“Why do you fear the stars?” He asked, his hands in my hair.
“Because as they fall
They burn their brightest,” I said.

‘And what if you’re not there to catch me?’ I thought as his lips met mine.

each step closer cracked the earth
dry, dusty breaths burned my lips
hot air seared my lungs

i can’t make it
i won’t

his eyes a deep, refreshing pool
cool breezes flowing out of reach
his smile beckoned like a rainbow

i can’t make it
i won’t

the sky is fire raining sparks
only he can quench my thirst
smoke pours from my mouth as i call to him

i can’t make it
i won’t

rain falls from his lips
my name a clap of thunder
his love a dark cloud

i can’t make it
i won’t

the cracked soil fills with water
mud rushed to my knees
skin sizzles in the flood

i can’t make it
i won’t

his eyes darken to mud
his arms raise the winds
his smile falters to lightening
water up to my neck
i lose sight of my oasis
i drown dying of thirst

i can’t

Your lips met mine
a sweet second
my lips found yours
a tender touch

A first
for a last
an only
for a lifetime

Sitting in
torture
under your thumb
calling your name
killing my soul.

the sun glints off his wet, dark hair,
the breeze pulls at his sun-bleached, torn shirt,
the kelp brushes his cold, bare toes,
the salt sticks in his still lashes,
the waves reach for his lifeless body,

I watch from behind my rock,
my alcove,
my arch,

waves push my body against barnacled surface,

his first mistake was being alone,
his second was listening to my song,
his last was our kiss,

holding him against my lips,
underneath the white foam,
I took his last breath,
I'll never love again.

I wonder if you listen to the same bands...

hold on,
I've written this before.

I just want to know what kind of man you became.

It's not fair
that you get to go on
enjoying the sun
when you took mine
right from my sky

It's not fair
that you get to go on
smile on your face
when you took mine
right from my mouth

It's not fair
that you get to go on
on the receiving end of love
when you took mine
right from my heart

It's not fair
that you can break a girl

break her smile

break her heart

and go on like you did nothing wrong

boy
be careful

her wounds are fresh
her wounds are deep

your words aren't salt
your words soothe her bleeding heart

words become poison to open sores
eating away any healing flesh

your words remind her of happy times
with you
boy

she's listening to your song

boy
be careful

It's tragic, this love.

How I clutch to your lips
like the ledge over a raging river,
fingers slipping,
slipping.

How my eyes plead to you,
to pull me to safety,
into you arms,
into your eyes.

I plead for your words,
like a drought needs the rain,
my life needs your breath,
your heartbeat.

It's tragic, this love.

I don't want to cry
but I can feel the tears.
The words pierced my heart
as they fell from your mouth.

Anger spewed from my soul
as you sprouted an apology.
Those words were too late
they shouldn't have been needed.

But you chose to break me
the cracks are visible to the world.
I try on a smile, it's too fake
I try out a laugh, it's too weak.

I missed you before the words
but this fault has made me loathe.
You can't take them back
and I can't forget them.

The morning sun teases my eyelids
'no, not yet'
1:11 AM, come and gone.
5:30 AM, my new lover

This middle-of-the-night breakdown shook my body
A small earthquake starting in my heart
spreading through my chest
after shock visible on my cheeks

Molten lava flowed from my eyes
burning rivers down my face
turning to rain to fall from my chin
pooling at my feet
before drowning me in a natural disaster

A worldwide phenomenon
a storm named for you

I woke with a start
at 1:11 AM
from a bad dream
that you weren't in
but I found myself
restless in my bed

A glass of water
at 1:11 AM
but my bed felt wrong
so I cried myself to sleep
on my borrowed couch
pillow and cheeks an endless damp

I woke with puffy eyes
at 3:00 AM
a fitful cat nap
beneath a down blanket
no more tears fell
as I drifted off again

I woke to my alarm
at 6:00 AM
but I wasn't done
my eyes weren't dry
so I hit the snooze
and burrowed into the couch

I woke one last time
at 7:00 AM
curled in a ball
on my borrowed couch
but I got up
to start my first day without you

I

looked into his eyes
overlooking the pain in mine
vanity
enveloped all other emotion

touching him
overtook my heart with
overwhelming devastation

i
never
thought he wouldn't change his mind
even after my pleas, my tears he
never budged on his
stance to
erase me from his
life and leave me
yearning.

The sun still sets
and stills rises
without your "good night".

Miles away you sit
watching the same sun
but never thinking of me.

The moon rises
and lights up my room
and the empty pillow beside me.

The moon sets
making way for the sun
even without your "good morning".

You wouldn't spend the day with me
and no one made me a birthday cake.
The latter would not be so devastating
without all the events leading up to it.

You couldn't find it in you to stay
and you choose the wrong words.
If only it had been any other day
and no one made me a birthday cake.

You didn't want to spend the day with me
and I only kept getting older.
You kissed me like you were sorry
but no one made me a birthday cake.

Don't worry
I'll be just fine
sitting here
waiting for your text

Don't worry
I'll be just fine
sitting here
waiting for your excuse

Don't worry
I'll fine
waiting alone
contemplating your words

Don't worry
I'm fine
waiting alone
reading between your lines

I guess I'm not the girl
who you say "I love you" to
or the girl you can't forget about.

I guess I'm not the girl
who you come back to
or the girl you call just because.

I guess I'm not the girl
who you spend forever with
or the girl you hold on to.

I'm just the girl who's life
is so easy to walk in and out of
without a glance back.

The love I had with him
I'll never feel again
It was young
It was naive

When I loved him
I was selfish
He was nonchalant
We were jealous

The love I had with him
was meant for 19 year olds

Western Montana rain fell
as songs played that reminded me of you
even songs I've never heard before
made me remember your touch.

Windshield wipers wiped away the water
but my lashes couldn't stop the tears
as southern Idaho came into view
here is where I used to stay with you.

This interstate never seemed so lonely
as the winds picked up and the storm raged
I should pull over and wait out the flood
but I have to keep going to get this town,

to get past you.

I try to build a wall
but each touch
each kiss
each sigh
brings a fire
that burns down every effort.

I try to separate the feelings
like you seem to
but each day
each week
each month
bring me closer
to every emotion I smother.

I worry you don't care
as much as I do.

I worry that there is someone else
you aren't telling me about.

I build this wall
I try to separate feelings
because I know there is something wrong.

When I first met you
you were just a boy
I'd hoped I could help you grow up

It didn't take me long to realize
that would never happen

I was angry
I was hurt

But when we talked the other night
you were so much more than that boy
you were the man I'd longed for

It didn't take me long to realize
my feelings hadn't changed

I'm falling in love
or maybe I never stopped

It's amazing to me
how many poems I can write
about the way you say my name

I find it quite silly actually
after all you're just a man
and it's just my name

But here I am
pen in hand
Pouring out the emotion I feel

my name never sounded do beautiful
as it spilled form your lips
effortlessly consonants and vowels
strung side by side
six letters painting an invisible picture
six letters composing a silent symphony

your voice echoed off mountains
through canyons and valleys
reverberating off my ears
settling in my heart

i had never heard a sound so beautiful
a song lasting not even one second
burned into my ear drums
leaving a glistening scar

how can i forget a sound so beautiful
my body aches with a need
to be shook with the timbre

say my name

if only in a whisper
if only for me to hear
it could not sound so beautiful
to anyone else

The way you smiled
the sound of your voice
the glint in your yes

when you said my name

sent my heart into a tailspin
stirred the butterflies in my stomach
caused my brain to stutter

**** you.
I fell for it again, your
smile, your laugh.
Again you break my heart
playing cool,
poisoning my heart.
Over and over again.
I had hoped you'd changed,
never mind.
Tonight's another disappointment.

How can
I help it? They're
something I

long to taste.
If only he would
press them to mine time might
stop.

it was the end of the world
over a bottle of wine you kissed me
the bombs fell on the roof

we hopped fences
we dodged debris
hearts racing
running faster

people cried out from burning buildings
we pulled them along with us
the whole time you held onto my hand

we hid under cars
we held each other
hearts racing
running faster

we didn't want to leave this world alone
you looked into my eyes
reflecting the flames around us

did you make it out alive
were you looking for me
hearts racing
running faster

the dream was so vivid
your arms wrapped around me
your breath on my neck
as you slept so soundly

i awoke with shock
expecting you beside me
your eyelids fluttering with sleep
as i turn to face you

the dream was so real
it hurt when my bed was empty
no dream can replace
what we once had

so i close my eyes
once again to hear your voice
as real as what once was
but will never be again

the thoughts he shares
from miles away
implies he cares

when he was here
he shared the same
invoking in him fear

he took every word
cast them down
no more she heard

in the whispered night
sharing secrets
brought new light

he says he's coming back
it worries her
no emotion she may lack

for when he speaks
not knowing he lies
to the lonely girl he seeks

she carries each word
though she knows she shouldn't
most go unheard

he should be warned
each letter mouthed
she is warmed

it appears he cares
when he continues
with thoughts he shares

we talk in black and white
the screaming in my head is red
inside my heart it's grey

words fall in silence
their meanings roaring
but understanding is deaf

impossibly blue eyes
look into unappealing brown ones
blinded by yellow sun

we talk in black and white

While we're young,
teach me how to live
with you by my side.

When you kiss me,
teach me how to breathe.
While you hold me,
teach me how to love.

When I cry,
I'll teach you how to care.
When I fall,
I'll teach you how to catch me.

As we grow old,
we'll teach each other
simply to be ourselves.

There are some things a heart can't take.
One too many shooting stars
means one too many wasted wishes.
As beautiful as they may fall
there is sadness in their dying.
This is something a heart can't take.

There are some things a heart can't take.
One more dead bouquet  of flowers
means one more to pick up off the floor.
As fragrant as the petals once were
there are only brown leaves left behind.
This is something a heart can't take.

There are some things a heart can't take.
One more love walking away
means one more first lonely night.
As bright as the flame may have burned
there are scars left under the ashes.
This is something a heart can't take.

I wanted to hug you
but it would have be unprofessional.
Four years,
we have worked together,
and I was finally able to talk to you.

You started to joke with me
but it didn't feel unprofessional.
You said,
'I almost didn't recognize you!'
and we walked along the canyon rim.

Every time out paths cross
my thoughts become unprofessional.
Your blue eyes,
make me dizzy and I get tongue-tied,
maybe that's why I couldn't speak.

I packed you a lunch since you forgot yours
and it didn't seem at all unprofessional.
You said,
'You've made me week!'
and the baked goods were all you could talk about.

I offered to make you a cheesecake for your birthday
and I hope our relationship gets unprofessional.
You said,
'We can trade beer and baked goods!'
and I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

Now I have to wait until April
and I'll try to be professional.
Believe me,
I still want to hug you
and I hope you call me for that cheesecake.

Get over yourself.
Remember how I used to make you laugh
or how
we talked until 2 am.

Under appreciated,
partially insane.

(Believe me, I never wanted to fall in love,
especially with you.

After all,

meeting you was,
always will be,
nothing to forget.)

The cars we drove in high school
the boys we let ride in them
"reckless"
they would call us

The cars we drive today
the men we ride alongside
"cautious"
they will call us

When did we lose the spirit?
How did we grow up so fast?

I wish my old car still ran
I wish I knew where he was
"abject"
we call ourselves

I keep it in my pocket
in case you lean in for a kiss.

You'll smell it
before you taste it
but you'll never forget it.

Maybe you'll crave it,
maybe you won't like it.

Either way it's on my lips.

We were both so good at talking
and avoiding all the topics
that had to do with compassion
You spoke of pop culture
I spoke of the outdoors
We never spoke of emotion

I think that's why I fell for you

We were both so deeply jaded
and bitter about the past
that we pretended it didn't exist
You spoke of high school hockey
I spoke of pre-teen gymnastics
We never spoke of fondness

I think that's why I fell for you

She puts her make up on in the bar bathroom
turning pink lips red
that when opened will stun the crowd

She puts her hair up when she's not onstage
letting the sweat dry
that will pour when she's in front of the lights

She sips her beer leaning against the wall
coating her throat
that will emit the sounds to accompany the beats

She may become someone else when she sings
but she never changes
for out of the spotlight she is the same she's always been

Your confidence overwhelms me
when you look at me
your eyes don't falter.

When your ego shows off
yes, I am impressed
and appalled in the same moment.

How can someone
with so much chivalry
be so weak?

I've noticed your lack of will
how your laziness drags you around
only leading you deeper into yourself.

Where your ego compliments itself
where your false bravery grows
and your confidence never falters.

It's all in your head
and I can see right through it
you can't hide anymore.

I'm running out of ways
to tell you
you've broken my heart
you break it more everyday.

You'll never run out of ways
to hurt me
when your eyes meet mine
when you smile in my direction.

I'm running out of ways
to miss you
the pictures wreak the same havoc
the memories are just as potent.

You'll never run out of ways
to use me
with the words you choose
with the lies you spew.

I'm running out of ways
to forget you
just when I think I've moved on
just when I lose your name.

You'll never run out of ways
to haunt me
with the memories we share
with the time we spent together.

We're running out of ways
to fall in love
with each day we don't talk
with every moment spent apart.

If it wasn't me
then what was the reason
you stayed?

I spent so long
believing I was the reason
you stayed.

What else could it possibly be
that made you want to stay
when there's nothing else for
either of us but each other.

It's a lonely town
for people like us
when you stop coming around.

Don't complain to me
about how awful this place is
when you brought it upon yourself
you knew what this place was like.

If it wasn't me
then what was the reason
you stayed?

Does he think about the girl he hasn't met yet?

Does he wish she was there when he's upset,
when he's happy,
when he's lonely?

Does he think about what her hair  feels like?

Does he wish he could look into her eyes
tell her his hopes,
his dreams?

Does he think about what her laugh sounds like?

Does he want to see her smile
when he's had a bad day,
when he brings home flowers?

Does he wonder if she is thinking about him?

Does he picture me
the way I picture him
as the man I haven't met yet.

Like falling down stairs
you know before it happens
that misstep
the drop in your gut

Like falling down stairs
you know the pain before it's felt
that initial shock
the suppressed cry of pain

Like falling down stairs
hoping no one was witness
the embarrassment
the fear of getting back up

We stood at the top
when you pushed me down
the falling
hurt more than the landing

You must not miss me.
I had hoped you would.
I miss you terribly
but I'd never admit it.

Some say I'm better off
but they didn't know us.
Thinking of you, I can't stop
but I'd never admit it.

I wish you'd call me up.
Convince me I was wrong.
Believing in you, I give up
but I'd never admit it.

If you knew how often I cry
would you change your mind?
I die a little more inside
but I'd never admit it.

These past few days
I've been remembering our first ones.
You were different in so many ways.

What was once a lingering gaze
fades with each setting sun
these past few days.

You led me through your maze.
I really thought you could be "the one".
You were different in so many ways.

I've been struggling through a haze,
a mess of emotions come undone
these past few days.

Stuck in a constant daze
from utter happiness to none.
You were different in so many ways.

This hurt, you it did not faze.
Again, I am the loser, you have won.
These past few days
you were different in so many ways.

To the man from Colorado
who broke my heart,
you might think I am mad
but I'm just torn apart.

Someone like you shouldn't say
all that you did
to someone like me.

The words you would say
when doors were closed,
the smiles that were shared
all lies I suppose.

Someone like me shouldn't fall
as hard as I have
for someone like you.

To the man form Colorado,
who I can't forget,
you might think I am sad
but it's just regret.

Some people like us shouldn't meet
the way that we did
or the ways we didn't.

Some people like us are meant to fall,
just simply fall apart.