It isn't about what I want.
But what I need.
To set me free.
To spark a fire.
What I need.
Is you.
You, and all the crazy you can bring.
Sometimes we all need that girl.
Who is a shot of whisky at 2am.
Who is unrestricted by being politically correct.
Who is just as afraid as you.
But is too proud to show it.
Sometimes we all need that girl.
Even if it is just to show us that we are still alive, and capable.
Of living, and of loving.

I always fall for a kiss.

Like it is some hidden bliss.

That I'll never miss.

I walk around as a hollow vessel.
Listening to the whispers around me.
The trees they speak of such devilish deeds, you would think I was sprawled out in the basement of a mausoleum.
And as they boil the blood in my body, with talks of loathing, and self pity.
I see we are the apocalypse that other writers once feared.
We are the generation of hate, when we should be the generation of love.
My darlings, you say to love is not enough, so I walked over to the closest tree and poured from my already diminishing canteen.
And you should have seen the way it flourished, but it only craved more.
So yet I am left here to walk.
A hollow vessel.
Without the necessary things I need to survive.
I will soon be nothing more then food for the trees.

As I stared through cheap sunglasses, looking at your porcelain seeing the reflection of my hazy eyes and the masses and the lies.
I see what's left of your body and it HAUNTS me!
It doesn't let me go because I won't let you go.
You broke me and ways no one will ever break me.
you took me to places no one will ever take me.
Now, you're a princess in the clouds.
I'm the court jester left on these hallowed grounds.
You're my angel next to the bed where I lay my head.
And as drown my sorrows in all these bottles
Filled with nothing but yesterday's hopeful tomorrows.
I realize.
I can't keep this life this way.
It pulls and it tugs against everything that I've ever known.
And everything that I want let go.

I'm learning to put down the Whisky.
And put down all the things that keep me down.
Like the pills.
And the hopes that you'll someday return.
I'm learning not to be so broke down that I break down.
At the sound of every thunderstorm.
I'm learning that this is not the Me that you want me to be.
But this is the Me that I want.
And let me tell you, that me is a selfish *******.