this morning i woke up, stripped naked out of the womb
cold wind hitting my body, making me shiver
feeling so small
curled up like a ball.

this morning i laid in bed for hours upon hours
thinking of life
the mistakes i made
the ones i wish i could fix and the ones i wish i never made.
feeling so ashamed
stuffing my face in the pillow.

this morning i watched the sun come up
and on my skin i felt its warmth protect me from the dark days
feeling its arms around me
there is a smile on my face.

this morning i woke up alone
no one to cuddle with
tears on my face that they’re gone
never to return
feeling invisible
i don’t get out of bed.

this morning i turned old
gray hair grey eyes
feeling that I'm overdue on earth
i sleep forever.

You tell me lies to find out who I am,
but what does that make you?
The lies you tell me,
put me on a whirlwind of hate and distrust,
and I don't know when the ride will *end.

Today's my birthday
and I cried for the first hour of it.

I feel happy but sad,
just a few months ago
I didn't even want to live

Now I'm in my 20s,
officially a grown-up.

No more teen to fall back on,
I'm gonna miss it.

For the first time in months, I can finally be myself,
I can finally open my eyes and heart to tell you everything I've been holding in,
been struggling to find my heart again,
to tell you my days have
even become hard to breathe in.

Instead of hitting myself and
letting my eyes cry me to sleep,
I started being me and I missed me.
The sad lonely me
but somewhat content with life me.
The no longer angry at the world me,
the no longer I will scratch your eyes out if you even think of asking me a question.

I'm glad I found me again, she's hungry.

Those who say they will never leave you,
are always the first to go.