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for once i would like someone
to love me just as much as i love them
for once i would like someone to be all in
what is it like to be chased?
instead of forever chasing
what is it like to be someone's everything?
for once i would like someone
to have a heart as full as mine
for once i want to be on someone's mind
for once i want the path to run both ways
always,
i am the one who loves
from an empty hallway
with nothing to say
besides love me,
love me
love me
love me,
back.
i am the one who loves from an empty hallway
at first glance you looked perfect
now i know you are not
but who the f*ck,
is perfect?
we've all got history we're ashamed of

so let's both be imperfect
imperfectly in love
because even with your flaws
for me,
you are enough

you can judge me on my past
if you want
but i'm making a better future
because the future's all i've got

so you can crucify me
for my past mistakes
or have the grace,
to give me room to change.
the future's all i've got
i am perfect at being imperfect
not so perfect at accepting it
i am perfect at being worth it
not so perfect at embracing it
perhaps there are imperfections in perfection
perhaps my perfection is a transaction
in self compassion
perhaps my perfection is a transaction
pick a side
pick a side
pick a side

like sports teams
like equations
like war

pick a label
pick a gender
pick an orientation

what the hell
do we need sides for?

i'm on the side of acceptance
i'm on the side of love
i'm on the side of no sides

maybe one day that will be enough
she told me to pick a side
 May 2022 Filomena
Zach Hanlon
My my, what a special little snowflake.

Why did you choose to be this way?

You chose to be different, you chose to rebel.
No binary for me!

You chose the grief, the pain.
You chose this abuse, bruised by
the verbal ferociousness, forged by physical fallacies
To be thrown out of bathrooms
because doing your business in the bathroom is abysmal.
You chose to be derided by decisive discrimination.
You chose to be murdered by misconceptions,
***** by ridiculous requirements.
You chose to be beaten, assaulted.
You chose the words I weave to weaken your will.
You chose the sacred sermons I spit at you.

You chose to be
What I find disgusting, despicable
because you chose to be what you aren't,
but I realize what I really regard you to be.

My my, what a special little bigot.

You think I chose to be this way?

You think
I chose the injuring, injustice,
the jester, the joke
the target, tortured,
This pain, my poison,
the prey, praying,
the sinner of sins so bittersweet,
So I could be "special"?

Special isn't a sacrifice of physical self
Nor the gunshots and gruesome grief
Nor even the crass comfort of a half-assed comrade.
You think I CHOSE this,
and you didn't choose
to spit and spew your sour speeches
to disperse your disgust in discrimination
to integrate your ignorance into my existence.
Or did you not choose
to deal the abuse
by your hand
yourself?

My special little bigot,
You live as you are.

So be it, if I am so "special", the special little snowflake.
Yes, we are the little snowflakes that your palm's presence melts away,
And you're that burning persistence of life
Blocking with your own self our slow, wistful descent,
As if it were futility and not of your own will.

If I am the snowflake, you are the fire.
 May 2022 Filomena
1923
be radical
 May 2022 Filomena
1923
pitted against one another
to avoid the bigger picture
the daily monotony, the grind
until we have made enough money
to survive the world
was built to make us so hard

that being soft is radical
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