I often wonder
how many
different shades of green
there are

Very pale green
right through
to a very dark green
Pale green in the large trees
like the oak
to a much darker green
in the hedgerows

It could be
different sunlight
or shade

If I close my eyes
maybe you can’t see me
and I won’t have to lie
here, still and silent -
on my side
of the great divide
that’s come between us -
the quiet nights
no longer dreaming
go on and on -
living, breathing
beating hearts, forgotten
seasons lost -
in distant canyons
we once walked
our paths entwined -
companions once
leaving shadows
aligned in the sand -
in the canyons
where we left our hand
prints on a wall -
side by side
you and I.

Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling

She entered my life ... an angel
A gifted and troubled spirit... us two
We banned together..Nikki and I grew.
Her words of poetry spoke to my heart.
As I had made my written story ... come alive...
I received a message from a lover from a news article...
A brilliant voice ended Nikki's beautiful start...
Her spirit still speaks to me
Even after all these years
She was so brave and powerful..
Until Madness took command..
It won the demise of a beautiful hand
She was sent up to the gates of the gold that entered the promise lands
So I talk to her every dark time that this same cruel voice that speaks to me and ended her
She relights my way
I smash the monster away
Now I am the bright and fire lit author
That shines, on, through endless days.

A moment spent in waking day dreams
I sell a newer moment
For a newly rewritten night mare tale
Of the fall of my fate
In the newly splashed visual effects
I snap from this role in stronger and more feeling aspects.
Here he goes
Another “historic” tale of his to tell
About how one man becomes stronger when he fell
Than ever he was at his sanest or clearest of moments
Let the clinics and morals of the controlled “sane practitioners ” protest
That don’t intimately or personally know the real and inner passionate soul
That where evil society tried to wage their tolls
Upon a greater warrior
I hit them right back with huge , more powerful flames
In their hunger for games and glory
I hit hard and defend others alike me
To pry open the oppressors cells
And widely open their once locked doors
To let brighter souls who deserve brighter fates
Run free

I look for you
In passing faces
A stranger's glance
In haunted places

I feel you among
Nature's grandest setting
It is you that I remember
Even when I'm forgetting

I see you wherever I go
In everyone I meet
Your words echo in conversations
That pass me on the street

Your soft, easy way
That safe familiar tone
That always takes me back
To a time long gone

Oh, my beloved, have you thought of this:
How in the years to come unscrupulous Time,
More cruel than Death, will tear you from my kiss,
And make you old, and leave me in my prime?
How you and I, who scale together yet
A little while the sweet, immortal height
No pilgrim may remember or forget,
As sure as the world turns, some granite night
Shall lie awake and know the gracious flame
Gone out forever on the mutual stone;
And call to mind that on the day you came
I was a child, and you a hero grown?—
And the night pass, and the strange morning break
Upon our anguish for each other’s sake!

She conquered her demons,
               and wore her scars like...
                              Wings.  
We all get burned down sometimes.
But the next step is a choice.
Do you let your ashes blow away?
Or do you rise from the ashes like a
Phoenix?
The choice is yours so,
Choose wisely.