Lonely orphan I am traveling with the strong wind
     hoping where I may stop
          a loving angel will be there to lend me a helping hand
               to help me through another trying day.
A stare into the distance reveals a small house
     soft yellow light illuminates from its welcoming windows.
I wonder for a brief moment, if an orphan such as I
     traveling with the strong wind, with so little to offer in gratitude
         would be a welcome guest in such a peaceful place?
Setting aside my green cloth bag which contains all I own
    which is so little' but has grown heavier with each long mile
       quickly wearing my shoes paper thin....
I begin to think of mom and dad who have long passed
      their touching memories strongly remain within my
         broken heart....
I Wish my impossible dreams could come true
     if so....How great things would be...
"Mom! Dad! If Heaven only had a phone
      I would call you everyday, so I wouldn't feel so alone!"
I am an orphan child traveling with the strong wind
    seeking a loving home
        to gladly take me in.......
I guess I don't have to explain myself on this, for I experienced a great deal of loneliness in my life. Thing is to always reach out and give support to all in need. Doing good for others can always be self rewarding!
343 · May 2016
If I.....
If I were the only living man
     upon a large distant planet
         surrounded by the most beautiful women longing for love...
The only thought I could hold dear to my heart
      would be the thought of you
             and I
                  together
                       forever
                             in love.....
A special thought of true love.......
336 · May 2016
"An Urban View"
Cold, sweeping wind, homeless man, unshaven, tattered,
     red plaid coat, young daughter in hand,
        daughter's question; "Daddy why don't people care?"
             "They would sweetheart, if they knew we were here,
                  I guess it's you and me, kid?"
"I love you, Daddy" she replies, "you mean so much to me."
     The two disappear down the noisy street whipped by the
           coldest winds, two hands joined in union till the bitter end.
Handsome politician, young and strong,
     totally convinced
         within my great city, there's nothing wrong,
              stands with open hands to collect the many dollars to meet
                  the endless demands of the political elite....
Elderly woman, wrinkled and gray,
     stares through her sun faded window with so little to say
         "I once had a large family" she recalls,
               "where did they go?
                     Oh! God" she tearfully cries
                         "Where! did they go?"
Old collapsing church
      rotting wood door,
         large sign in front warns
            "Do not enter no more,
                  this building is condemned and so are the souls
                       who decided to forget the love it holds."
A first snowflake falls,
      melts to a tear drop near a crumbling brick wall,
           where a red rose does lie,
                where a young child did die,
                     with a simple note asking,
                           Why? Dear God Why?
                               Must we continue to cry?
311 · Dec 2018
"The Moose and the Mouse"
The Moose and the mouse
     ran through our house
        on that cold, gray winter's day.
The shower stammered
    as the dishes clamored
        and all our guest ran away.
Mother shrieked
     as the windows creaked
         and heavy hooves could be heard overhead
            as a tiny mouse darted up her blouse
                and she passed out as if she weren't fed......
I knew in my heart
    that I had to start
       to think up a well thought plan
           to rid my house
               of this moose and mouse
                   while my dear little house did stand.....
I grabbed a rope with my greatest hope
     to lasso this moose so big
         as the ceiling cracked
             throwing dusty wood flack
                  of plaster
                      and tiny wood twig.......
I charged the stairs throwing aside all fears
     like a gallant knight to rescue his queen.
Coming upon my room where this beast of doom
      lurked in the shadows as if not to be seen....
I stood my ground
      quickly calmed down
          each moment seemed like a day
              as this large scary moose
                 began to boost
                   "Boy! I've just come here to play."
"Play!" I did say in such a scolding way
       "And destroy my dear little house!?"
"Not my fault dear boy!
     it wasn't my ploy to enter your dear little house
         for when your mom exited her car
              she left the front door ajar
                 and let in my dear little friend
                     the mouse."
A little play on words and maybe a little touch of the winter's spirit.
290 · Sep 2016
Through the Universe
Upon the highest mountains
soaring through the brightest stars,
I glanced quickly towards Mars
remembering you
     and the love we knew.......
The emotions we two shared
     How we cared and bleed for each other's needs.
How we freed each other of our painful inhibitions
    our intuitions always in tune
       like the moon to the Earth's sparkling seas.
If there is a rebirth,
      let it be in a sea of humanity that includes only you
           where I will never lose touch to your warmness
               and star filled smile
                   that illuminates all who see its beauty
                      filling them with your heavenly
                             sunshine!......
                                   Your angelic grace......
It's been awhile......
260 · Apr 2018
A Corner I Wish to Die
I've been reaching.
Searching for that hidden truth.
Do you love me?
Do you even care?
The cold rain mixes with my warm tears,
as I stand on the street corner where we once met.
Thunder rolls overhead, as people in a parade of colored umbrellas curiously stare through me, wondering what lies within my soul to leave me thoughtlessly defenseless against the pouring rain.
Maybe I just wish to drown here?
To become a martyr of your love.
To be washed away never heard from again.
The thought of you races through my mind trapped,
as my heart breaks.
Contemplating never seeing you again.
Oh! How I just wish to breath your spirit once again.
To touch your heart feeling its passionate beat.
To bow to you in self defeat.
To enter you and become your soul.
Oh! It's just so cold in this pouring rain.
I scream out your name in excruciating pain.
Come back my love!
I need you to survive.
I need you to exist in joyfulness.
I need you; for I cannot survive without love.
And you!....Are all I can ever love.
257 · Apr 2017
Dream
If there is a tear within my eye
    that tear in my eye is for you....
For in my heart I forever long
     for the return of love that's true....
Birds constantly fly
    leave the sky
        dreams will come and go...
If there's a dream I long to dream
      it's the dream
             of one.... I know
                  of you....
Of the warmest night
      star filled sky
          embraced as one in tune
             the warmest breeze sweeps through the trees
                 as their leaves applaud our love in June....
If there's a dream I long to dream
    that dream is one of you...
      The perfect person
          The perfect love
                The love I wish I knew!....
238 · Apr 2018
A View of Heaven
As the day grew late,
the yellow flowers within the dark green pasture,
yawned....Then smiled
They bid the nurturing honeybees a sweet goodnight!
The painted red sky swallowed the remaining rays of sunlight
as the dark night brought to the world
a clear view of heaven......
211 · Dec 2023
Prayer of Complete Love
Dear God! Let me be a bright light in a world of dark despair.
Let me bring a joyous smile to a face washed with the saddest tears.
Help me feed the homeless who sleep on the cold, lonely streets
and miraculously always love and care in everyway!
I know it's hard in this world of much thoughtlessness and pain,
but I know when I pray to you my prayers won't go in vain.
I hope one day, to have my way and change this world for good!
Peace, Love, Understanding, will always be understood!
Through my early years as a child, I and my siblings saw the poverty of the projects and did want for what other children took for granted! But through those experiences we gained compassion and understanding and appreciation, for what little we had. I'm not a perfect person, but I do understand!
197 · Jun 2019
Charlie
Charlie, I heard you cried alone...
Ripped apart, heart and soul
     from the cold blood of war
          which consumed your soul...
Charlie, I know you cried painful tears
     that flowed from your heart
        upon the lifeless bodies
           of those you called brothers
               and friends...
A return to a home lonely and dark
    in the stark heartlessness of the Newark Ghettos
        you struggled to grasp life again
            which was quickly stripped away....
You once said to me in sincerity
     "The sun doesn't shine on the battlefield
           and the moon never smiles."
Your life quickly expired
      no wealth....
          No dreams come true....
              No goodbyes to the ones you loved...
                   Last words never heard....
You are once again surrounded by the fearless warriors
     beneath a lime green grass
         an unmarked grave though you saved many!
             Your final battles and heartaches never known
We've grown old
     Your name forgotten by all; but I....
I do cry for you in my memories at unsuspecting moments,
     I cherish your brave memory
         sadly your dusted medals
             lie in an unmarked box
                 hopefully to not be mistakenly discarded
                     in a dark corner amidst old memories....
May God's grace embrace and kiss your tired soul
     within the heavenly sunshine
         and a smiling moon
             My Hero....
                   My Friend.....
                         Till my dying day consumes any memory of you
                                and the struggles of a forgotten soldier.
Dedicated to my cousin Charlie....Who I looked up to as a child, as a hero, I remember his tears on his returns home and could feel his pain even at a tender, young age,
152 · Sep 2020
Questions?
Is that an Angel's tear;
   or is it yours?
The one I knew as my everything,
   my today,
      my tomorrow,
         brought me love,
            brought me sorrow.
Can I smile a moment though your not here?
Can I say I love you, though you don't care?
Can I build on today a greater tomorrow?
Can I be an angel though I bring others sorrow?
Can I be loved though I'm invisible?
Can I be happy when life is miserable?
I can be me,
   no matter who I am!
For what I am is me!
A child set free in a chaotic world
    with a soul yearning for love
        reaching for the stars
            and hope!
Its been awhile!
83 · Jun 20
Heart!
I have cried a million tears....
I feel a sharp sword piercing my heart
The pain is excruciating.....
The blood runs profusely through my heart!

Sometimes I am so alone, crying
staring, through a door's key hole...
I see you in the distance I scream your name
you don't hear.
Tears choke me.....
Slivers of my of my butchered heart lie upon the wood floor
still pulsating......
I will love you forever....
though you never cared!
Can you drown in tears?
I have....
Maybe one day a fleeting thought of me will sweep through your mind? You will smile and your heart will skip a beat keeping me alive!
As my memory fades in the minds I loved, who cared, for me.....
butchered heart

— The End —