I hate mornings before I have  my cup of coffee

Thunder resonates throughout my entire being
If there's rain,
I can't feel it
But I can taste it
As it slithers past my parted lips,
Cool against the tip of my tongue

Absently, I watch it caress my skin
Slowly pouring down,
Like tears across my face
Briefly revealing my bruised soul

And I wish I could describe this ache
I hate the terror in my head
More than I could ever possibly say

I doubt anyone will ever have the patience to break through my walls

After all,
Damaged goods are still damaged
No matter how attractive they might be

I can't ****** my way into a happy ending

© 2014 Peach

Mom can you make a list of what you see in me?
I  just want a reminder of the goodness
that's inside my heart/that rests inside of me
I'll tape it to the fridge/or, on the kitchen wall
Do you think you could give me a call?
Or, you could just put it in a letter
so I can begin to feel a little better...
I'll be reminded
that I am worthy of receiving love
within this Universe
Because right now it feels like I've been cursed..
Please tell me what you see...
remind me of all the goodness
that still rests inside my heart/that's dormant inside of me.

Some days life is such a battle
When the storms come crashing in
It feels like I just can't win
Do I sink or do I swim?
Do I stay down like a fallen soldier
Or do I get back up again
If I am not strong enough to walk
I could at least crawl
It is better than not going anywhere
and hitting my head against a brick wall
Stuff happens to everyone
Sometimes I forget I'm not alone
Any change in attitude is up to me alone
So the next time the Proverbial Stuff hits the fan  
I will think at least I am still living
I will plan to lean on a friend for support
Together we can weather Life's storms

Sitting alone where I hate to call home
As the voices ring on once again as they do
I've lost peace of mind
It's nowhere I can find
The thoughts just keep coming
I sit here and stew
For there is no distracton to bring satisfaction
In staying off things I would rather not think
There is no defense
No relaxing the tension
There's no victory in running
I've started to sink
The same things I've said now repeat in my head
But I find it much harder believing my words
When there's nothing to show
While the pain keeps on growing
I've held on to nothing but hope with no cure
I've chewed through the bars
I've stopped counting my scars
For they keep on collecting new scars of their own
Life in a cage amidst sorrow and rage
But prepare for the freedom of choking alone
I've taken my steps
Each has come to collect
Maybe I'm just defective
Neglected by chance
Smiles no longer save me
The beauty keeps fading
Despite all my efforts, I never could dance
So I sit here alone
Just a fool with no throne
Who sees fit to condone trying so hard in vain
"One day..." I keep saying
And the record keeps playing
Just like me, it is broken
It's here I remain
Despite all I have tried
Despite all the tears cried
I've but flooded my mind with more things to forget
Hope has carried me far
But what lessons there are
Only teach me I'm drowning
Tangled in my own net