As to this
cobbled together understanding:
The universe despises absolutes, and
cares not for truth seeking.
The grand spiral needs no faith.
It is not with the master's death, then
that we have become spiritual ronin,
beholden to none;
without obligation -
without the comfort of purpose....
Instead, here we are,
the rain dogs of the cosmos;
lost and alone
on a strange world
with no scent to follow.
We are the orphans of sun and moon -
bad parents if ever there were.

Neither table nor tide has turned.
The worm sits still.
Perhaps autumn will wane forever.
Fate has an ace up her sleeve, I'm sure,
since she's a cheating *****
who won't show her cards
even on the big blinds.
On these long, cold nights
the breath of the devil
Smells like coal-fired power and retail transactions.
Click here for free expedited shipping
if you're willing to breath the diesel fumes
pouring out of the Wilcox Tunnel
like cordite discharge from a gun barrel.
**** it.
I still love ice cold Coca Cola Classic
with its pretty can as red as
the blood of Christ.

"The worst things:
To lie in bed and sleep not.
To want for one who comes not.
To try to please and please not."
                 -- Egyptian Proverb

It fades in and   fades             out
The     meandering    song of despair.
     Fading what  once     caused
The frequencies to harmonize.
Random patterns   desperately
     Random.

Her  moods   weave    in           counter
To my intense     focus in   the refrain.
        Our symbiotic   gazing across the room
At the  rhythmic  blue   light  Illuminating
Denials elusive      fingertip touch
Fading into yet another    impossible dream.

The notes are still     laid out on
The well-weathered pages.
The movements    still moving    gracefully
On a near anti-climactic      stage.

All that is   needed   are the instruments
And patrons of means to employ
A symphony    suffering long
On a soulless      listless     frequency  band
Made only to vibrate complete
But is now   caught    in   this      jumbled loop
In a now    out-        of-        sync  universe.

I don't know why I still care
Why I think about it all over again

I loved him, I know, but that's no excuse
There's no point in this, there's no use

But I guess everyone moves on at their own pace
So be patient with yourself, this is not a race

Oh honey, depression isn't pretty,
it isn't suppose to be,
people always connect sadness
with depression
but the connection is different,
it is a train of thought
like a chain cut short,
that is sturdily held together
but it doesn't last forever,
it is an armour that is worn
and polished everyday
just to say, 'I'm not sure'.

Oh honey, depression isn't pretty;
it isn't suppose to be,
and I want you to know clearly,
that there are always people
out there, somewhere,
who appreciate you for you
and who is nothing more than
a teardrop or a sweat dripping
away from help.

Some might ask,
'Are you depressed?'
and I can say, 'no I'm not',
so what I write is an expression of mind,
of how I wish you could find, that you
have a chance, because you deserve that chance,
the past is the past, a certain glance at the future
says that you could be doing so much more
and if you don't want to, that's your choice
but honey, depression isn't pretty
and it isn't suppose to be,
but you sure are beautiful,
so please keep staying strong
and marching on.

After what seemed a thousand centuries
Ages that never came to end
Reason beated sentiment
My will is strong again

Recovering from my damnation
After months of infinite pain
My power to let go
Finally made its effect

In my heart, I knew it all along
I did not know when, or how
But the end of it was coming
It was happening after all

Finally the day has come to say
Goodbye, silly heartbreak fool
We won't meet again
You're no longer in the spotlight
And you won't be again
I speak directly to you and this time I'm not flying
Every bit of my dignity is firmly standing

Either you let it go
Or let it go get you

there is
that one ambitious destination
that one castle in the air
that one taste of exctasy
that beams a flicker of light within us.

let that candle flame spread like wildfire
and spew out of you.
let your passion light this grey world with unclouded - and much needed - colour.

- t.m