What went wrong?
At 4:47AM, my thoughts were still pacing in my head. Was it because of the late coffee I consumed?
What the hell went wrong?

I was held in too deep
Life itself has swallowed me
The past, present, and future
Pause. ||

Play |>
There is a certain distance from yesterday’s field of view
What went wrong?
Well, I never knew

I am left without
Without anything in the world
Empty.
Cold.
Alone.
Morose.
Society demands everything from you
The big man expects
I disappoint
The vicious cycle continues.
Often than not we are afflicted
With such comfort and familiarity
It wreaks havoc
Deep within the souls
It misleads
It confuses
It deceives
What could be done?
N O T H I N G
not a single thing
You let it devour you
Making one
Empty.
Cold.
Alone
Morose.
Regrets fill you up
You throw up
Every bit of sanity in your head
Unfinished businesses
Unfinished art
Unfinished letters
And
Unfinished feelings
Words left unsaid
Patches of skin left untouched
Parts of the soul left undiscovered
Part of who you are, lost
Forgotten
You look in the mirror
Not recognizing the reflection
Sometimes
It gets too much
You live
You die
And one day
Time will catch up
With all the space and emptiness
Then you will have reached
Singularity
But stll making you remember
All the pieces that have come undone
You still you
Empty.
Cold.
Alone.
Morose

I have not met you
Yet
I already love you
With all that I have
My heart
My body
My soul
I have everything to give
Every inch of me
All of me
From me to you
I even have frolic dreams of you
Being carelessly free
Into this world I prepare
Until I see your face
And touch your skin
And feel your warmth
All I do is wait
To wait and to love
I am yours
You are mine
But you are you
You can be anybody you'd like
And I'll always be proud
And I'll always be here
From the first day
Until my last
All of me
Will always be with you

Baby, I love you
xoxo

momma

Can we fit the universe inside our head?
The vastness of everything
Overwhelming

We figure out life
How tempting to know it all
Such life to devote every inch of breath

I feel the soul was meant to thrive
infinite
I feel the soul was meant to find its other half

In love, the wagers are on
We sometimes win
We sometimes lose
In the end,
Love has conquered us
Keeping us in awe
of how we smile
of how we weep
of how we try to find it

What dedication we put into
All the efforts
Transcending the suffering of reality in this world
A consciousness

We are one
We are love
We are the children of the universe

Ergo,
We never die

Aren't these enough to keep us all in awe?

It is unacceptable
Death
Entering the void
Losing touch of the world
Losing the people we love
Losing yourself
Losing everything

We articulate art to make us immortal
Poetry has become a conduit for the eternal

We write poetry to escape life and death
It is our desire to be infinite
We must create transcendence

I exist, I matter
Death sometimes is unacceptable
As I cannot fathom the emptiness

The darkness within and without
"All men must die"

But do we really die?
We go somewhere else - a singularity
Of Heaven and purity
Of angels
Of God

To transform pain to happiness
It is our search to nirvana

and in Death we achieve our immortality

I remember how it hurt –
to look at him
to look into those eyes that are looking at somebody else's.

Have you ever felt such pain?
overwhelming
you can feel it in your bones
A sensation that fascinates
How it could numb every part of the body
crippling you to bed,
day in
day out
Screaming in silence

Wonder how I was still able to breathe
how I was still alive
even though I died inside
I had to be dead and gone.
I was done for.

The feeling that no exaggeration could come close
to describe what it was
No words can ever be so comforting.

I wanted him back.
That’s all I cared about.

Caught in the middle of looking back and moving forward.
I was stuck in love.
The past was, for a moment, inviting.

Love is such a gamble, they say.
And I was one of those people
who fell victim to this kind of game.
He was my everything.
WAS
I was inexplicably deep in love with him.  

I remember him saying, “I love you” and I’d answer him back with “I love you more” and we’d keep going at it who loves each other more.

In the end, it was I who won, and it was the saddest victory I ever had.

a hermit once thought*

I will never be remembered.
Never was I special
Never meant for greatness
Always forgotten

However
Feelings of such are no big deal
To a fella like me

Elusive to keen absolution
I'll be
THE
BEST
FORGOTTEN
MEMORY
THAT
THE
WORLD
EVER
DID
SEE