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5 years ago

A 13 year old girl awoke
Thinking that everything
Was as it always had been
But still, something didn't feel right

5 years ago

The shock of it all
Numbed the 13 year old girl
She walked around in a daze
Everyday was the same

5 years ago

The flowers piled up
The condolences overwhelmed
The 13 year old girl
Just wanted everything to stop

5 years ago

All the problems started
The selfharm; depression
The 13 year old girl
Turned to thoughts of letting go

5 years ago

On exactly this day
I, a 13 year old girl awoke
But everything was not okay
Nothing felt right

5 years later

An 18 year old girl
Grieves the loss of her mother
A 46 year old woman
Who died suddenly

Exactly 5 years ago
I wrote this yesterday in the memory of my mother, Maria Leslie McKay, 07/11/1963 - 06/08/2009
there is nothing more that i can say
i just want it all to stop
each and everyday

i've tried to stay calm
but no matter how hard i try
i'll always go back to self harm

i'm hurting, can't you see?
but no, of course you don't
because it's all inside of me

all of my demons and nightmares
are keeping this pain alive
for me; it's the end, i fear

so at least for today
let's just skip the part
where we pretend that i'm okay.
it doesn't flow as nicely as i'd like but yeah....
 Nov 2014 Dan Heffron
Erenn
Mama warned me countless of times
Never walk alone along the alley at night, "Call me or papa to pick you up"
I took it lightly, thinking it was just another preach-teach
If only I'd listened to her
If only I was stronger

I still walked lightly drunken down that alley that
horrible night,
a pure, broken white lamb limping down the street
just waiting for a black fox of the night to
come enrapture me,
take me away from everything,
as I stood, cold and uncomforted from the night's drunken stupor,
and crying.

As I keep on walking
His voice was still there
In my head screaming,
"You deserved this, shut up!
Wearing like a desperate ****!
Just let me taste you stupid ****!!!"
No matter how i screamed, his immense hands shrouding my mouth tightly.
The more i screamed, the more pain he puts me in.

A couple shoves,
a few bruises,
a yank,
and my silenced whimpers
as he ferociously goes in,
once, twice, too many times.
I'm trapped, heaving...
I should have listened to Mama...

Flashbacks ran through my head
How defiant I am towards my parents
How I always skipped anything physical, always judging girls on how they look.
It's happening to me now
I can do nothing but cry and give in
When he was done, he told me he'll **** my whole family if I tell the police.
I continue walking as my worth fading slowly.

And my fire burned out,
as I stopped struggling,
stopped making any noises,
and just lay still,
as he licked me and caressed me,
he's new found toy,
only to be tossed away later.

As I finally reached my nest,
I couldn't find the words to tell mama.
Not one person, not my boyfriend, not a soul. His face still haunts me every now and then.
He became this demon in my head
That will never go away.
It's been months now,
But this demon got my soul caged
And my lips zipped.
Not a single soul will ever know
The Creep Who Loved You in Italic
And I'm in Bold.
Another collab with the brilliant The Creep Who Loved you
http://hellopoetry.com/el-nuevo-corazon/
This time we bring in the topic of ****.
How they suffered, how they try their best not to tell anyone. It's because of one animal.
You can say, "She deserved that for dressing up like that."
"She asked for it."
"Things happen."
You never really know till it happens to you. It's really simple. If you use force, It's ****.
**** is ****.
There's no other way to it.

— The End —