swallowing
the fear at
the back of my throat
I
take a step
forward

barefoot
on grass
palms raised
up high
closed eyes

breathe

(because the world isn't as terrible as you think it is.)

your expression is
blank
as you stare at him
crying
and crying
and crying

it's a pitiful sight
but you can't tear your eyes
away from him
repeating that same
mantra over and over
again

you can't understand
what's happening around you
everything's in a daze
but you do know that
he's crying
over her

you laugh as you
see him kiss that girl
on the bed

"That's disgusting—
it's like you're kissing a dead body."

(that girl
mirrored your entire face
except her eyes
were closed)

time has passed
and he looks sharper
all formally dressed

the look on his face
however
does not
suit him

he repeats that mantra
he kept on saying
to that girl

you smile sadly

"I won't give up—I believe you'll live."

his hands
were cold
for such a warm
person

("Let go, love. It's been four years.")

that continuous boisterous beeping
from the machine
stopped and
stood still

his face
broke you

and you had thought that
that girl who he loved
sure was lucky

(and then you faded into the dark abyss)

summer cicadas.
laughter from children.
crows and their tragic melodies.
sick feelings of deja vu.
a scream
or two.
a corpse found.

S i l e n c e .

summer cicadas.
laughter from children.
when will this loop just
.stop.

huddled in a blank corner
with my knees
as my best friend
i drown
and d
           r
                    o
                            w
           ­                             n
a                                 ­                d
                         n        
                                           r      
d                                                        o
     ­           w


                                n

our first meeting was

a summer drizzle
a cool breeze
a huge forest,

and you
sitting on
that tree,
laughing.

and there i was
staring above,
seemingly intimidated
by the dark clouds
that hovered
around

my mother,
with her
sad eyes
and
her sad smile,
uttered,

"Even dark clouds have their own silver linings, dear."

(i just
l a u g h e d

and

l   a    u     g      h       e        d)