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Sep 2014 · 296
discontentment
peaceful in my misery
if it's truly meant to be
contentment in despondency
no longer will i beg and plead
dont reach for me, i am not free
Sep 2014 · 247
Waste
how could you leave me in the dark like this
i thought you'd never let me fall
your closed mind will never understand
you have to listen to it all
the ******* cowards all live and die the same
waste away saying they made a mistake
never grabbing the wheel to maintain

everything you ever were was fake
Sep 2014 · 311
Happened
Five years old
Tear down white picket fences
Stability thrown out the window
along with his clothes, a television, smashed on impact, and normality.
Six or so
Tear me apart from the inside out
Wrath directed at my true role model
Years and years and years
Fears and tears revealed
Best friends hugging in the front yard
Salty cheeks, we're up til midnight and get to go to school late the next morning.
Abandon me like in the past
Nothing good will ever last
Sep 2014 · 320
Close.
I wonder if it's possible
or if it's even plausible
that before your boiling blood runs cold
you'll think of my smile or a story I told
This is starting to look like a one way road
I wish I could give up but I can't crack the code
I wish I could just turn the wheel and steer away
With my heel blend your tire tracks in the dirt to decay
Blended into my past with the rest
Bid you adieu, wish you the best
Thumb up, heels in front, begging for an escape
Eager eyes, bitter skies, and an awful embrace
Sep 2014 · 584
Early Bird Gets The Worm
Today marks the start
The change in my heart
Open mind, open eyes
I've awoken for an early rise
Sep 2014 · 483
Because of me.
At the most I'll be his sidekick for a few semesters,
crunching leaves as I walk back to his apartment, where I'll take a nap while he studies ancient philosophies, waiting for his reappearance. We'll get ****** and bicker over where to go for lunch, even though we know it'll end up being sushi (it always is).

At the least I'll be the girl he's talking about ten years from now, when explaining his firsthand experience with the deadly combination of a pretty face and a sad, sad soul. The reason he knows anyone can sink deep into that hole and he will never again judge a book by its cover, because of me.
Sep 2014 · 621
night owl
i never sleep at night it seems
my nightmares have become my dreams
im siding with the enemy
this war rages inside of me
Sep 2014 · 137
Untitled
Wasted days
Wasted nights
I'll get it together
I won't waste my life
Sep 2014 · 183
The truth
You could slam the door in my face and I would feel guilty for standing so close to it
Cravings take me over and I'm right back where I started
All progress lost for a temporary lust
"I wanna give up giving in"
But I'll always let you win
Sep 2014 · 222
Sleep.
She rests her head on the belly of his guitar while he strums and plucks,
feeling the vibrations and thinking how the moment might last longer if she resists the urge to let her heavy eyelids fall..
but since the soothing sounds are so sweet she slowly but surely succumbs to sleep
and dreams
while he keeps strumming along, playing his favorite songs
Sep 2014 · 506
God Complex
You deserved this
Did we make you nervous?
Pacing in my bedroom as the truth unravels
Lie after lie but still convinced you're not the *******.
How many girls will you hurt before your time is up?
How many hearts have to break before you've had enough?
Losing you was the biggest gain of all.
But you still think that without you we'll fall.
Humble words tell the truth, but what do you plan to do?
Dance around reality, your logic is unclear to me.
I just hope one day a girl comes along
helps you realize you've been in the wrong.
But your God complex, it's a ******* hex!
Eventually it will be the iceberg that sinks you.
So hold on for the ride, because when it starts to die..
When it starts to die, that's when it'll hit you.
From December
Sep 2014 · 286
Late
I find comfort in the emptiness of the night
The hum of vacant streets and useful sheets
I relate to the eeriness of crickets and wonder if the bear is outside my door
looking for a midnight snack of scraps
(or looking for a friend, perhaps?)
Sep 2014 · 169
Tomorrow
I'm hard to get ahold of but don't know the reason
I thought it would disappear like the summer
I wish I'd change with the season
Keep telling myself I'll get better in time
But with this much faith in the future
nothing will ever be fine
Sep 2014 · 162
Hollow
I am a hollow tree
A dark, empty glass
I can't even tell how much time has passed
But I've been stuck here for years
I'm a prisoner within my fears
Structured just like you,
bones and blood and being
going our separate ways when you ask me
'What's wrong?'
to explain will take too long
My branches are still growing
to keep them all from knowing
to keep myself from showing


I Am Hollow.
Sep 2014 · 252
-ell
only time will tell
the sick from the well
so come out of your shell
and give them hell
Sep 2014 · 182
Own
Own
This house is not a home
Although I need to be on my own
I didn't think I'd feel so alone
What ***** with me the most
is the fact that if someone called
I wouldn't even pick up the phone.
Aug 2014 · 248
Bonded
You should learn that image is something you buy
Return worn out friends and gives new ones a try
I kept all my good ones right here by my side
To remind me sometimes it's okay not to fly
But one day you'll have to stop being so shy
Your voice alway cracks when you sing while you cry
The last image that I want carved in my mind
Is one of you saying you wish that you'd die
Aug 2014 · 314
passing cars
we pulled over so she could close the door
it hadn't shut right the time before
there's a blanket folded to
keep me warm to get me through
this car ride
is only two hours but i swear it feels like forever
since i was told things will get better

you always catch me so off guard
like the loud hum of the passing cars
Aug 2014 · 153
in
in
you're going out tonight
i prefer to stay in
you say you wish i was there
in your bed, my naked skin
conversations, drinks and laughter
not with me, but shared
i hope you remember my laugh
as your fingers run through her hair
Aug 2014 · 339
Bing
Summer nights in Binghamton never seem to end
We crash, we fall, cause after all the moon is not your friend
So stumble home or where you'll moan for at least half the night
Embrace your fears, keep me near, lets end in the right light
Aug 2014 · 590
Fictional
Smoking in a screened in porch
After lives have been divorced
Shaking thighs feel no remorse
Just let nature take its course
Aug 2014 · 222
Wow
Wow
Long nights under bright lights
Internal fist fights
Will I be the one who shines tonight?
Can I call you mine tonight?
Heavy feet hit the ground
Speed it up or slow it down
Change the pace to win the race
Can you show me how?
Living fast and living large
It's my night but you took charge
I put my faith in your hands
You showed me life is far from bland
Aug 2014 · 336
Feelings
I'm ****** and writing poetry of all the things you said to me
The good the bad the ugly and the  very  very  pretty
   I just wish we could've left these feelings hung up high across the ceiling
  High enough where we can't reach them
  Far enough so I don't feel them
What we were was something different
Now it's over, it was pointless
But I guess we all make mistakes
And I guess you're one I'm glad I made.
Aug 2014 · 314
Paper
I want to break down in front of a stranger
I don't want them to ever know my name
I hide from my doubts, they're such danger
But I'm truly the only one to blame
I feel safer spilling my doubts on paper
I want to hear from those who feel the same
Aug 2014 · 758
//realize
You sink me  deeper     
  into the blackest parts of the ocean

you are  one word answers   
half-hearted devotion  
     
You **** me with your words    

please stop speaking now

                            


I mean...

tell me what you want to tell me    

not what I want to hear.                
Or..
If you're convinced it's that easy to win me over...
   then whisper it in my ear.

Tell me how you hate me for half the things I say to you
Then call me at 5 am when reality catches up to you

When sheets are stripped 
 sublime stories all told    
you've worn out your welcome     
useless                    fool's gold  
These once vacant shoulders now seem pretty cold.
But you get what you crave: your image won't fold.

Your decisions of stupidity can never truly compare
To your decisions of cupidity: deep, bold and rare

When the moon wins the battle against heavy eyes,    
On the thundering instance that keeps you inside        
You'll wander to the back burner, right where I reside
to give me the remainder,  
which I'll take,   with my hands tied
//
I hope you take it personal,
I hope you blindly reach
And find out you're the worst of all
None of this is a figure of speech.
Aug 2014 · 221
We?
We?
We can't figure it out
Let it figure itself out
Hope it figures itself out
Like a kid with no direction
No motivation but strive for perfection
The destination remains unclear
so we kick and scream until again we're here
Make up your mind and stop ******* with mine
'All we need is time'; the most ******* line
What happened to when all we needed was love?
*Those days have been murdered and sent up above
Aug 2014 · 281
Downstairs..
dark
   breathy voices
   bitter decisions left behind
   red, feathers, disperse with pressure
   sinking into you like so many times before
   ..like no time before
   this is a new house
   you are a new boy
     old memories join the gathered smoke
     trying to escape us
     there's a lack of ventilation
     a crack in the foundation
Aug 2014 · 219
Upstairs
laughing
   the clanking of pots and pans
   squeaks of springs as bodies rise and fall
   full couches
   full lungs
   high ceilings
   white clouds climb the walls and hide in the far corners
   more laughter and I start to wonder what could be so funny
   these are lives
   beating hearts
   effortless inhales and exhales
   living for the sake of being alive
     and the hopes of good times
Aug 2014 · 239
Seasons.
I don't wish to be defined by my beauty
You might not really like me if you knew me
Seasons changed and the wind blew free
Pretty women hold pain, one day you'd see

They smile during rainstorms and cry in the sun
Within the angel is a fully loaded gun
Shoot the arrow, mind is narrow
and while it's easy to find comfort in the curves of her smile
Soul is eternal while beauty just lasts a while.

I don't want my beauty to define me
If you really knew me you wouldn't like me
Aug 2014 · 305
Silent.
It's time to retire your energy
when you go from giving the utmost effort
to fueling your spite with the poison you spit at his heart
And even though sometimes the good outweighs the bad
The devil is always sitting on his shoulder, wrinkling his shirt
and mouthing every word you swore you'd never hear again
I have so much to say to you
so much, in fact,
that I'll stay silent tonight
Aug 2014 · 191
Lonely company.
You shouldn't have to resort to a lonesome cure
But you can't find common interests with anyone anymore
Things you once loved are now much less desired
The people forget
  it's the fall of an empire
But desolate thoughts can bring peace to your soul
Let the mind wander,
once broken
now whole
You'd be surprised who you may find lurking
Who else may wish their brain would stop working
They hide it well, you cannot tell
  until they want to share
But once they do, you won't be through,
  you'll be the perfect pair
We all need a friend who understands our demons. You are never truly alone.
Jul 2014 · 303
Inside.
You think you can do it better
just because you did it first
I could take the time to tell her
but that might just make it worse

Simple little pictures
tell thousands of words
Take your stupid pictures
You know it makes it worse

It's true that bad boys move in silence
Take your time, try to be quiet
Whisper now, cavalier screams are violent
We'll be the first to start a silent riot
riot, riot,
Change your inner lighting
Never-have-the-time kid
Always end up fighting
My lips are raw from biting
The part of you that's dying

This isn't just a pride thing,
I swear I am not hiding
You'll be the one who's crying
when everyone's found lying
Your conscience is implying
that it was just the timing

but chances pass you by, kid.
Jun 2014 · 1.4k
Reciprocate.
I wish you cared
the way you care where you'll go for lunch today,
I wish you listened
the way you hear your favorite bass chords,
I wish you'd spend time
the way you waste away all your savings,

Show me passion, don't show off
Feel my heart beat like your sheets, so soft
I feel your chest rise and fall
Feel the way I truly care,
and in return, get nothing at all.
Why do you only care when it's convenient?
When did my standards become so lenient?

I wish you the best,
the way you wish away today
I wish you the best,
but with you there is no grey.
Jun 2014 · 329
Waiting room..
old magazines

half hearted smiles


burnt lukewarm coffee



*lurking feelings so...vile
Jun 2014 · 234
True/False.
I laugh at the boys with their falsified intentions
The only thing I do is steal his attention
I must appear a bit too naive
I falsely wear my heart on my sleeve
with my sleeves rolled up so he can see my "heart"
he'll trust me with his, open up from the start
Only to crash, diving head first into me
I'm draining the water while you float in the sea
Jun 2014 · 200
What makes this a poem?
Isn't it a little ridiculous
that just because
I space my sentences
with a pattern or images
to grab your attention
and throw in some rhymes
to format your perception
to believe all the lies
internal readings
tones are deceiving
poems are believing
that everything can be poetic
if you learn to take a sentence
and bend it, break it up so it flows
If it's poetry to you, let everyone know
Jun 2014 · 297
Others.
I don't think anyone is really their truest self among others

We acknowledge coexistence and hide it under the covers

We can't help it, it's a natural occurrence

But we can't change it either,

these different versions among us

We can try though, to force friendships and bonds

But why force anything when no one seems fond?
Jun 2014 · 389
Venom.
Like a snake
I want to sink my teeth
Rob you of your life
in the long run
Fill your veins with my venom
My beautiful, charming venom
You'll let me bite you,
they all do.
You'll feel a new high
accompanied by the lows
You'll reach for me
you'll pull me close.
But my work here is done,
You're not my number one.
I live for this, it's all for fun

And by the end
you'll wonder why
you're saying sorry
and I'm saying goodbye.
Jun 2014 · 520
Creep.
Staring from afar, he noticed that you noticed him and
your eyes cross paths
Neither knows whether to quickly shift or let it last.
But as the corners of his lips curl upward slightly
You're glad you held your glance, and smile back delightedly.
*But when he licks his lips and his brows raise
You're disgusted, he stares while your focus has changed
What makes a guy hitting on you creepy vs. wanted? Whether or not you find him attractive, most likely.
Jun 2014 · 454
Conflict.
Soul searching
Mouth hurting
Imprinted wrists
Unfinished lists
Squinting eyes
Exposed thighs
Barefoot dancing
Sights enhancing
Lustful thinking
Heavy drinking

*Thoughtless memories...
It was hell, we would see.
Jun 2014 · 2.4k
Prom Queen
Long Legs,
short skirts,
  young hearts,
"Love hurts."

lost souls
running free

Time would fly,
"Please let me flee"

Days then months
then years deceased
Naivety fades away
while experience increased

What was once a privilege
now takes priority
Ex best friends
in plastic sororities

The best four years came and went
before apprehension, nevertheless, time well spent

Simplicity we disregard,
Life was easy,
*we made it hard
High school man...
Jun 2014 · 168
Time out.
I swear that I have purpose
I promise there is passion,
inside my eyes, within my mind..
I'm built for many fashions.
I just need motivation
I know there's dedication
inside my heart, it's time to start
living my inspirations.
Jun 2014 · 234
Quick thoughts.
I never stick to anything for more than a few weeks
Habits die harder than young love, it's so bleak
I never finish anything, my creation is disaster
But if destruction's a form of creation, call me.. "Creative Master"
Jun 2014 · 301
C.F.S. (Church For Sinners)
I believe love overpowers every sour minded fool in the end

If we faced the accused, if we lose, would you still be my friend?

Niavety saves our comfort bubbles from the sharp pin that is truth

But imperfections would be less trouble if the shallow minds could see through the flaws into the beaming lights of passion burning through their temples.

I can paint the future I entail with bright and vivid colors...
My path may suggest I lack direction, when really I'm easing the tension...
Not really finished.....
Jun 2014 · 246
She is...
She's probably not a genius
But she probably thinks she is
The way she keeps her eyes closed
for a second after you kiss

She seems to have a lot of good friends
But they're mostly just irrelevant loose ends
So she'll tie them up in a knot
She's so passionate but she forgot
Jun 2014 · 333
Dim.
Tonight I fall asleep without you
It's nothing unfamiliar,
yet that doesn't seem to cure this loneliness
This longing for your affection,
the ability to open my eyes to the view of yours glancing back at me..
it never gets old..I see you in my dreams
Every sad song digs my grave deeper,
but it's so bittersweet that I keep digging.
The feeling that was once so real is now a fading day, all I have is holding on by a thread, and I've not yet mastered the art of the seamstress.
Jun 2014 · 348
The Objective.
Poetry is all about
portraying emotions without
the need for ground rules
which makes it totally cool
for this line not to rhyme with the next....
...Even though it may flow better if it did.
May 2014 · 629
Trying.
You define 'pretentious'
by painting a vivid picture,
with not just your words,
but harsh brush strokes,
violently swinging back and forth,
parallel to the melodrama that is
your mood swings and your lack of self worth,
which forces your internal disputes outward at increasing speeds.
They won't like me.

I say, *You're too worried.
May 2014 · 1.3k
A Kiss Of Pure Intention.
A kiss of pure intention
is one not frequently found
For the lips that meet yours
often bring your knees to the ground

I can't wait until the day when my doubts will float away
and I will be kissed by the most genuine of lips
Ugly, horrid souls use romantic moonlit strolls
as a gateway, leading to her willing hips

A kiss of pure intention
leaves me feeling breathless


A kiss of pure intention
has no need to mention
future possibility
for an equal probability
of walking you home in the moonlight
or staying until the covers are wrinkled just right
for you read the same book, are on the same page
Emotions run parallel, obviously engaged
We learn to read one another, to see what we'll find

*A kiss of pure intention leaves more than lust behind.
Inspired by a Freaks and Geeks romance & personal experiences.
May 2014 · 276
Too Deep.
I tend to notice patterns in human behavior
Why must I read people like ******* novels
Each page turned magnifies their intentions
But what are their truest intentions?
Combine the anxious doubt with potential
and I've got myself a recipe for destruction
I like it better when I'm all alone
I think with honesty, their thoughts are unknown.
Weighed down with questions of self worth
I'm better off thinking only of my own intentions
But if that's the case I should be more cautious
Taking a sly chance can be detrimental
when your romance is self-sacrificial
and all your friends seem temporary
*The quest for permanence becomes scary
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