iFeel Guilty When iBuy This **** Now.
Im ******* up, im Truly Sorry
To All My loved ones
Who im letting down again. And instead of Stopping
The minute it gets to me?
Im Thinking
Of how getting my next fix.
iTs Disappointing
Iknow, but iLove iT!

As iGet Ready To Sleep
Close my Eye's
&
Laydown, The 1st Thought Appears
Then The image
And rolling tape, scenarios of me getting high
Lately Have Been Appearing. Feels realistic
And They Have me Feining. The Movements look so Amazing &
Deceiving
All this is trippig me.

My Addiction iS Silent
Mnd Dragging
Its become swollen, overthinking about the Little ****.
The Little voices in my mind arnt making me feel Fine.
Im Trying To Drag Myself towards Sobriety
But my brain and working buddys Are Leading me back to
The stimulant
That makes it feel better
Ineed to settle.

iLet iT in
iLet iT Be
iFeed On To The Sadness And Dwell on my Past Sad ****.
Memories That Tournament Me.
Racing Thoughts At Night
About Things That Dont Let Me Sleep
Toss & Turn
Minor Migraines
Wish they'd
All just go
All The Negativity
To leave me so i can live
Peacefully

Will iBe Strong Enough
To Stop,
Im Sober Already
But
Temptation Creeps
Blinds me
Will i be quick to say no if pulled out infront of me?
iWanna Stop but iStill wanna use
At times Idont know what
Iwant.
Sobriety or the highlife...

Pretty Girls
Every Where, Beautiful Image
Angel Heart, Brain So Smart
Confident, independent, Successful
Then iTs Stressful
Disappointing, heartbreaking
Seeing
Some of these girls fall into the wrong trail.
Influenced, peers, relatives, boyfriends, homegirls
Got them to inhale
A Substance so strong
They dont seem to see it
The new life lane there on, once they
... continued

Im Sitting Here
Thinking about life.
As The Homies Are Taking Turns
Passing, Shot Gun
Sniffing, Racking, hot railing
Twisting
The Pookie Pipe 666
The Devils Clear ****
There Getting lost in that ****
Addicts since they were all youngin
Kicking it with 19, 25 30 40 year olds
Im Looking, Then Im looking down.
see the pipe passed on to me
Where ibegan to think and
Look Down On my
Life.
Reality hits me.
Im following the same line, chasing the same thang

Even Though IDont Want
the Drug.
it Still Roams
still Comes Along
makes Me Feind
without me Even Thinking About iT
iHate it
How This Cycle Just Makes iTs Way
it Makes Me Sad
believe me, iDo Try Hard
to Not think about it
let it come to my mind.
but it just makes its way to my brain.
im tired of this.

iM Trying To Find A WaY
Trying To Find Away To Get Away.
My Mind iS Twisted
iHave No Where To Turn
Not Even Drugs.
iTs me mentally, insanity

iWant To Be Set Free.
Away And Cured From This Addictive Disease.
iWant To Be Happy, iWant To Actually Smile
iWant To Be Able To Feel
iWanna Laugh And Enjoy Life
iDont Like Being Addicted
iDont Like Using And Tweaking No More
iWant To Quit
Sober Up Entirely
From My Health And Mind
iWant The Angel Back On My Shoulders.
iWanna Do Good
iWanna Succeed And Become Somebody
This Drug Always Seems To Get The Best Of Me
To Fall Easily
God Give Me Strength And Strong Wings

She Smiles, So Bright.
She Laughs, She Giggles, She Jokes.
She Frouns, So Low.
She Cries, She Screams And Throws.
She Waves, She Hugs.
She Plays, Shes Sweet And Talks.
She Pushs, She Goes insane.
She isolates, Left Alone, Danger Zone
She Goes Energetic Then Switchs into A Deep Depression. So Confusing
She Likes To Walk, Likes To write
She Has To Be Babysitted, Her Everymove Gets Closer and relapse
She's Full Of Happiness Shes Full of Light And Comfort. she's kind, Sweet And Respectful.
Shes Full Of Negative Surprises, Disappointment And Disasters.
She Needs To Get Her life Together.

iM Clean.
But iM Struggling. iBecame An Addict A Sad Hopeless Dope Fein.
iM 9 Weeks Sober & Every Day iS A Battle & iDont Want to lose.
iTs Becoming More Frustrating As My Clean Days Rise
instead Of Feeling Proud, im Feeling Down. Afraid il end up
throwing All those weeks to waste
Like Before. Then Feel
Useless And See All ive Done Go down the drain and
Start My Addiction all over again.
I Wish My Beloved
Ones understood. That its Hard for me to change from bad to good
im not used to it, im
Afraid to change but believe me ido but im so unsure of
What to do.