playground of feathers
upon heavens blue blanket
winds whisper to them

I do not think much of the desert,
How mountains shift and shake every night,
The way the dunes roll mighty,
How they whisper away with the winds,
I do not think much of the desert,
I've read stories of a forgotten oasis,
Nestled somewhere in the shifting sands,
Like an ocean, only smaller,
I am shrinking too,
Here there is a desert,
One too big for my arms to hold,
Because here I grow smaller every night,
And my bones shift and shake with every breath

I keep forgetting to remember the things I've reminded myself to forget.
Pump my head full of helium and fill my body up with lead.
I got yelled at by the driver of a car that almost hit me today.
I said, "You'd be doing me a favor!" as I walked away.

I keep finishing at the start and beginning with the end.
Earlier tonight, I made an emo playlist for my favorite ****** friend.
If only we could pool our feelings together and then . . .
****, I forget.

All bills have been paid, and all the letters have been sent.
Somehow, we're still falling deeper into debt.
I poured my heart out to an apathetic page
and yet, we're only getting paid for what we'd rather forget.

I keep making sour faces at the sweetest scenes I see.
I've been waking up early just to get there late.
I'm having trouble doubting things I've never believed.
I keep getting angry at people I long ago forgave.
Will they ever forgive me?
Have they already?

I forget.

Watch how quickly it spreads
Already it took the flower beds
It runs rapid
Building in the breeze
Taking down tree after tree
Destroying everything
Separating bees from there wings
An feathers from birds
Somethings just can't escape these flames
The Forrest seems to scream
Cracking of wood
Meeting the ground
Crackling leafs
The whipping of fire
The intensified heat leaves everything  charred
Ashes rain from above
And as I flee the scene
I abandoned the book of matches I brought with me

~

Jagged formations
Barefoot on this narrow ledge
Thorned barriers rip flesh
Tattered jeans and ***** tee
Staring out over it all
Cold breezes prevail

Clouded visions cry
in cryptic raindrops (falling)

Pain settles thoughts
Enlightening as it is
Seeping slowly into gasping pores
Shattered dreams
Stone faced and worn
Upon bleeding knees

I hear the voices in echoes
chanting in metronome directions

One step forward
Draining that last ounce
Wrenching muscles
Past tense, present tense decisions
Chipped in granite pieces
Scattered along this last call

Pleading to fly, arms outstretched
as what was small quickly becomes larger

Roaring winds pass
Deafening cries of fractured wishes
Spinning out of control
Final moments bring light
Dark as any place
Where I shall end

In that flash leading in I see you
*and ask silently if this is what you wanted

Thoughts of her fit like a coffin
In all the bad ways.
Midnight eyes with stars and galaxies gaze
Fixed
They never change
And the ending still remains
She fades
From memories
And the last twelve days
Turn to the last twelve months.
That was when I realized that nothing would ever last
And she sat at the end of my kitchen table
Yellow sun dress pooling
A beam of light in a lonely room full of people
My lungs collapsing
Tongue failing
Words half formed falling forth
Between us
And she smiled.
I was nervous.
She was stunning,
Sitting patiently under my camera lens as I took several more pictures
And now I can only see her in my dreams.
Dark hair and darker eyes
Tired and smiling
Voice singing sweet lullabies
To voices in my head that seem to never sleep
Next in line
Like pills you can't wait to take
Another false reality
And I'm wishing she'd leave my head
Because she fits my mind like a coffin
In all the bad ways

She's becoming numb to him
She use to feel comfort in there kiss
Now she can't feel the texture of his lips
It's like he's not there
Like she's kissing air
She loved his voice
But now it's like he's horsed
Somewhere along the line she lost him
When she looks his way
Her gaze he doesn't meet
Because he too has become numb
He use to run his fingers through her hair
The feeling of it set him free
Like he was touching a cloud
But now a storm has set in
He loved her hugs
But now it feels like he's touching a hollow shell
And when he does look in her eyes
Love is not there
Only a blank stare
He was her reflection and she was his
But now it's only transparency
They look through each other
She's out on the porch giving her life to a little white stick
Blowing smoke in the air
Using her fingers to draw images in it
And he sits in what use to be her favorite chair
Staring at a muted tv screen
He found peace in the quiet
But when they slept
They dreamed of of each other
Every morning the woke next to each other
And somewhere sat hope
Trying to build a bridge
To mend the gap the swept between them
And bring them back together
Hoping there's still time
To fix what's broken