Still waiting,
like a bird with broken wings,
waiting for the breeze to carry me beyond.
But I am still stuck in here,
a place far north to my heart,
where emotions dwell with a lookout,
where my soul might be a tenant but never the master.
In my void of thoughts, everything is a slave to Fear.

It now rules my emotions that I finally have someone to lose.
The demons from my past often knock,
but they just don’t seem to make through.
Those demons seem so minuscule in front of the fears that now lives in me.
Now my tears roll down very easily,
do my tears signify that I am losing to my fears?
Or Have I lost the will to hide them anymore?
The feeling that you might be holding someone too close,
and once that person lets you go,
your reality may be torn between your questions,
questions to yourself, and questioning yourself.
The fear that what you might need is too much
or maybe what you did was too little.
The feeling of letting go and setting free seems to be different.
they are more powerful than mere words.
Every silence to my goodbyes.
Every distance to my differences.
My fears are growing,
Cause I have seen this happen,
I have lived through this ordeal a million times.
I don’t want to be lost again
running around nameless,
fear of not belonging to my emotion,
fear of not having someone to share my tears with,
fear that I won’t hear a smile,
fear that all this was just an empty promise,
fear that I might be abandoned by the ones I held close.

Now that they have grown beyond my arms,
not the smiles but the scars would remind them of me.
The fear is taking shape,
he seems to be in vibrant
shades of my doubts and insolence.
perched on my shoulder,
whispering to me,
“You never meant anything to those whom you called yours.”

Still when I might be too occupied to write,
I know my thought fuelled by fear,
are the scariest places to dwell.

For me your silences
will always echo louder than your words, they commute in language I cannot speak, they express some emotions I cannot precieve.

From times when I used to see you
walk past me in corridors,
to all the adventures with you aboard.
From the fun, we had in the hallways,
to the shenanigans in the dorms.
2nd bench shallow dreaming,
To the ice cream breaks under the Sun with you.
From the ****** wardens to cigarette butts,
we went through all, me and you.

I still want to jam to those old classics with you,
Hoping to see you again in your blue night suit,
remembering our handprints on your wall.
All those fights, all those tears accord,
the period of my life I will always adore.
Blessed to have found the greatest friend in you,
Don’t forget our celebrations are due.
And yes, I LOVE YOU TOO.

Broken into a million pieces,
living in this fear to break into a million more,
Making sure to tread with caution,
making sure I don't scream when I step on the thorns,
making sure I couldn't recall the last time I felt pain and mourned.
But someone felt my void inside,
Someone taught me there are no mistakes that cannot be healed
She taught me “healing exists to connect and not to perfect beings”.

I have found someone that makes me adore these fragments in me.
She is an alchemist working with gold,
healing those imperfections,
not hiding them in deep,
shaping them with trust,
molding them to fit back in,
trying to restore me with her palms,
blessing her magic on me
with that sacred art of Kintsugi.

Now the healed scars are in the shape of roses and daffodils,
now the vulnerabilities look gorgeous in me.
Her love is bridging my broken pieces,
now those lost and empty pieces are looking vivid.
Kissing those palms which made me believe,
breathing under her serenity,
now I felt peace in my reality.

Every imperfection seems unique to me.
Fragility, strength, and beauty,
now seem almost synonymous to one another.
To the one who rooted this resilience in me,
you mean the world to me.

Often when your emotions run rampant,
I feel your heat rushing
your hands in ecstasy uncontrollable,
trying to decipher my heartbeat,
searching for my lost pieces in yourself.
Trying to fix my broken reality,
looking for that missing piece of puzzle.

Someday you might stop and realise,
the last piece is finally in place,
now the puzzle seems vivid and complete.
Then you might realise,
through you I found those missing pieces,
through your love I have discovered me.

When in a Combat to death,
only one realises the true potential of human drive,
the ecstasy of dripping blood,
the transcendence to feel the last of a beating heart,
to feel the end of a soul in terror.

The two lives in question,
are placed on the same pedestal of reality
until one realises their potential to play God.
The momentum of giving a life seems to fade
in comparison to allowing one.

The one that experiences the last breath,
the being that fathoms he can grant an end,
is the only one that realises the inability of God over Death.