Sobriety.
Reality & Unrealistic Views.
Which One Do iPrefer and Chose?
Living in A Dream,
Make Believe Living. Rainbows and Sunshine, Butterflies
Just Your Own Happy imaginable  Life You Create in Your mind.
iHate Sobriety, iHate The Real Things
i Hate the normal Feeling and
Dealing With ****,
iHate Problems, Struggling, Misery
Not Being Happy
iLove To Consume, Experience
New Feelings Rather
Than Just One. I like tons,
Experimenting, Curiosity, Living In Different worlds..

Sobriety.
Reality & Unrealistic Views.
Which One Do iPrefer and Chose?
Living in A Dream,
Make Believe Living. Rainbows and Sunshine, Butterflies
Just Your Own Happy imaginable  Life You Create in Your mind.
iHate Sobriety, iHate The Real Things
i Hate the normal Feeling and
Dealing With ****,
iHate Problems, Struggling, Misery
Not Being Happy
iLove To Consume, Experience
New Feelings Rather
Than Just One. I like tons,
Experimenting, Curiosity, Living In Different worlds..

This iS Becoming So Frustrating.
iM Stuck Between The
Do's & Dont's. Right Or Wrong
Heart or mind
Past & Present, Hope or Dope
Love Or Drugs
Mixed Emotions, Becoming numb
Sobriety reality &
Hating life. Finding happiness.
Keep working on
Myself or just giving up, so confusing
So simple but my mind
And mentality just
Arnt usual.

iM Becoming To
Feel More Sure About This Desicon. Thats been Roaming
In my head
From quite Some Time my feelings
Towards it are
Getting Stronger as the days go by
Im beginning to not
Want to go any longer reasons after reasons are piling up
Telling myself ishould just end it all cause my life doesn't seem
Worth living

iT Haunts Me
Gives Me Nightmares
iHate iT
Why Me? iDont Find iT Fair
Then iT Reminds Me
Its because iTook The Dare
Cause iTried iT
iLiked iT, Loved iT
1Hit? iGot High And
They Call iT Lit. iGot
Addicted.
4 Years iN This Snorting Smoking Shooting This Clear
Dope ****. Went to rehab didn't
Help.  iDidnt Want iT
Didn't Ask For it, all i seeked for was to take a hit.

iSay iM iNlove
With The Substance, Then Switch
Up and Say iTs Disgusting.
iDont Know What
iFeel For iT. iM Bipolar When
iT Comes To iT.
At This Point iN My Life iTs
The Only Thing
That Keeps Going Threw Life
With A Smile
On my face

iM Scared To Fall Back
Into My Old habit
Im worried
I Don't Know if il be able to get off
Crystal ****
Temptation is quick to blind me
Im weak minded when
It comes to this
What are the chances to get
Into the habit again...

iM Scared Of Losing What
iHave Left.
iM Scared Of Seeing What
iHave Left Go Away.
iM Scared Of Disappointing
My Loved Ones Again.
iM Scared Of Being Reminded
What the reality of Drugs.                        can do once again.
iM Scared iF iM Sober Then Fall
iWont Ever Change again
iM Scared The Drugs Can
Take over me Like it Has before
Once more.
Scared Of Feeling Numb And Live The Whole Drug Addiction Cycle all over.

iRun...
& iCant Seem To Get Away.
iTry Harder to
Escape.  
But iTs Still behind me, chasing.
iCant Stop To Catch Some
Air and rest
Its Quick and will get the best
Of me
iHide
Nomatter Whrre, it manages
To Find Me.
Im trying my hardest To get Away
And it always seems to get
Its way back to me
ICry About it
Whispers appear,
They turn into voices, remind me
Of how Much iHate life
And tells me if i stop and hold its
Hand it promises to take all
Misery away

i Genuinely Just Cant Cope
With Recovery
iTurn into This Tearful pathetic
Mess and get more
depressed.
Krazie How One Thing
Can Change Your llife Forever
iTs Like iKnow All The Right
Things to do
To maintain sober
Ijust cant apply them To myself

The Struggle Of
Being Dependent On A Substance.
Especially Stimulating Wise
Is So Difficult
My Negative Emotions Are What
Lead me to wanting to
Go and use.
To Get Away Relive
My Weaken Mind.
By Taking The Stress worries racing
Thoughts away
Dissapering Up in smoke
The Sad Feeling,
Every Time iFeel Blue
A Reminder Pops Up remembering
iHave A Cure to turn to.
Numbs Me All Completely
Since im addicted, idont get that first happy feeling, like idid in
The Beginning.
Makes All my pain and misery leave
Yes iknow, temporarily
As iConsume, its consuming
My Natural Happiness Permanently.