I want your fingers to dig so deeply into me,
they leave dimples behind.
I want a pornographic pout and
an iridescent smile.
gimmegimmegimme
a reason to lick my fingers in the night.
slippery as an eel.
my ***** is a portal to another dimension
it's the fountain of youth
a sanctuary
a maze
a happy ending.
my **** is the switch to my consciousness.
I exist in a state of
semi
lucid
euphoria.
dip me in gold
and put me on your mantel
for your viewing pleasure

my bed is the void,
or at least I wish it was.
I feel like swirling and twirling,
in the abyss.
I want to touch the face of The Son
and be buried in the earth
so I can know what it is to feel the weight of it
pressing me downwwwwwwwwwwwnnn
                                                    wwwnnn
                                                              nn
                                                                  nn
                                                                      n before watching my bones take root

I am a weepy willow
in the midst of a hurricane.
I am sleepy branches,
I hang my head in shame.

I am daughter to a man strung together from a multitude of inconsistency.
always late, lying about things
or with people he shouldn't be.
I am the product of a man who could not bring himself to give a compliment.
Trust is a five letter word synonymous with the word "myth" -
that is the greatest lesson my father ever taught me.

I love men who make promises they can't keep.
I love men that pull away,
make me doubt what I deserve.
I always wonder if my daddy thought I was pretty.

Boys love me when I laugh at their jokes
and make them feel like the most interesting thing in the room.
They like when I put their insecurities to bed.
Bed,
the most bittersweet place for a girl like me
to be.

I could have been floating on rainbow river,
but the fool I am - I stayed in
thinking we could make up for lost time.

But I should have seen this coming.
Because I did it too.
Kept making the choice that I knew hurt you.
prodding a wound with ***** fingers.

visions of my own death play in my head,
a silent movie that speaks volumes.
Oh, karma - how could I have forgotten you would return for me?
Taking the things I cherish,
sweeping away every good thing in your wake.

how can I fault him for my mistake,
look how long it took me.
but what good has it done me to do good,
when it's brought him no closer to me.

he's on the other side of a massive rift that grows deeper with every word he speaks.
I love you - a shovel in the dirt.
you're out with friends, and I'm lying in the sodden earth.

upset tummy after a night of liquor
while I stayed in, unable to eat, getting sicker -
I can't hold down a bite,
my stomach won't have mercy on me.
Dry heaves,
wet tears
and a bed I wish wasn't empty.
it's night like these
I wish for my mother's womb -
a warm, dark place fit for the likes of me.

I don't know what I'm doing,
but it feels a lot like drowning.
being with someone
can feel scarily like -
you're holding your own hand.


I fear the morning,
because I'm afraid you'll leave in the night.
(That's how they all go.)

The worst thing about people is our capacity to disappoint.

This is the void they speak of.
This is the abyss.

It's easier to vent here,
Where the people that find what you have to say worth hearing - can, and do listen.

Maybe if I used auto-tune
When speaking about how I feel.
Or used catchy lingo
And played a sick beat
You
Would
H e a r
Me.

This whirlpool of useless words,
A point made a thousand times over -
Speaks no louder than a whisper
T(w)o ears that are closed.