I love the spring
Watching Robins nesting and rearing young in my garden Shed
Also I watch the crows nesting in the trees outside my bedroom windows
Baby rabbits basking in the warm sunshine with watchful mothers grazing nearby in the field next to the house
Blossom on the trees and green new leaves looking so pretty against the sky
Daffodils, Tulips, and Bluebells making a beautiful carpet in the gardens and surrounding woodlands
Time to plant tomatoes, Beans and potatoes and all awhile the chattering of the Magpies waiting and watching to see what they can steal
They are so naughty digging up and taking the seed
Busy pecking at the fresh young shoots for more than they need
Crisp dry days and. some rainy ones all helping things to grow new life
I'm greedy to see all these things
Yes I love the spring

All of my life, too late
Till you showed up with perfect timing
Stars are shining
Flames are igniting
Let's get giddy
There's no way out of this hangover
When your eyes got me woozy i was sober
I can see that fervour in your eyes
Is it true that you love me?
I dare you to kiss me
with everyone watching
I dare you to touch me.
Let's do it again
It's truth or dare on the dance floor.

The streetlight is shaped like a lantern
And its golden light spills out in a clear, spoked pattern of darkness and illumination
Its shadows stretch long
And reach their fingers into your empty windows.
If I stand at its base, I stand at the center of a great perfect wheel of light that sprays in all directions.
I speak to you
Because you speak to me.
I wonder
If you recognize the surgical mask swinging from my arm
Soft and white.
They tell me your walls breathe poison
They tell me
That I shouldn't.
I stand and whisper to you
Who I am
Who I have been.
Perhaps the shade of a girl like me
Peers out your yawning windows
Through the spaces where the glass has been punched out
Past the ragged, yellowed curtains that sag limply from above
Out
From between the leafless ivy that twists its gnarled strands up your crumbling skin and digs into all your weaknesses.
Perhaps if I had shown myself a bit earlier
If my life had begun before it did
Perhaps we would have met in a different way.
It makes me sad that I fear you.
Your stone steps, carpeted with dead leaves, black metal railings leaning drunkenly to either side.
Your unnatural stillness.
But I do not fear to walk your halls
Not like the others.
No,
I do not fear you
I fear to become you.
That still
And that lifeless
Like a tree which has long since died and the core rotted
But the husk remains standing
As if it contains something alive.
Are you lonely?
Are you still afraid?
What does it feel like every night
When this streetlight above me blinks on
And peeks inside your high windows?
Do you rush to shut the drapes
Soggy and transparent as they are
Try to pull some tattered protection over the garish
Harsh emptiness you hold?
I stand here
And I feel you looking back at me
And I am sorry that nothing lives in you
And I am afraid that nothing lives
In me.
And if I were to go upstairs and peer out your top windows
I am afraid I would become see through
Like a strip of film
Illuminated.
I fear that I would be a projection on a solid world
And I fear
That somebody
Would turn out
The light.

A second or maybe a minute
She took you from me
A half hour
An hour or two
Was all it took for her to take you

After the rain, I see the daisies,
In their clean, white dresses,
Fresh and perfect.
Washed and bright,
Their faces lifted to the skies,
And open to the sun.

Is it their youth that makes them so fearless,
Despite their diminutive size?
A naivety of spirit or
Lack of worldly knowledge?
Or do their fleeting, precarious lives
Lead them to so embrace the now?

No, their beauty springs from a truth far older,
For they are neither flashy nor flamboyant.
A daisy knows no subterfuge,
Has no jealousies, no conceit.
Its wisdom lies deeper,
And it bends with the wind.

To value the time that we have,
To see beauty in the smallest places,
And to love without fear,
Is a talent easily lost,
And the line between happy and sad is drawn
With a thin pencil and a light touch.

In miniature perfection,
A daisy lives fully,
Its face in the sunlight.
It lives, and that is enough.

Vicki Watson © 2014

Gazing down at me
In starry eyed brilliance
The apex of your pleasure
Reached with sweated brow
Clenched teeth and moans
Energy released leaves love's scent
Heady. Hazed. Humming.
My body curls into yours
As worked out lungs catch up
To our finish line

I am stuck in a long hallway
Of mirrors
Each one shows something new
And unfamiliar
I can't even tell
Which one is me
Because I have expectations
But I can't see reality
I wish I could just perform
A vanishing act
Because I can't stand
The image that reflects
I am done with seeing
Elongated arms and chubby legs
And that twisted symphony
Repeating in my head
The number on the scale
Can never get too small    
Cause the mirror looks the same
When I leave the bathroom stall
Always something different
I just wish there was consistency
Because these carnival mirrors
Have got me hating all of me

Splintered memories of you
fracture into cracks of scattered longing.
Nothing will repair the broken view
a skewed by time.
Nothing returns to perfection.
The way you smiled, your brown eyes
the way your hair fell
flopped in your eyes.
Eyes that, if they saw me
they lied and shied away.

Why is it,
amongst the cosmos,
the dying stars,
the consuming black holes,
and the never ending galaxies,
I sit here alone,
and think and think.
Of you and you alone:
one person amongst
it all.

you look like
you'd like
me
believe me,
I know my place.
paint my face
look behind me
just in case
play the part
Strange;
smart
side salad and a heart
deviate
secret date
guess again
**** and then
never sorry
friends worry
deeper
still a keeper
drinking pace
pointless race
sleep and then
burrow again
private head case
busy saving face
I'll have a whiskey and soda, thanks.

I remember once
My cousin called me an inspiration
He cuts
Or used to at least...
He couldn't deal with the pain
Didn't know how i could handle all of mine
Truth is
I couldnt.

He said i was amazing
For going through everything i did
And how i didn't even break down
Become a cutter,
Suicidal

He said i was strong
For standing high
In the midst of things
And how they were all proud of me
And how he wished
He could be
A bit like me

I guess that
*******
Happiness
Facade
D id the trick,

Fooled everyone.

Not me.
                                                                      
Only I remember
The timeless hours spent
Crying in bed
Mad at the world
With the world mad
Right back at me
Wishing i was gone
Not knowing
What the ****
To do with my pity *** self

Guess i pulled through
Good enough to
Satisfy the rest

Scientists in laboratories
     playing with the quark,
accelerating particles
   beyond the speed of light,
searching for the digit
   at the end of things like 3.14159.

Clergymen in tabernacles
   orating ancient prayers,
reading ancient scripture
   to gathered fallen souls,
searching for the deity,
   for Jesus Christ, for God.

Isolated in my room
   with nothing but a notebook
and a restless scribbling pen,
   searching myself for myself.