Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Today I reached for you
With a kind of virtue
And sincerity pressed behind
the design on my lips
Little realizing I was still reviling
Within my current remiss

I went and sinned again darlin'

There's little to do for recompense,
and so cordially I professed to you
all of my candid truths
With every intent
To avoid becoming uncouth
and elusive

Because... I do miss you
And I suppose I well knew...
You don't feel the same
I could feel it the instant you responded
Not the least bit concerned
Which was well deserved
Leaving me completely despondent

I need you to remind me
Just how lost my heart has become
And what that has cost anyone
Trying to reach for me
When I become undone

Somewhere in between
the real desire to reignite whatever fire
had transpired between us
With a new flame
Lay my hidden ulterior motive

Even I believed we would achieve
Something constructive
Yet my devious mind
Deceived even myself
To harness this abject,
self-destructive desire

Call me by my real names:
Heartless.
Narcissist.
Liar.
Coward.
Creep.
Thi­ef of catharsis.

Remind me of the same feeling
Delivered in your own unique way
Because I can't stand
To let myself ever forget again
This pain in my chest
Is everything to remain
It's all I have left
Remind me.
When I brush my teeth
I wish I could rip all of them out
Reach down my throat
And drown my stomach in Listerine
to exhale and feel cold air
rolling around my mouth

When I shower
I wish the water would devour my skin
To peel it away like acid rain
So that I could be blissfully naked
And clean once again

I imagine being able
To jump out of my bones
Like a fish swimming upstream
Against the winding current
Knowing it's headed home

Because even while devising lines
Of adjectives strewn together
I vividly imagine tearing fragments
of my hair to be born again
In a plume of Phoenix feathers

If I could crack my neck
and set forth a cleansing vapor trail
My backpedaling steps would vanish
In the path forward left unveiled

If I could step outside the line
of attempted perfection
Maybe I could change my perception
And face my reflection

But the problem is
I've learned to love this Monster
Through our constant battles
So even when I'm seeing clearly
I feel him near me
Sleeping in the shadows
In my dreams I vividly imagine
Dipping you in a vat of hydrofluoric acid Popping your air bubbles
Rising up in masses
Smiling as you choke and scream
And your body turns to molasses
Whispering sweet things
While witnessing your pitiful reactions

Wait, no
Scratch that I've got a better plan of action That does justice considering
All of your previous unsuccessful tactics
It may involve anthrax, although
You may not be worth the extra taxes
When all I'm looking for
Is to properly rupture your synapses

That's right, too much trouble
So instead I'll use arsenic to compensate
With a dosage that's double
Lie you down and strip you bare
And tie you to the back platform
By your long black hair

Green eyes wide open
With a speculum for your mouth
So that anything you're rejecting
Isn't allowed to come out
And don't worry about restraints
I made a point to crucify you
To your cross made of 2x8 planks

Meanwhile you've been nullified
Lying there listless
I'll look you straight in the eyes
So you know there's no forgiveness

Open up wide
Because here comes the Apache train
I have to admit while you're asphyxiating
I begin fixing to gladly salivate

Is it no surprise
I want to watch the light leave your eyes While you sit and you writhe
Struggle, and finally die!?

Don't look so mortified
I just divulged your ****** scene
So now that I'm satisfied
We can proceed to clean
The mess you've made is putrid
and obscene I can't believe
Just how excessively you could bleed

But that's why I draped the floor
With sheets
And for the the spots beyond their reach We've got Oxy-clean
Hydrogen peroxide and Clorox bleach

Besides before I take you for a ride
We have to dismember your appendages
So no one can be the wiser to identify
Any percentages of finger, digit or thumb
So half of you will have to remain
In the barrel drum
It's all fun and games
Until this slaps me in the face
When someone finds an "innocent victim" Then reports their interpretation
of the case

See, I don't just want you dead,
I want you erased without a trace
So that the stories and allegories ahead
Will not leave my good name defaced

Switch from my peripheral
To my rear view mirror
While we demonstrate less viscerally
That under water you'll also disappear
I'll make you cement shoes
For your descent through the waters
Of Gods and sea monsters
Convicted
By Neptune's sons and daughters

Then once the sacrifice is made
I can forget you
Without a doubt I am resentful
But I'd like to leave behind
Part of my life that's so dreadful
Resuming my usual resistance
With little to do on my mental
Now that I have subdued your existence

I'm eating lentils
This poem is dedicated
I'm playing games
With no emotion
No pet names
and plain devotion
The soil's eroding
There's no consoling
the truth
When I didn't elude
to the difference
There's no trust
When I lead with lust
So then
Uncouth again
This deliverance

My heart is cold
I sold my soul
I lost control
When you took hold
My two cents
And I carefully sense
There's no recompense
For my selfish nature
I'm just so dense

There's no pretense
Only defense
When I'm on the fence
And left you low in suspense

It's preconditioned
Leave no suspicion
In my position
There's something missing
So now I've listened
I'm reminiscent
Of evanescence
No convalescence
It's my decision

Never again will I pretend
like I
gave
no
chase

My only regret is I forget
that
I'm
so
defaced

Forever in debt
for the smile
That I've
now
replaced

If I ever reset
Or resume to beset
I'll just
leave
no
trace
The idea behind this was a response to a conversation I had today that practices extreme lycanism. I wanted to rhyme as frequently as possible to give it that roll of emphatic delivery. I'll probably come up with a hook in the future for this one and put a beat down for it.
With all due respect I'm not racist. I'm just dealing with and reflecting on what I'm faced with. Ignorance stands tall amongst all the publicized stations. People claiming hatred for what they've been given or had taken... in pigments. We should be past the point in time where it's an epidemic But everybody's creating reprimands like this **** could be different. Wishing they could make a decision or live by the revision of their manifested vision... Well I guess you can't stop fear. People disrespect what they reject then project their veneer. Maybe if you took a minute to consider why we're all here you'd find ways to pay reparations replacing base words with fear. And no I do not disrespect the effects of history. We should all carry moments of silence in reflection of our mystery. But propagating and protecting an eternal war that **** gets to me when our primary focus should be moving forward progressively. Yet you choose to react. Elevating racist statements from both sides of the track. Attacking anyone for the color on their skin sets us back. It's past time to celebrate whether you're white or you're black. Some will tell me I don't understand. They look at me and just instantly read my hand. But that's exactly the reason to initiate a different plan judging any book by its cover like that makes you a bigger man. It's time for us to stand and forget about sympathy. That word is useless when held in comparison with empathy. If you could try to harmonize then eventually potentially we could end reducing systematic projections protecting entropy. But you won't. Not for all your pride. One eye for another for what you've suffered and you feel inside. Leading towards a devastating path to divide when I've been making Revelations in my attempt to justify. Blame the present pretenses. Blame it on their wealth. Blame it on account of everyone's single mindedness except yourself! I'm not racist. And I don't have any defensive excuses. I only speak the truth so my intention is ruthless. I'm not trying to replace or defame Joyner Lucas when his claim to fame explained in the original just where the shoe fits. I'm only trying to say one thing here that is this: Your power to separate is ******* stupid and reopens the suture. Only through coming together can we pave a better way for our future.
My response to the current trend.
You claim I came from beneath the surface to your undoing. Yet you were the conservative one who told me to cease what we were doing. So assertively, who do you think you're fooling? You're like a needle weaving around in interstitial fluid. But my veins have been filled with tryptophan. You might playfully say they very well may have been ruined.

  You said to slow down and look around and check the pace of the beat because stepping stones are unknown
when made with cold feet. And in turn I took a step back to retreat so that I wouldn't confuse nor subdue the impudent snooze to my heartbeat.

  And darlin', not to be too explicit but I stepped to the side to abide when you began acting so tactfully complicit. Eliciting emotions as readily as waves of the ocean emitting their violent rhythms. But the notions tender returned to sender have now gone and split schisms exploding causing utter commotion like somehow I slipped or stuttered while muttering my notions to churn you like butter lotion.

  And while this isn't to spurn you, you're requesting my devotion when you barely know my name. So in the mirror what's crystal clear is the thin and whimsical veneer of reciprocity.

  I was adamant to prevent my vile extravagant fragments from implementing collateral damage dispensed towards anyone while I can be so relentless. It was never my intention to hang you up on a wall or leave you otherwise stranded landing nowhere near where I'm standing at all. Rather than bawl or try to break the Berlin Wall, may I suggest we take a rest before the hammer falls?

So that when I don't answer a call you don't wallow growing suspicious of my convictions convinced they aren't there or I've listed restrictions. The difference is that you decide not to believe it. Wow. So I'm not surprised your alibi won't allow you to see it now.

  I can't perceive it for you though I'm not deceiving you
if you could possibly conceive it to be true then maybe next time around you could receive it too. I'll leave that to you
for I can only say my piece. We can maybe slow down
before the throw down or we'll cyst and decease.

  Don't look at me like that last line was mischeviously written or you didn't see it correctly. I'm not an obsequious sycophant but I mean quite simply that we'll become diseased and die if we stick to projecting. Rather than rant planting seeds bitterly reflecting let's make a promise to be honest and say it directly.

That's all I ask of you KC.

Respectfully,
Chris P.
This is for an interesting person who has caught my attention. Maybe she's right. Maybe she forgot. Only time will tell!
I'm not heartless
Just using my heart less
Hoping art is an answer
Like cancer is catharsis

Right now, I'm coping
Picking up the broken pieces
From when this started
Ripping me open in little shreds
Closed again before I noticed

Once I lost feeling, I stopped reeling
There's no revealing memories
Now that you've gone
All dearly departed

Hoping something prestigious
Grows from this seedless garden
But it's like trying to capture air
From a fractured jar
To make an attempt
Of clearing my heart

Not to mention restart it

Seamless spent broken leaves
Hedonist and facetious facsimiles
While I soak in mass energies
To resuscitate dead memories
Just casually discuss the minor details
Of all my sad hapless dreams
Don't try to act or pretend to believe
If you lack a fractured tendency
You'll simply react
To your own hopeless epiphany

While laughing you'll remember me

Aside from the venom presented
Within my resentful history
It's the recurring action persistently
Building traction for another
And once again
Redacted epiphany

Prolifically trapped
In a perdition subliminally
I have personally granted permission
The eternal conditions of a prisoner
Taking backward steps so timidly

It's become tradition
So twisted and vivid...

All I see are projections
Protecting corrections
Rejecting reflections
Until the message infested
Keeps me second guessing
Or stressing and searching
For a holy blessing

It's a mess
I've run amok
There's no abstaining the jest

Honestly I do confess
The only promise I will keep
Is to remain taking the test
And lay the rest six feet beneath

But I'm always second best
The runner-up stumbling
Surreptitiously obsessed
With my mind's eye manifest
Delusional and mumbling
To compare with the rest
I'll use my heart less
And cease the thunder rumbling

If I could attest
It was my absolute best
That used to mean something
Revised 22 Sep 21
Next page