Little white pill, oh little white lie
You help me feel nothing
I reach for the sky
Numb and amazing, how happy am I

No more lies, tell me the truth
Wicked little pill has been so abused
Or is it me,I'm the one that's been so abused

You told me a lie
How happy WAS I
You were just using me
Or was it me using you
So much confusion
My life is now doomed.

Our lady now gone
She's taken her leave

No tricks now
Nothing up the sleeve

I feel a great heartache
But now it's alright

She's a survivor
She's gonna be fine

Given a task
I know she'll complete it

This isn't the end
But just the beginning

I feel partly alive
But mostly feel dead

Wish that that bullet
Didn't just graze my head

I stick me with needles
I snort up my nose

That's when I don't know
Where my mind really goes

At least it's not here
But somewhere at peace

I know that place
Is waiting for me

I'll be there soon
I try not to dwell

But the outlook for me
Does not look that well

Keep your eyes closed, we are blind tonight
You can sit on the floorboards,
where I've bled,
naked and dark with me.

"Where are you from?

"Me?"

"Yeah. Where are you from?"

"I'm not really sure. Somewhere. Where are you from?"

"Here. Well, I was born here. I don't want to be from here, though."

"Where would you rather be from if you don't want to be from here?"

"I don't know. Anywhere but, really. Maybe Alaska."

"Why Alaska?"

"Well, I don't know. I'm not sure. Well, you see, they have a month of darkness every year. Just complete darkness. Some people think it's miserable. I think I'd like it, though. That way everyone could be just as invisible as me, even if for only a month out of the year."

Do your parents love you?
Are you religious?
Do you love everyone except yourself?
Are people nice to you?

Swim into me, swivel in the air
your eyes are penchant stares
Try all you can,
let everything and everyone caress you
Let the cold wind blow
and the warm wind undress you.

"Do you know what you did wrong?"

"What I did wrong?"

"Yeah. What you did ******* wrong."

"I-I...I'm not sure."

"You have to be ******* kidding me."

"I tried my be-"

"Shut the **** up. Shut. The. ****. Up. If you want to be something, if you want to get ahead in life, then you can't rely on me, your mother, your friends, or anyone except you. You have to know that every decision is your own, and every consequence that comes along with each decision, is your own to handle. No one will help you, and no one needs to help you because it's not their responsibility. You handle your own ****, and you do better than your best. Perfection. If you aren't perfect, then you aren't anything."

Birds and flies swivel around my head
you sit under a tree with thorns in your hair
I say, "Hi."
You say, "Hi."
I sit next to you, and you don't get up.
You smile and say, "Where have you been?"

And death shall have no dominion?
Is that so much a hope rather than opinion?
Under the windings of the sea?
And if no air breezes by, for you and me?
And if the resolution of my lack of evolution keeps me free?
Is there any hope in harmony. Is there any hope in harmony.
Is there any hope in harmony. Is there any hope in being me.

"Dreams are dangerous, Josh. They're sedatives, not cures. Choose reality. Choose the bitter pill. Because whether you believe it or not, you will end up having it whether you're forced to take it or whether you choose to take it. No matter how much talent you think you have, no matter how much stubbornness that you mistake for ambition, you will be unable to attain your dreams."

"What if you're wrong?"

"What if I'm wrong? Well, let's see-"

"No. What if you're wrong? What if you say all this because of your personal experience. What if you believe all of that because your belief in yourself was stripped by those before you? You could have done something bigger, but you gave up on yourself. You could have been someone. You could have been happy, instead of what you are now. Don't take away the only thing I have just because you have nothing."


Fear is a deadly thing to bear witness to
The hollow spot in the wall,
the eyes staring at a coffee mug,
the words, "I promise."

Tear apart an inverted heart,
and disappear into reverse midnight
All alone with a telephone,
"You're still there, right?"
Dial-tone silence followed by
fist to wall violence
and to sit alone in a bathtub
crying
is a new form of living yet
dying

I can hear violins amidst the violence
And I can see your eyes in the dark
There will be hands shaking
To you, for without, every burn
that's been allowed,
a night to relieve
your weary mind from unkind
lovers, mothers, fathers, brothers
and a hope that you retrieve
yourself in the debris


"Why do you care so much?"

"Why do I care?"

"A better question would be: Why do you care about people so much?"

"Because there's more beauty than desolation in humanity, or at least I choose to believe so."


Sunset sonata
*** in empty beds, in empty heads
Our sweat is a stranger, just like you
and just like me
*** is like society
And we're so focused on ******* each other
no matter how badly it ******* hurts us in the process

DEMONS
DEMONS
I feel like I can hear them
but they are not whispering.
the screams are peircing my ears during the middle of the stone cold night.
their faces are horrific
but they have pretty smiles.
theyre quite big, yet they walk for miles.
I know they walk because im followed everywhere I go.
I act like theyre not there and play pretend.
the funny thing is I used to call these demons friends.

arms around my ankles
dragging me further down
you never show me mercy
only watch me drown
and now I have been trying
to climb and crawl back out
but you keep filling my mind
with horrible thoughts and doubt

We know its coming from
the day we are born, the
sleep we never wake from
never to see that new dawn.

We sleep so long, the moments
with eyes closed in readiness
for that faithful day, we waste
are waking moments rushing
to that end that comes to everyone
naturally.

The sleep is coming early for
some short were there days,
before there big sleep comes, it
will happen in many different
ways, but one and all life is
short, shorter for some. We
must live our lives, for when
the big sleep comes have you
done that was meant to be done.

She has sewn with love
patches on my heart,
covered those holes made
by others in my past.

She was gentle, dabbing
it with kindness, removing
the shrapnel of betrayal
that had put so many
holes with in my heart.

She sewed it with a needle
of love, she put feelings
in the patches that soothed
the rough parts so the
patches laid soft.  

She had been gentle from
the start, to patch up the
holes from my past. She
had left a patch work patten
on my heart, for now love
could enter ,this was no
longer a heart with holes
but a patch work design
that was sewn with love.

Are lives are like follow the
dots, like painted by numbers,
are whole life are world is nearly
always selected out. We don't pick
what we want, its connected from
birth, where we live to what are
parents have done, dots connected
from number one.

Our lives are colored in this color
for our never changing life, mapped
out for what we want, but is there
away to make a change. To not
connect the dots to color are live a
different way.

How about instead of dot one to two
we connect randomly make life
different from what other want it
to be. we color by thought not by
numbers thought by others who
want are to turn out color are life
instead with fun.

We must paint our lives the way we
wish it to be, not  to be connected
as others see, we are our own person
where it was Grey bright Red with
a dash of Green, instead of a sheep
of dots, lets just have a picture made
the way we want it to be not drawn
by other live how we want to be.

We moan all week, five days
of working no rest and play,
but that 48 hours come and
what do most do sit on there
*** the clock ticks down time
slips away. That morning is
coming again, we wake up
ready for work  where has
the time gone how did are
weekend slip away.

It slipped through your grasp
things that could have been done,
but instead you slept through
the day, come on wake up ya ***.

You waste the day watching soaps,
it sunny out there why you not
outdoors, you need some fun and
exercise to give you some energy,
but you stay in like a hermit then
the morning comes time to get up
where did that 48 hours go then
its back to the 9 to 5 for you and
me all that wasted fun.