At fourteen, I didn't deserve to be in this way of being. Eyebags 4 years young and a newly broken heart, stubborn for loving the wrong person over and over. That is one of the stories I have under the crease on my face I'll have when I'm 93 and dying. If only I lasted till then for my smoke filled lungs are turning old and my throat is constantly burning. The etching thought of you still in my head none of which anything could take away but thank god for dying into new at 14 because now I don't love you as much as I did and maybe this is God's way of saying I'll be okay. But what do I know about all these *******,I'm 14 anyways

I walked through the evening bustle at the market and that was when I saw a woman. The only thing making her stand out from the rest is the glow of calling surrounding her. Skin caved in and I knew for all the lines on her body creates the story of the way her heart got broken at 14. The terrible things she did and 4am yells to god to forgive her. She begs for his mercy and help. God bless her now 76 years later lays a smile on her face though skin carrying the emotions she had and will have in her life.

Loving somebody is such a weird thing
You can have such a burning passion for them
But the next moment you can hate their guts
First loves
First love
You are the one I will never forget
They say love cannot be gotten over
Well **** that
You are going to have many first loves
You are going to love the next person more than the first
You will fall in love with people
One day
You'd be at your deathbed thinking
First love were you my first love
When you look at your lover in the eyes
And think
I didn't know I could have loved someone
I didn't know I could even love anymore

I tend to sit still alone in my room
Certain nights
The feeling of being unloved comes to me
Am I really not loved by anybody
I take strolls in the middle of the night
Who cares when I'm gone
What am I really doing?
I take steps out of my body
I travel to a different part of my body
I try to embrace it
Maybe it is something worth loving
Maybe I am worth loving

It's weird how I probably had written a thousand poems
About one guy and it made me really grow and learn a lot of things
I guess and it also taught me I could love someone so much
And I should start to love myself

I didn't deserve it
The 4 am nights alone in bed
Inhale
Exhale
It was always the same
I couldn't breathe
I was sinking and sinking
I didn't know the ocean what bottomless till I met you
I didn't know that I could love someone so much for so long
I didn't know I could love
But now I know
I was just so ******* wrong

Loneliness
Do you really know the meaning of it?
I know how it feels to feel lonely in a group of people
That ******* cliché definition
But don't for once ******* say you know how it feels
Because I know how it feels
To be stuck on the bathroom floor
No one to even call in to check up on me
No one to feel loved by
Not knowing there is someone
Waiting for me in 4 months
Don't ever for once think that that is a short time
A day was enough to set me off
4 months left me dead
With the memories of dark times
I will never forget
Times like those ******* make me grateful
Appreciative for the ones who even want to go out with me
The tiny acts
So don't ******* think for once that you know how it ever felt
To be truly ******* lonely
To know that no one cared