At this rate , my heart will rip apart .
Such small things as songs make my mind crave your presence .
The possibility of a romantic endless future with you is slim ,
Yet my mind can't stop fantasizing about ;
You inviting me to prom
Camping with only you by my side
A hug
A cuddle
A kiss
What a cruel reality I shaped for myself ;
All the wrong choices , at the wrong time

A quite night , about 3am ,
City lights and pitch black fields decorate the abandoned house on the top of the hill
Two friends sit on the cold stone stairs .
Both crying , for different reasons.
But it doesn't matter ,
They find comfort and calmness in each others arms .
That's what twin flames look like .

You asked me
"If we get back together , how do you know you won't get bored with me ? How do you know you won't go looking for another man?"
At that moment I was struck
I understood how badly I hurt you .
The deep wound I gave you drives my guilt  and my heart crazy.
I'm so sorry
I'll never be sorry enough

I heard you dated another girl
A year after we broke up
And it makes my heart ache

Even though I moved on , and have a new partner
I can't stop thinking about you
About going on roadtrips , listening to your songs and your voice
About waking up in your bed

I often think about an endless future with you
About exploring myself in you

My mind says him , my heart wants you and only you .
My heart follows you wherever you go .
Let me love you again

our red string is still there
my dear
you arent mine
im not yours
yet my heart is still in your closet
waiting for the right time

you are so loved
by me
but you are not the right person for me
yet , at least
i wish we met in our 20s
it whouldve worked right?
i whould be with you till death do us apart
right?

as i listen to the playlist i made for you
i go threw our memories
you should see me
crying , whiping on the floor whishing to go back
to your arms
i never knew how badly id miss your hugs
your smell
your voice
i wish you could see me crying , whiping on the floor
i wish youd hug me and tell me you love me

im in love with you
i gave you my heart
my soul
you are my everything
my heart is full of flames when i mourn over our end
i mourn every day
thinking about how i lost
my soulmate
the one person i dont want to lose
the one person i want to live forever

i want to go back to the first on july

i love english .
im not an english speaker , its not even my second language.
but i love it more than any other language in the world.
english is universal , and its whats beautiful about it .
i can cross oceans and continents with it.
i can reach you with it .

our birthdays are one day apart and yet ,
you never bought me a birthday gift .
you never cared enough to buy me a small gift , even when we had a party with all our friends .
you never took one hour out of your day to search for someting that i will keep for the rest of my life , because you know how speacial you are to me.
you buy gifts for people you know for 2 years but not me , who was by your side  , threw thick and thin , for the last 5 years.
its not about the gift anymore ,
its about how much you care ,
and you dont care at all.