Into the Fray - Hello Poetry

Jan 2019

Edmund black

Life last only
a short time

So few love
Can ever be shared

So few words
Can ever be said

It is not an illusion
my reason why ,
I bleed poetry

To make my life magic
Before I fade away

Let my pain now die
Grant me one wish
I ask of thee
The gift of poetry
To keep me alive!

Dec 2018

Graff1980

Untitled 90

My sharpest parts
are parallel
to your dull bits.

My quick wits
slice open
your dangling bits
as all of your *******
leaks out of
that flesh bag
and broken brain
you claim
is great.

Sic sewage water
backs up
and flows out
when you shout about
your social outrage.

Stinking mess
of hateful rage
cause you hate your days
so, to feel better
you want to spread
the pain
like spoiling butter
on crusted up
and rotting bread.

Halfway dead,
walking corpse.
What a waste
of potential.
You could have
sharpened your pencil
and penned
a symphony
of love and wonder
for our shared humanity,
but all you let out
are vapid spouts
of fetid breath.
Till, you burn yourself
with all that sourness.

Dec 2018

Graff1980

Untitled 92

I wanted to want you enough
that I could be swept up,
not just distracted by
our enacted lust.

I wanted to do more then
spend time being bored
as your daytime boyfriend,
be more than a weekend
***** you are constantly
breaking in,
whilst I am pleasuring you
then leaving
cause I have
more important
things to do.

I wanted what most poets
aspire to,
to desire you
like an epic poem proclaims,
to feel your name
inflamed
on my skin
as you devour my flesh
and I sink in
to this loving authenticity
living in tranquil domesticity.

I wanted to want something normal,
but I am constantly seeking
the new thoughts
that need speaking.
I am constantly watching
and learning
which leaves little time
for burning
in your passionate presence.

I wanted you,
but not enough
to change
because I love
my freedom
more than the chains
love makes.

Dec 2018

Innocent

Alone

Why is it when you are gone that I feel this emptiness from within?
Is this what it felt like for that man of tin?

Dec 2018

Graff1980

Untitled 85

History is a pendulum
swinging perilously
back and forth
over our shared humanity.

Slicing bitterly
at the air above me
with a visceral hatred
for all the good things
I hoped we could be.

Kinder to hater,
forgiving to denier
loving to crier
sharper it slices
cutting the air cleanly
leaving me feeling it keenly.

Wild rhetoric
going viral,
virus of ******* words
spreading like the plague,
a poisonous and bubonic phage.
I struggle to stop it,
this rising tide
of tired tirades,
republican charades
turning different skin shades
into the enemy.

These neighbors are our family,
but the pendulum sees them
separated by the serrated blade,
exhausted by the hate
and violence that blazes.

History returns to sicken
my sorrowfully stricken
heartbeat.

Dec 2018

Graff1980

Untitled

Desire is the thief of
a pleasant present moment.

Dec 2018

Graff1980

Untitled 84

Chivalry is misogyny
demeaning the feminine,
implying weakness
that needs defending,
and unending serving
by a noble male authority.

Courtesy in counter
is gender neutral
merely seeks to help
in kind
those it finds
needs or could use
assistance.

Dec 2018

muteD

12/2 "Nostalgia"

"a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life."

i miss my memories .
the ones i can remember so vividly .
back when she was my best friend ,
he was my end ,
and she was my cousin.
i miss my feelings .
not the ones that remind me
of a time not worth living .
engrossed in my sisters drowning
nightmares plagued me
because i blamed me .

i miss when everything was so effortless .
being me was a manifest
error , something that was luminous .
lighting up my world with darkness .
back when i wasn't weak .
felt indestructible, nothing could destroy me .
except maybe a heartbreak ..
or three .

i miss when i did not miss .
back when remembering "this
and that " ,
didn't mean a panic attack .
back when being happy
was a state of mind
instead of something
i wanted to be mine .
back when i wasn't afraid to connect .
before you and everyone left
and i was like our govenment .
a little off balanced ,
without being checked .

i miss who i used to be
because i am not sure
how to be
this "after" me .

Dec 2018

muteD

11/10

Nothing seems worth it anymore .
Dreaming seems pointless .
Wishing seems senseless .
And living ?
It just seems ridiculous ..
I am hopelessly lost in despair .
In need of just a lil guidance
Yet I'm too far gone to help
And it's far too late to notice.

that I am

stuck ,
In the Land of the Unliving .
Feelings that aren't even feelings .
Thinking things that shouldn't be thoughts .
Remembering things that couldn't be memories .
Everything is
Mixing and mixing
And matching and mixing
And matching and matching
Until it's well passed
Mixed
And everything has been
Matched
And I have been drained .

Something is
missing
and I can't find it .
Whether it's my heart or my head ,
I can't quite confess
or recognize
under the scrutiny
I am under ,

Attack that is .

Each flashback
Rapes my mind
Over and over again .
Each ******
In and out , in and out
Leaves a piece of
'nothing' behind .
Like a dried up grape ,
What makes me ME
has been ****** out of me .
Just call me a raisin ,
I am nothing
but a dried up piece of something
that used to be
a being .

#stuck #truth

Dec 2018

muteD

(5/17) 11/10

remembering
how we used to be
back when
I couldn't breathe
call me breathless
bc you were breathtaking
and mine .

you were like a rose .
beautiful yet dangerous
with thorns tipped w poison .
grew up through a crack in the cement ,
felt nothing but continual abandonment
and an ache
for something you know nothing about .

maybe you were more like an onion .
each time you pull back a layer ,
there's always another
in its place .
had heart of ice ,
one I tried to unthaw .
I wiped your surface ,
and it just froze back over
immediately after .

an imperfect flaw of perfection .
someone in need of affection ,
commitment , attention and direction
you are someone
who would've died
saving me .

and that just can't be .

"I like it. The first and second paragraph (stanza) make me think of my ex."-SB

#relationship #undeserving #old #love

Dec 2018

muteD

11/28 "Janeva"

I'm missing a piece ,
a piece of my heart .
and that piece died years ago ..
literally ,
you were my light in a dark room .
my laughter when all I wanted to do was cry ,
you were
you are
my sister .

I'm sorry I couldn't save you.
I'm sorry I wasn't there to see the light
leave your eyes
oh how alone you must have felt
to have to die in a bathroom with nothing but
bubbles and
a bathtub of water .
"mom , help!"
"***** , save me!"
"baby brothers , are you there?"
"can anyone hear me?!"
if only you could have spoken ,
I wonder what you would have yelled .
oh , poo , I am sorry that I wasn't there .
I'm sorry that it was you
and not me .
I would give you my life if I could ,
wrap it up in newspaper just so I could see you
tear it apart
just one more time ,
for old times sake .
maybe play some music so I can see your
smile
light up my room
and light up my life .
you will forever be my missing piece ,
my puzzle will never be complete
without you ..

Love ,
***** .

I miss you *****..
"It's beautiful. I felt that."-JS

#death #loss #missingpiece #sisterlove