As I began school
I was a year behind
in age
in intelligence
in everything

but I was
determined
to make it
work

I refused
to let them
bring me down
and make me
feel like I was
less

now
nothing
can
stop
me

that
determination from
the beginning
has helped
me stay
ahead
of the
game

and brought me
here
where I am
today

Get good grades
Don't break the rules
Act like a proper lady
Don't let anyone see you cry

All things
I was told
would eventually
get me somewhere

I don't deny
that being safe
makes me
comfortable

but I wish
I could take
initiative
to be new

and do something
the world
has never seen

after all,
we are taught
so young to do
things now so we
don't feel the guilt
until later

I have always
had pride
in my independence

Always made
my own decisions
made my own friends
done my own work

As all others
I learned this
at a young age;
this self-reliance
of sorts

It is freeing
to have freedom
and relieving
to be relieved
of responsibilities
that are not mine

But it is nice
to think of myself
as small
and dependent
on mommy and daddy
because it was a
simpler
time.

As humans
during our
first year of life
we are supposed
to learn
how to trust
other people
for the
basics

but what are
we supposed to do
as we get older
and the hurt
increases
and the pain
won't subside

what about
when
our learned
balance
of trust
versus
mistrust
goes away

what about
when we
lose ourselves
and we are not
children
anymore