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 Jan 2016
Walter W Hoelbling
painfully shrouded
   in the presence
      of your absence
I go about my business

it takes me days
   to rebalance
   and to remember  that
the hurt of missing you
is a result
   of your existence  that
the joy of loving you
   will be fulfilled again  that
   the happiness
      will come back

only then
   can my eyes regain
      their smile
at the world
 Jan 2016
devante moore
A plague on humanity
In love caused insanity
A bad guy in the making
Kicking dirt In your eyes
A spawn of the hulk
Didn't gain his strength
As a trait I got his hate
Opened the gates
Let out his rage
Anything I touched disintegrates  
The bad guy
Sick of the happy feelings
Always branded as the bad guy
So I'll embrace the villain
No longer happy thoughts
Get close
I'll sink my teeth in your blood stream Injecting you with venom
Hope an love was a drug
But it's affects has worn off
Now my heart is cold
And what runs through these veins
Will bring down any Hero's name
 Jan 2016
devante moore
I don't need to be held
Or hug
Kissed or touched
Comforting is something to much
Trusting in people makes me sick
My face turns blue
Like the blood is being ****** out of me from a tick
Tried before
Highly disappointed
Only loved once
Epic fail
No longer will I wallow and wail
Feeling sorry that I messed it up
I've accept my demons
More like embraced them freely
Comforting is just something I don't need really
To long on my own
I've embraced solitude
And lived in seclusion
Made her my wife
And had a few children
Cold on the inside
Drink loneliness from a well
And all the coins in the world
Will not wish this well
 Jan 2016
devante moore
I want to drown myself in a pool of liquor
Sip on the corrosive liquid
Let it slither down my throat
Saver the feeling
As I goes down smoothly
Stinging like battery acid
Hot like melted plastic
More then ever, do I wished I drink
Wish I could befriend intoxication
As we walk stumbling
Hand in hand
Drink myself into an alzheimer's session
To forget these lessons
Until I lose all sense of myself
Once direction becomes a foreign language
Or I lose the ability to speak
And my name is no longer recognizable to me
More then ever, do I wished I drink
 Jan 2016
devante moore
This will be the death of me
Like an empty bottle of prescription pills
Sitting on the sink
Honesty
Has me on the brink
Sore throat
Drowning myself without something to drink
All because of the truth
But now I see
All you wanted was fragments
Like a chipped tooth
To me honesty heals
Like chicken noodle soup
But to you
It hurts
Guess you rather me tell you the sky isn't blue
Honesty kills
In the first degree
Heart rate dissipate  
Your lips glow blue
And ***** oozes out of you
Your skin temperature becomes bipolar
Hot then cold
You can feel the life leaving you
Honesty kills
Like an overdose on pills
 Jan 2016
devante moore
What I felt for you is gone
Naked an bare
I no longer care
I loved you
But no
Your love is polluting my air
It's hard to breath
With these thoughts of you
So much within me
It grows from the roots of my hair
But I no longer care
I'm done chasing
Now I'm just casing what I felt in a bottle  
Hosting it out to sea
And stare as the lapping waves
Gravitate it away from me
And if some how some way it ever makes its way back
I won't be here
Because I don't care
 Jan 2016
Walter W Hoelbling
the day you went
   into that other world
the day spring began
is etched into my memory

I know
thousands of mothers die
every day

but this time
it was you

my mother

to bend
to the limits
of our life

hurts

almost beyond words
 Jan 2016
Walter W Hoelbling
try to imagine
your own death

at first
your mind just balks
at the idea

but once you concentrate
you may get puzzled
at the endless opportunities
you have
  of dying

warming to the subject now
images start flitting through your mind
like you were flipping TV channels

you see yourself dead
  with a trickling bullet wound
  in some dark street
  victim of street crime unpredictable

or have a vision
of a scene of accident
where white-clad helpers
carry a distorted body
to a waiting van
in vain

or you are in a clinic
rigged to electronic gear
the nurses look discouraged
slowing beeps
flattening curves on monitors
and you feel darkness creeping in

or you blow-dry your hair
with the old dryer
and the bathroom floor
is just a little bit
too wet

a plane falls from the sky
in a fireball

a stone gives on the mountain path

you ski into whiteness

the railing breaks

lightening flashes

a snake bites

what.... -

all of a sudden
  options explode
your mind reels from the truth
that death is all around
in infinite variety
and may be yours

now

or a second later

imagine
Written on the train after reading about a train accident .... ;-)
 Jan 2016
Walter W Hoelbling
days will not pass
   nights always come
   too late
when you are not with me

the cloud that is not you
hangs over me like fog
   strangely transparent
my senses have grown blunt
for anything that is
   not as intense as us

but people smile at me
and I can talk and act
   it seems
quite normally
   they do not know
   that they are only speaking
   to a friendly shell

my real shadow
is holding yours
in our dreams
until we wake again
   and walk  
into each other’s arms
 Jan 2016
Walter W Hoelbling
grief can be a temptation
and relief

you plunge into it
immerse yourself
dive to its depths
look at the world
as through a glass
darkly

you meet the others there
   who plunged before
you talk to them and feel
the water slowly rising in your body
and recognize that they
drowned years ago
and you have not

yet
 Jan 2016
Walter W Hoelbling
ice is in the air
it fills all space
and leaves
   nothing
untouched

the noncomittal voice
of an unfamiliar priest
bounces off
the hard air
   unheard

dark clad people
  white faces
frozen to the cemetery ground

someone
who has not yet
fully understood
softly
   defiantly
places a flaming bouqet
of red roses

my gaze
cuts through
the strange flowers
to the time
that was
On the death of a wonderful colleague who died young.
 Jan 2016
Walter W Hoelbling
the last one
of the orchid blossoms
has fallen

down

I am leaving in an hour

            * *
 Jan 2016
Walter W Hoelbling
one of the orchid blossoms dropped
when I came back without you

the last one is opening today

beauty lost in solitude

               * *
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