My vision went blank
The memory is gone
When I wasn't there

I was held captive
By the bottle of falsity
In the midst of a crowd

My deepest possession
Was stolen in the dark
I was more dead then them

But I woke up in life
In the hell of my sins
Drowned by own blood

A strange taste sunk in
Bittersweet like rind
But it burned like liquor

My flesh was emptied
I was carrying my heart
As it diminished in hand

The air was thick and wild
My lungs filled by dust
Of what was left behind

My song turned melancholic
As my soul hid quickly
With the depths of my spirit

The years passed
And like a mirage
They dissipated

Now I dine alone
At the broken table
I placed in my home

There's a part I've lost
A place I'll never find
I am the ghost of my death

I thought you were different then the rest...
I swear I loved him,
but i'm sure that he doesn't care.
I've moved on to the next,
I thought he would have been the best...
but it was just the same old song.
I decided to see what guys
in other countries were like...
they're the same old song.
They are just some emotional teens,
i'm emotional too
thats why I keep dating them.
Maybe I should try dating someone happier then.
                               ...........

When I was young I have been told
that we should be saved for someone
Reserved for all our teenage years
Get a job, hold my life together
Maybe get a car, or buy a house
Be able to pay back my parents for all that they have done
And then maybe, one day, get married

They taught me to never
give my body to just anyone
And even if I wanted to,
I couldn't
There were always friends and parents
I could get a kiss from time to time
But I could never show my naked body
There were always friends and parents

So instead,
I showed my eyes
And my lips
And he showed me his teeth
And his hands
I showed him my fingers and cheeks
My corners
And he showed me the back of his neck, eyelashes
His edges
My holy ground

When our hands entwine,
We are making love
When we get coffee on a sunny afternoon,
We are making love
When I am on the other side of the room
And our eyes meet
And we smile,
We are making love

have you forgotten what you promised me?
another moment of solitude, another second of silence
in this tired, old brain of mine,
barely eighteen, yet aged beyond my years,
i have grown up too quickly.

finding happiness in others soon proves difficult when
a bottle is a much closer friend than any other,
wading through my emotions like a smoky room,
pretending to be alright, just for tonight,
when i'm drunk and calling you at 3:30 am,
asking you why you left me alone,
when you promised that you'd
never leave when i needed you
the most.

"I'm used to it," she numbly says.
And that's how you knew she was broken.

i remember when
you cried at the top of your lungs
saying if you lose me
you'd lose yourself

today i saw you lose yourself
in her eyes