I'm happy
I don't have what I want
I have what I need.

I'm happy
I don't have a lover
I have people who truly love me.

I'm happy
Not because life is easy
But I have peace,
The kind that is not of the world.

Sitting under the sky
away from the crowd
This Valentine's day
no music loud

Neither chocolates
Nor dinner cosy
Just aroma of coffee
No fragrance rosy

Talk heartful with
the moon and stars
Showing my heart's
deepest hidden scars

Praying to the God
to help me to heal
To remind my heart
to not to feel

The world to me does not exist,
as now I only live in my bed,
sheets and blankets clenched in my fists,
waking up is now something I dread.
The world to me does not exist,
as I just previously said,
and they all say ignorance is bliss,
I had to clear room in my head.

I am just stuck in a rut,
a misery merry go round,
smoking each cigarette to the ****,
silence still making too much sound.

Travel on, keep your feet strong,
life is too short but still too long.
Rambling soul, you'll pay the toll,
with a mind of fire and a heart of coal.
I don't want to stop this,
no I don't want to wait,
fear of missing something to miss,
with a touch of hope of being too late.

The world to me does not exist,
the blue pill looked better than the red,
every hour lived is now on a list,
compiled with showering and being fed.
The world to me does not exist,
society is something I've always fled,
I've hid in the shadows and the mist,
and quietly I've always bled.

I am just stuck in a rut,
a misery merry go round,
with constant aches in my gut,
and lungs that have already drowned.

Travel on, keep your feet strong,
life is too short but still too long.
Travel on, keep your feet strong,
nothing is right and nothing is wrong.
Rambling soul, you'll pay the toll,
with a mind of fire and a heart of coal.
Rambling soul, you'll pay the toll,
you'll live your life and play your role.
I don't want to stop this,
no I don't want to wait,
fear of missing something to miss,
with a touch of hope of being too late.

I know it sounds crazy,
I know I'm such a drag,
I don't know if I'm just lazy,
or if routine is prone to lag.

I keep buying tickets for the lottery
though I'm told I already won.
with each gamble I hope to see,
a glimpse of blue skies and the sun.

There is some point in our life,
When things get rough,
When things get tough,
Like rivers, soon it will dry.

Nothing stays permanent,
Nothing stays forever.
Everything has an end,
Maybe today, maybe not yet.

But as a river dries up,
There's something, a cause to it.
Something that's blocking its source,
Something that cut its connection.

Like the hearts of two lovers,
It continue to flow.
Until some sort of obstacle appears,
Blocking the path between the two.

Some barriers can be taken down,
But some are permanent in time.
Causing two hearts to give up,
Causing two lovers to let go.

But time heals every pain,
It's just, not right on the spot.
But you can still find a way,
Find another, open way.

With that obstacle up ahead,
You can go around it,
With another path to take on,
With another road to lead you.

Like a river all dried up,
Water, it still finds it way.
From the hot, barren land,
It will struggle its way back.

Given the circumstances,
Learn not to give up.
Cuz like a river that dried up,
You too, can still move forward, no matter where you stay.

I distract myself with certain memories
Of imperfect ages where I could have belonged.
I hum to myself melodies that do not exist to some
But exist in my mind and my hearts songs.

It sings songs of life where I am not a grain of sand
But a radiant beauty, bright like the sun.
A woman who can run through the wild
Without shame, without the nakedness
That comes from all her wrongs.

If I could sleep and always wake up to this dream,
Wouldn’t that be fun?

I cannot breathe my dreams into life
But I can continue to think and write.
Too many mistakes haunt me.
Too many expectations, daunting.
But I can continue to think and write.

For now, that will do.
Till sleep comes, that will do.

Same as if a wave
tries to divorce itself
from the sea,

so you will never
make yourself happy,
even though our purpose

is to be happy,
just as the sea
will roll and break forever.