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Charlie, I heard you cried alone...
Ripped apart, heart and soul
     from the cold blood of war
          which consumed your soul...
Charlie, I know you cried painful tears
     that flowed from your heart
        upon the lifeless bodies
           of those you called brothers
               and friends...
A return to a home lonely and dark
    in the stark heartlessness of the Newark Ghettos
        you struggled to grasp life again
            which was quickly stripped away....
You once said to me in sincerity
     "The sun doesn't shine on the battlefield
           and the moon never smiles."
Your life quickly expired
      no wealth....
          No dreams come true....
              No goodbyes to the ones you loved...
                   Last words never heard....
You are once again surrounded by the fearless warriors
     beneath a lime green grass
         an unmarked grave though you saved many!
             Your final battles and heartaches never known
We've grown old
     Your name forgotten by all; but I....
I do cry for you in my memories at unsuspecting moments,
     I cherish your brave memory
         sadly your dusted medals
             lie in an unmarked box
                 hopefully to not be mistakenly discarded
                     in a dark corner amidst old memories....
May God's grace embrace and kiss your tired soul
     within the heavenly sunshine
         and a smiling moon
             My Hero....
                   My Friend.....
                         Till my dying day consumes any memory of you
                                and the struggles of a forgotten soldier.
Dedicated to my cousin Charlie....Who I looked up to as a child, as a hero, I remember his tears on his returns home and could feel his pain even at a tender, young age,
The Moose and the mouse
     ran through our house
        on that cold, gray winter's day.
The shower stammered
    as the dishes clamored
        and all our guest ran away.
Mother shrieked
     as the windows creaked
         and heavy hooves could be heard overhead
            as a tiny mouse darted up her blouse
                and she passed out as if she weren't fed......
I knew in my heart
    that I had to start
       to think up a well thought plan
           to rid my house
               of this moose and mouse
                   while my dear little house did stand.....
I grabbed a rope with my greatest hope
     to lasso this moose so big
         as the ceiling cracked
             throwing dusty wood flack
                  of plaster
                      and tiny wood twig.......
I charged the stairs throwing aside all fears
     like a gallant knight to rescue his queen.
Coming upon my room where this beast of doom
      lurked in the shadows as if not to be seen....
I stood my ground
      quickly calmed down
          each moment seemed like a day
              as this large scary moose
                 began to boost
                   "Boy! I've just come here to play."
"Play!" I did say in such a scolding way
       "And destroy my dear little house!?"
"Not my fault dear boy!
     it wasn't my ploy to enter your dear little house
         for when your mom exited her car
              she left the front door ajar
                 and let in my dear little friend
                     the mouse."
A little play on words and maybe a little touch of the winter's spirit.
As the day grew late,
the yellow flowers within the dark green pasture,
yawned....Then smiled
They bid the nurturing honeybees a sweet goodnight!
The painted red sky swallowed the remaining rays of sunlight
as the dark night brought to the world
a clear view of heaven......
I've been reaching.
Searching for that hidden truth.
Do you love me?
Do you even care?
The cold rain mixes with my warm tears,
as I stand on the street corner where we once met.
Thunder rolls overhead, as people in a parade of colored umbrellas curiously stare through me, wondering what lies within my soul to leave me thoughtlessly defenseless against the pouring rain.
Maybe I just wish to drown here?
To become a martyr of your love.
To be washed away never heard from again.
The thought of you races through my mind trapped,
as my heart breaks.
Contemplating never seeing you again.
Oh! How I just wish to breath your spirit once again.
To touch your heart feeling its passionate beat.
To bow to you in self defeat.
To enter you and become your soul.
Oh! It's just so cold in this pouring rain.
I scream out your name in excruciating pain.
Come back my love!
I need you to survive.
I need you to exist in joyfulness.
I need you; for I cannot survive without love.
And you!....Are all I can ever love.
Standing in a dark forest on a cool spring's night
surrounded by the many tall trees with limbs disfigured,
their long fingers point to the vast heavens and cool earth below
appearing like grotesque creatures from a strange world.
Though they number many
      they seem so alone!
Black star filled sky
     quarter moon
          smile in the sky
              no nose....
                  No eyes for tears to cry
                       like I do everyday......
Lonely orphan I am traveling with the strong wind
     hoping where I may stop
          a loving angel will be there to lend me a helping hand
               to help me through another trying day.
A stare into the distance reveals a small house
     soft yellow light illuminates from its welcoming windows.
I wonder for a brief moment, if an orphan such as I
     traveling with the strong wind, with so little to offer in gratitude
         would be a welcome guest in such a peaceful place?
Setting aside my green cloth bag which contains all I own
    which is so little' but has grown heavier with each long mile
       quickly wearing my shoes paper thin....
I begin to think of mom and dad who have long passed
      their touching memories strongly remain within my
         broken heart....
I Wish my impossible dreams could come true
     if so....How great things would be...
"Mom! Dad! If Heaven only had a phone
      I would call you everyday, so I wouldn't feel so alone!"
I am an orphan child traveling with the strong wind
    seeking a loving home
        to gladly take me in.......
I guess I don't have to explain myself on this, for I experienced a great deal of loneliness in my life. Thing is to always reach out and give support to all in need. Doing good for others can always be self rewarding!
If there is a tear within my eye
    that tear in my eye is for you....
For in my heart I forever long
     for the return of love that's true....
Birds constantly fly
    leave the sky
        dreams will come and go...
If there's a dream I long to dream
      it's the dream
             of one.... I know
                  of you....
Of the warmest night
      star filled sky
          embraced as one in tune
             the warmest breeze sweeps through the trees
                 as their leaves applaud our love in June....
If there's a dream I long to dream
    that dream is one of you...
      The perfect person
          The perfect love
                The love I wish I knew!....
He slowly assembles his rifle on the barren rooftop as the
     wind blows through his light blond hair.
His long overcoat ***** and wraps around his thin long
He places his elbows upon the short wall in front of him,
     firmly kneeling on both knees.
Glancing into the rifle's sight, he focuses sharply through
     its cross hairs; he sees hundreds passing through the sight,
     men, women, children, and as he sees it, a maze
     of mass hysteria.
He thinks of his current desperate situation and with each
     passing thought, his heart pumps more hateful
     adrenaline through his expanding veins.
What am I?....He wonders.
"I am the orphan child too **** to adopt!
I am the spit in the street you step in and curse!
I am the cockroach so many crush beneath their feet!
I wish to love and beloved, for I am ever so lonely,
     so empty.
I wish to give my whole self to someone to make them
     eternally happy!
To sacrifice all I possess, including my life, for the one
     I love,
but I am thoughtlessly branded a stalker!
I am the void in all broken hearts.
As a child, I only wished to be loved and appreciated,
but I was raised the invisible child.
There's a painful sore in my throbbing brain, the lethal
     virus of society'd disdain.
I'm insane!....I'm insane!...Give me peace, God if you exist
     Give me peace!
He glances once again through the sight's cross hairs,
catching sight of a young boy standing alone, mouth wide open
    with tears rolling down his cheeks.
He pauses.....envisioning himself, his blue eyes cloud
     with tears.
He pulls back back his loaded rifle placing it against the
     short wall,
realizing at the moment this wasn't the way to end his
     unbearable pain.
Reaching into his deep overcoat's pocket, his long fingers
     catch grasp of the cool surface of a 9 mm.
Pulling it slowly from his pocket, he raises it to his temple,
slipping his finger upon its tight trigger he whispers once
"God....if you exist,
Give me peace."
To explain this piece, I wrote it over 15 years ago. I was a child who was nearly beaten to death twice by the age of 5 years old. One thing I do remember was at the times I was being beaten, it was almost like I was observing it from outside my body. When I started school I was a skinny, poor, cross eyed kid who went from one beaten to another. I once wrote, that I was like Daniel walking into the lion's den, the kids hopped about me like kangaroos with wolves teeth, punching me, spitting on me, continuously mocking me. I became just a shell of a child and sadly hated myself like all others. Took me years to heal I was quiet, introvert, who couldn't even find a date; but with time, I grew stronger, for I had family that reached out and showed me I was more than a rag doll to to be tossed around. People, called me a saint and a great guy! But in the final summation, it was the bitterness of an unforgiven world and it's cruelty that made me a tortured soul, etched thoughts that bled into my wounded soul. I grew to love my father and I grew to see the good in people. I harbored physical and emotional scars that amazingly never weighed me down and when people spoke of the cruelty I suffered, it was a hind thought. It became someone else, not me. But realize that all people are molded with each day of their lives and that mold can always be molded to be destructive! Faith and openness are great healing tools, for confidence and soul.
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