When it's all said and done
When it rolls around next
Think I'll make a run
For president

From the fiasco I've seen
From Trump and Hillary
They both made it look
Rather easy

I'll promise them this
While giving them that
And never admit
When I leave out the facts

I'll wear an American flag pin
So I'm not penned communist
While promising that
And giving them this

I'll scream at some
At the top of my lungs
And when asked of my past
I'll play it dumb

I will promise to free
Those in poverty
If they would just kindly
Give a donation to me

I will shake all the babies
And kiss a few hands
Wait...can I have a do over
On what I just said?

I will kiss all the babies
And shake a few hands
There...that's more like it
**** you auto correct!

I'll promise it all
Without skipping a beat
The straights will say Yay
While the gays dance in the street

I'll perfect the one liners
Like, it's the economy stupid
Then ship jobs to China
When no one is looking

When asked what I've done
I'll avoid the question
Until eyes start to glaze
And boredom sets in

I'll go to war
If one need be fought
Or take out a loan
If peace can be bought

So in another four years
When all this goes bad
The run for president
I'll throw in my hat

Cause if it can be done
By Hillary or Trump
Then it can be done
By most anyone

I'm thinking of the 70's
And how it'd really be a hoot
To bring that one thing back
That we all secretly would love to do

No I'm not talking discotheques
Or the donning of leisure suits
I'm talking about stripping down
To nothing but our tennis shoes

We could start out in the mall
Since that's were most of us hang out
Amid all the teenage screams
Between all the incredulous shouts

With security running here and there
In a tizzy there about
If they have the nerve to catch us
No way are they going to pat us down

We might even get our 15 minutes
As news camera closely chase us
Blurring out our naked bodies
Leaving only happy faces

Spending most the time in edit
As we bend to tie our laces
So grab your canes and grab your walkers
And we'll head off to the races

Of course that is a major problem
Barely spry no longer young
With the drooping of most everything
Being issue number one

And seeing most of you in your birthday suits
Doesn't sound like that much fun
And how in the world can we call it streaking
When it'll be more like hobbling

Her Father's old wool jacket,
from Johnson Mills,
in creamy white,
dark forest green,
golden amber,
in a lovely patchwork,

A soft dark winter tuke on her head,
that dark green in the background,
with rusty speckles on her cheeks,

Wet snow falls silent,
the sky is a crisp Winter blue,
the air is cold and clear,
& intoxicatingly clean,

As she breathes life in and out,
then,
looking down at her black Sorel boots
and her worn black denim jeans,
a nice old holey wool sweater,
and a maul,

A **** lumberjack?
Maybe...

Dressed to hack the wood,
the plumber thinks so,
he stops by,
a friend of hers,
sorta,

Huh?

Not invited,
but no one is around here,
we all do it,
so he helps too,

Hey I'll make lunch,
harmless flirting,
I suppose,

Because,
wood warms you 3 times they say,

Once to chop it,
two to stack it RIGHT,
three to bring it in & burn it,

But if you count the starting of the,
cantankerous chainsaw & the guy,
helping you,

And you hafta arrange & rearrange, everything,
cleaning the flue and chimney,
I'd say a few more than that,
& don't ferget to pay the man,
the cantankerous one,

Yeah he got lunch too,
and about them ashes,
could be pretty hot,
take 'em out regular,
that stove cranking too,
OUCH,

She ends up gets burned,
a few times each year,

Taday,
she's on step too,
as she picks up the heavy maul,
not to heavy for this gal,
all the way back,
watch yourself,

As a neighbor winches,
a woman chopping wood?

Yup.
That's right,
a way of life,
for her,
always has been,
poised and ready,
swing and smack,
if you hit it right,
you hear a crack,

Just like a baseball bat,
hitting a homer,

Big pieces,
are made more manageable,
when you don't try to control the force,
when you let the sharpened maul,

Do all the work,
for you.
Cherie Nolan © 2016

On the ticket for mayor of Sarnia,
Was a sixties bloke, one Wills Rawana;
But the anti-*** vote,
With good conscience can't support,
A politico called Mayor Rawana.

I no longer watch
The Tonight Show,
Can't stand his auto *******:
He Loves them all,
They're Fantasatic and Great,
They're all The Best;
And on his A List!
But let's be serious,
They're just entertainers.

His Pros and Cons
Are so predictable,
The Superlatives
Are quite despicable.

I miss Mike and Merv and Phil
(Not Dr. Phil... he's a pill),
And Geraldo and Jerry,
Like Heckle and Jeckle,
Gave us our daytime fill.
Sally and Montel did well,
Like Ricki, **** and Arsenio,
Carson, Dave and Jay Leno.
They surpassed the late night swill
Of Jimmy's mono-drivel.

The things some do
When they're alone,
Would melt the marrow
In your bones.

Some scratch their ***
With such vigor,
Sink to their knuckles
Up their nose,
**** themselves
In *****-hose,
Find their stash,
Find their liquor,
Get high alone,
And that's good for some.

Oh, the things some do
When they're alone.

They scrape the goo
From their eyes
In the afternoon;
Hork out phlegm
In the kitchen sink,
**** loudly,
And not think it stinks.
They pop a pimple on the mirror,
Do nasty things
(I won't say liver).

Oh, the things some do
When they're alone.

They'll surf the net
For *******
In HD or photography.
They'll roll gobs of wax
From both their ears,
Run naked up and down the stairs.
Landscape private body hairs,
And like a monkey, smell their nails.

Oh, the things some do
When they're alone.

Some deficate in the shower,
******* until they holler,
Then spark a doob,
Check out the mirror,
Then cogitate on tomorrow.

Oh, the things some do
When they're alone,
It's good they're done
Alone at home.

The one handed thief ran out of the bank and jumped into the getaway car only to realize it was a four on the floor with stick shift .

Three words can make me feel quite grand
Or can fill me with dismay,
I really hope you understand,
I don't always feel that way.

Three words can make the difference,
Oh, I really wish you knew!
They always hold significance,
But they're not easy to do.

Three words! Three words! Stuck on repeat!
I don't know how to reply!
I want to run away, retreat,
Or curl up, cave in, and cry!

Three words I meet with every day
(I'm fairly sure you know 'em!),
I still never know what to say,
When I read; "Add a poem".