Anxiety
I wish it would go away
But instead it decides to stay…

You feel your pulse race
You try find a safe place
To curl up and cry
Because all you want is to fly
Away so no one has to see
How unhappy you may be

You walk into the room
Someone asks “hey how you doing?”
You start some small talk,
but to your shock
You get irritated over something small
Uh oh, here starts your downfall

You lay down and try to sleep
But don’t worry, it won’t be deep
Your mind will start to run
It’ll make sure to have fun
While it tears you apart
And rips out your heart

You try make new friends
Maybe even tie up other loose odds and ends
But you let your mask slip
And start to lose your grip
They think you are mad
But really you’re just sad
You try to explain
But it turns out vain

You start some meds
Because everyone says
Your mind is unstable
And if you take these you might be able
To start on a new path
That won’t leave you a bloodbath

You start to feel empty
And think “why has everyone left me”
You feel all alone
Like you’ve been thrown
Aside and forgotten
Like something that's gone rotten

You begin to wonder
As you start to go under
Why you feel the way you do
If only you knew
There is a variety
Of ways to be attacked by anxiety.

It's 3am

I'm on the phone
No one's awake and I'm alone

It's 3am

The radio's on
Songs are played on lonely station

It's 3am

I'm in my bed
My eyes are open and sleep has fled

It's 3am

I'm on the balcony
The sky is dark and just quite scary

It's 3am

Some windows have lights
Could they also not sleep tonight

It's 3am

I'm still awake
When will life ever give me a break

It isn't fair
You've gone and done it again
Made me love you
With reckless abandon
No thought of consequences or heartache
Just like last time

Did you know you were pulling me back in
Just when I thought I'd gotten out, gotten away
Were you aware
That with every text, every laugh, every touch
I was falling deeper in love with you
Until every poem I wrote was about you

Last time you weren't ready for this, for us, for a relationship
I waited as long as I could, but I couldn't wait forever
This time I made the same mistake,
Thinking you might finally be ready

And you might have been
Except that soon you'll be
Thousands
Of miles
Away

And I'll be here
Waiting
And hoping
And praying
That one day you might love me enough to come home