my heart
it does not beat
like normal hearts do,
but i know for sure
that this peculiar heart of mine
beats just for you.

51 hours, 6 minutes
It's only you I can think of

51 hours, 6 minutes
I'm waiting for you to notice me

51 hours, 6 minutes
I want to keep waiting
but it is just so tiring

51 hours, 6 minutes
I'm sad
I'm disappointed
I'm jealous
I'm tired
but I still love you
and I'll keep on waiting

I write...
...because I have no one to play along with when I was young
...because I'm too skinny to play sports when I was on grade school
...because my grandmother gave me a pen and a paper as a birthday gift
...because I want to impress the girl next door
...because I got very ill I need to stay indoors for a whole month
...because I don't want to forget
...because I got my heart broken
...because I miss her a lot
...because there's a lot of things running on my mind
...because my mom loves my poems
...because I'm happy
...because I failed my major subject
...because I'm too bored
...because I got accepted for a job
...to explore all the things I'm afraid of.
...to convey the words I ******* say.
...to help others understand me, to help me understand me.

And I will keep on writing

I'm jealous of the way
you care for others
yet you can't even ask how my day was

I'm jealous of the way
you make time for others
yet you ignore me all the time

I'm jealous of the way
you smile at the littlest thing they do
yet you disregard all my efforts

I'm jealous
that you can be happy without me
yet my heart is shattering
at the thought of not being with you

I'm sad
I'm disappointed
I'm jealous
but I still love you
Always have, always will

If ever we leave this moment
Please remember all the good times
Days filled with laughters
With two hearts beating the same rhythm

If ever we look back
Please forget about the bad times
The petty fights and silent treatments
Where everything is taken for granted

If ever we change
Please promise not to forget us
The “us”, who faced life’s twists
The “us”, who overcame the same

If ever our fate cross again
Please let's reminisce together
Those days made all seemed better
Even when we ignore each other

If ever there’s another chance
Please let’s make new memories
No hesitation, no guilt
This time, no goodbye