Every once in while my mind is consumed of thoughts of you.
I often think of different scenarios of what to do.
I could've call the police or drove a little faster.
But no matter my choice, this time it ended in disaster.
But the past is the past and there is no going back.
And even if I wanted to I couldn't pick up the slack.
Because if was your life and your decision.
This choice however needed some revision.
I don't think you realized suicide wasn't the answer.
And now those you love are beginning a new chapter.
Without you.

The kids who have pencil sharpeners that can no longer sharpen
who use lighters but dont smoke
Who wear makeup on their arms instead of their face
who's eyes are red from crying, not getting high
Heres to the kids who are broken
Not because they deserve it
But because life is a gamble
A game
And they lost

As the weather changes
I begin to start anew
I have become so much greater
There are things that I still have
Left from the old
But they are now mixed with the new

I have moved on
You are no longer my greatest desire
You stopped trying
So I did the same
In the end it will be better
But for now,
I still feel a twinge in my heart
When our eyes meet

I have found something new
Something wonderful
Though it could never be quite the same
It will be close
My heart can still be filled.

Not with the gold of your hair
Or the cheer of optimism
But by the dark black of a midnight rose
That will only bloom for me.
One without thorns that will stab me
When all I want to do is hold you.

The petals will not wither
Or fall like tears upon my cheek
To be blown away
And leave forever.

She will be different
She will care
She will not leave me in pain
She will not break my heart and soul
To leave me with nothing.

1 became 10
And 10 became 20
Then 20 slowly grew to 100
They multiplied until they consumed not only my flesh
But my soul