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Dec 2012 · 396
You, oh, you
Cassie Mae Dec 2012
I don't think about him
the way I think about you.

I don't wonder where he is
            who he is with
            what he is dreaming
            how he is feeling.

But you, oh, you.

You cloud my judgement
when I know you are bad,
so bad,
for this taped together heart.

He would never toss my love about
                            bring tears to my eyes
                            leave me alone at night.

But you, oh, you.

With your tantalizing eyes
                  dazzling smile
                  ignorance toward me.
(c) Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Dec 2012 · 541
First Snow
Cassie Mae Dec 2012
A stillness, heaviness
blankets branches.

One colorless world
filled with warmth
by blankets of powder.

White sky, white earth
silencing songbirds.

Silence, stillness.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Dec 2012 · 303
Stopping Me
Cassie Mae Dec 2012
You make me
a better person
a better friend
a better lover

But something holds me back
my past
my present
my future

I know with you I would
be safe
be warm
be loved

But there is something that is
stopping me
(c) Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Dec 2012 · 1.1k
revenge is coming
Cassie Mae Dec 2012
i used to love his laugh
dream about his eyes
long for his kiss

now i despise his smile
dream about his demise
revenge on my lips
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Dec 2012 · 1.4k
Vexation
Cassie Mae Dec 2012
Do Not!
stare at me from across the room

Hide!
your arrant looks, at least try

Look Away!
there is nothing here for you

Boy, don't you know?
You had your chance.

You!
think you get a second chance

No!
find some other girl to play your games

Get out!
leave my heart to mend

Boy, don't you know?
You had your chance.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Nov 2012 · 442
Coffee Cups
Cassie Mae Nov 2012
Enough coffee cups for two
yet there is only one
there is only a girl

A bottle of wine meant for two
yet there is only one
glass on it's side

Enough tears for an ocean
yet there is only one
girl alone in her room
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Nov 2012 · 363
End of the World
Cassie Mae Nov 2012
My heart beats fast in my chest
as friends this is a big step
as a friend in love with a friend
this could be the end of the world.

My knees get weak at the thought
of you sleeping with just a wall between us.

My stomach clenches at the thought
of seeing you every morning as I sip my coffee.

I'm saving up jokes to tell at night
so I can fall asleep to your laugh.

I'm saving up compliments for the day
so I can go to work with your smile.

My heart beats fast in my chest
this could ruin our friendship
as a friend in love with a friend
this may as well be the end of the world.
(c) Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Nov 2012 · 1.6k
Never Crossed My Mind
Cassie Mae Nov 2012
When we first met
the fact that I would fall for you
never crossed my heart

When we first became friends
the fact the you would break my heart
never crossed my mind

When we first fought
the fact that you would walk away
never crossed my heart

When we first didn't talk
the fact that it would end like that
never crossed my mind
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Nov 2012 · 1.0k
My Party Dress
Cassie Mae Nov 2012
In my party dress
my hair twirled
my eyelashes curled

You leaned in and whispered
"I shouldn't be looking at you like this."

In my party dress
teal colored heels
my mind reels

As those whispered words fade
into nothing but meaningless sounds.

In my party dress
holding back tears
hiding all fears

With your arm around her
after I gave you everything I had.

In my party dress
a lonely girl
in a small world

Those nights spent with you
become useless as you walk away.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Nov 2012 · 645
2003
Cassie Mae Nov 2012
Where did these memories come from?
I haven't seen you in years
yet here you invading
every thought
every dream.

Your eyes are just as grey
your smile just as intoxicating
as when I was fifteen
just as naive
just as in love.

Ten years ago you were my greatest muse.
Today I found out you still are.
The way you made me feel
that night in the rain
is still with me today.

If I could look into your eyes today
would you still see a little girl?
Would you accept the woman I've become?
This morning I'll play our song
and 'remember when'.

Remember when
you'd say my name
you'd offer me your jacket.
If we ran into one another today
would you remember when?

Remember when
you left me for her
you wanted to just be my friend?
But if I saw you today
I know I'd still want more.

When I was fifteen
I loved the grey-eyed boy
who loved my best friend
but smiled a smile
meant just for me.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Oct 2012 · 672
The Love We Had
Cassie Mae Oct 2012
We both lost who we were
when we lost each other
an identity crisis of sorts
you grew a beard
I grew out my hair

When you turned away
we turned on each other
a 'look at me now' game
you went into a depression
I went on a rebound

Now neither of us smile
we took each other's with us
now no one else compares
to the love we had
or the hate we have left
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Sep 2012 · 1.1k
Wishes
Cassie Mae Sep 2012
So many  opportunities for wishes,
11:11
shooting stars
birthday candles,

but here I sit
with you miles away,

so many wasted wishes,
throwing coins into fountains
breaking wishbones,
blowing dandelion seeds.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Sep 2012 · 761
Forgive You (I Can't)
Cassie Mae Sep 2012
I can't forgive you
for getting in the car,
no, for getting behind the wheel
of that car.

I won't forgive you
for drinking the whiskey,
no, for drinking before you drove
the car away.

I can't forgive you
for taking that corner,
no, for driving way to fast
on that road.

I won't forgive
for taking my friend,
no, for taking our friend
out of our lives.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012

RIP Pesh
Sep 2012 · 1.2k
Peanut M&M's (Think Of You)
Cassie Mae Sep 2012
Every time I eat peanut M&M;'s
I think of you.
That one time we shared a bag
and you ate all the yellow ones.
I didn't know why,
I didn't ask.

Every time I eat peanut M&M;'s
I think of you.
Now you're engaged
and I haven't seen you in years.
I don't know why,
I don't ask.

Every time I eat peanut M&M;'s
I think of you.
Those high school days together
and how we never got any any closer
then a bag of peanut M&M;'s.
I wonder why?
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Sep 2012 · 673
My Shoes
Cassie Mae Sep 2012
He said he liked my shoes
sitting across from me
after he said we haven't talked in a while.

I want to tell him everything
as I laugh at his ridiculous beard
then I tell him it's the middle of summer.

When we make plans for tomorrow
my heart and my lips smile
then he looks sad, he forgot he has to work tomorrow.

Some other time I say
happy I got to share this moment with him
because we haven't talked in a while.

I don't realize how longs he stays
until he says he better be going
I smile and tell him I'll talk to him tomorrow.

He tells me he'll call
after he reminds me he has to go home soon
I know I may never see him again.

I hope we still talk
maybe we'll even visit one another
for now I'll just look at my shoes.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Aug 2012 · 691
Monday Afternoon
Cassie Mae Aug 2012
I
though I
saw you board
the plane but it
was just my imagination. I
close my eyes and pretend it
was you and you turn around to
say that you're sorry, that you still love
me but it's not you, you're not her. I
open my eyes to the years and memories fall.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Aug 2012 · 365
Have You?
Cassie Mae Aug 2012
Have you ever thought about
your lips against mine,
your hands in my hair?

Have you imagined my hands
on your back
holding you close to me?

Have you ever thought about
spending the night,
waking up next to me?

Have you imagined the day
spent in the sun
just you and me?

Have you ever thought about it?
Have you imagined it?
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Aug 2012 · 564
Not That Kind Of Girl
Cassie Mae Aug 2012
She isn't smart
she isn't very pretty
but you wanted her body.
The cut of her shirt
the length of her shorts
made you over look me.
If that's what you're looking for
then I'm glad you passed by
I'm not that kind of girl.

I thought you were smart
and, oh, so handsome
but you acted immature.
How your eyes undressed her
the comments that you made
proved you, to me, undesirable.
I thought we could have something
thought you wanted more than physical
apparently you're not that kind of guy.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jul 2012 · 3.0k
hurtful (happy for you)
Cassie Mae Jul 2012
I can't say that I'm happy for you
because you were so awful to me
all your hurtful words ran me through

what did you expect me to do
simply let my broken heart be
I can't say that I'm happy for you

the ringer that you put me through
all the tears that you wouldn't see
all your hurtful words ran me through

my skies were clouded, never blue
I told you I wasn't anymore happy
I can't say that I'm happy for you

I don't wish hurt for you
just a taste of what you did to me
all your hurtful words ran me through

and, no, I can't say either that I loved you
but you brought out the worst in me
I can't say that I'm happy for you
all your hurtful words ran me through
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jul 2012 · 350
That Night
Cassie Mae Jul 2012
I think about that night often
remembering how it felt to be in your arms
and how it felt when you didn't stay the night.
The rush of emotion, hot and cold,
sweating and shivering.

I think about how you just left
forever changed by the passion we shared
but neither of us different for the better.
We loved one another more
but were left harder by the new feelings.

I think about that night often
remembering how it felt when you wanted me back
and how it felt to say I couldn't go through it again.
The rush of emotion, hot and cold,
knowing I should've said yes.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jul 2012 · 415
Bear The Weight
Cassie Mae Jul 2012
When things are right in your world,
you let yourself into mine.
When the time is convenient for you,
you give some of yours to me.

Maybe you don't want to burden me
with problems you deem to be large,
but instead of pushing me away, pull me in
and let me help bear the weight.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jul 2012 · 399
You Had To *revised*
Cassie Mae Jul 2012
You had to know how I felt,
everyone else knew.
Still you left you me crawling around,
blindly fumbling in dark rooms.

You had to hear me call out your name,
everyone else heard.
But still my voice became raw,
as my screams echoed across canyons.

You had to feel some of what I was,
I felt it when you laughed.
But the laughter paused for too long,
left a ringing in my ears.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jul 2012 · 333
Girls Like Her
Cassie Mae Jul 2012
It's girls like her I envy.
The in place hair,
the flawless skin.
The tiny waist,
the long legs.
The easy laugh,
the wealthy family.

But there's one thing I envy most:
she gets you.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jul 2012 · 451
I Didn't Know
Cassie Mae Jul 2012
I saw your smile from across the patio,
it lit up the night.
I heard your laugh as I talked with friends,
it rang in my ears.
I glanced your way and my heart stopped,
blood ceased to flow.

I didn't know you'd be here.

I long to touch your lips,
I long to hear your voice saying my name.
I long to feel your heart beat in time with mine.

I saw your smile from across the patio,
I saw you smile for her.
I heard your laugh as I talked with friends,
I heard you laugh for her.
I glanced your way and my heart stopped,
I heard your heart stop for her.

I didn't know you'd be here.
I didn't know you'd be here.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jul 2012 · 539
Fragile Heart
Cassie Mae Jul 2012
This heart is fragile,
bearing a sign 'Handle With Care',
but it has been thrown around,
hammered with wear and tear.

Just when it's patched,
and packaged for shipment,
the box gets dropped,
and the result is torment.

The last delivery scheduled,
not all that too long ago,
the recipient assumed to be a man,
with hopes of becoming beau.

He left the box unopened,
left the package out in the rain,
nothing but a selfish boy,
who created all this pain.

What has he done to this girl,
'Handle With Care' is no longer readable,
she longed for just one kiss,
but thoughts of love are now inconceivable.

His laugh promised happiness,
but the pieces no longer fit together,
her heart stranded out in the storm,
unable to sustain the weather.

With every call he rejects,
she applies more stitching,
hoping one day, one night,
he will realize all that he is missing.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jun 2012 · 378
just for you
Cassie Mae Jun 2012
it came on the wind
flow of creativity
words meant just for you
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jun 2012 · 506
Stay
Cassie Mae Jun 2012
I just have to say,
if things don't work out with her,
give me a call one day.

You know I'd find a way,
no matter where I might be at,
to go to you and there I would stay.

A few more words, if I may,
when the weather rolls in
and our skies become cloudy and grey

Under the covers with you I'd lay,
I wouldn't leave for just one storm,
with you forever I would stay.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jun 2012 · 4.7k
Best Friend
Cassie Mae Jun 2012
I miss my best friend
our long talks about everything,
yet nothing.

I miss my best friend
how it felt when you held my hand,
kissed my lips.

I miss my best friend
the way i loved you and how I meant the world,
everything to you.

I miss my best friend
how safe I felt with you hand in mine,
my heart in yours.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jun 2012 · 392
In half again
Cassie Mae Jun 2012
Tonight I found the letters,
the pages you never read.
Tonight I tore out the pages
of words that I never spoke aloud.
Tonight I didn't read those words,
tonight I tore those pages in half
and then in half again.

Two years ago you found my heart,
the heart you never cared for.
Two years ago you tore out my heart
and left it lying on the ground.
Two years ago I gave you that heart,
two years ago you tore that heart in half
and then in half again.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jun 2012 · 663
Just A Friend
Cassie Mae Jun 2012
I am at the wall again,
nose in the corner,
just a friend.

Please tell me when
I'll be no foreigner,
I am at the wall again.

How long has it been?
Will this ever be over?
Just a friend.

'Keep it up, your chin'
says the mourner.
I'm at the wall again.

When will it begin?
I'm done being a loner,
just a friend.

Stop the sin,
find my heart's owner.
I'm at the wall again,
just a friend.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jun 2012 · 364
Time Stands Still
Cassie Mae Jun 2012
When it all piles up
the stack becomes unbearable
I want to light it all on fire
watch the flames lick the edges
watch the memories turn to ashes.

Instead I drench it in tears
snuffing out any spark
plunging myself back into the dark
where the world stop spinning
and time stands still.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Jun 2012 · 671
The Mother
Cassie Mae Jun 2012
Wind I can not feel
but hear atop the pines
brushes ripples across the water
at the sight I begin to cry
I am so tried, so weary
that the bird songs are a funeral march
and less a lullaby.

Cold breeze reaches my cheeks
freezing tears within my eyelids
the sudden pop of a tree startles me
but I do not feel fear
I only ache for a touch
something besides the rising light
something warm to cover me
someone to reassure me.

It is silence louder than nature
calling me to close my eyes
try to sleep through the wild
wind and water move
birds and dreams call
as the squirrels chirp I lie down
I give into the Mother.

As the woodpecker drums so does my heart
the wind has calmed if only a little
clouds hide the sun's warmth from my body.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 355
There
Cassie Mae May 2012
There it is.

That feeling in the pit of my stomach.
An aching,
churning,
burning.

There they are.

Those tears that always follow that feeling.
A crying,
sobbing,
hurting.

There you were.

Telling me everything I didn't to hear.
A friend,
not lover,
not ever.

There I was.

Hearing everything I didn't want you to say.
A word,
a curse,
a bruise.

Here I am.

Trying to hold all the heartache in.
A break,
crack,
shatter.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 432
Our Friendship
Cassie Mae May 2012
Why is it that I
always take one thing
and turn it into something
that it is not?

We have so much in common,
so much to share with one another,
but I took this nothing
and tried to turn it into everything.

So here I am
embarrassed
by all the words I said
that should have remained in my head.

So, here I am,
sorry for ruining one thing
that was actually something,
our friendship.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 725
Slow Down, Settle
Cassie Mae May 2012
My heart won't slow down.
Blood pumps so fast
my face turns red,
hot.

My stomach won't settle.
Butterflies flutter
around in circles,
dizzying.

My heart won't slow down.
I'm feeling nausea
I want it to stop,
ease.

My stomach won't settle.
I feel nervous
I want to be calm,
relaxed.

My heart won't slow down.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 469
Hopes Up
Cassie Mae May 2012
I've gotten my hopes up.

Angry at myself
frustrated with this feeling
I let him get to me.

Heart always on a shelf
I must begin dealing
with what isn't to be.

Maybe I shouldn't give up,
quite yet,
but it still hurts.

It may be just a bump
I shouldn't be upset
I'll still flirt.

But,

I've gotten my hopes up.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 451
Write of love?
Cassie Mae May 2012
What will I write about
if I fall in love?
I only know of lust,
of pining.

It gives me doubt:
what will I write of?!
Heartbreak turned to dust,
lights shining.

This emotional drought,
can I rise above?
Find in you some trust,
my silver lining.

It's a new route,
writing of love.
To try, I must!
No more whining.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 683
Tonight
Cassie Mae May 2012
Tonight
is one of those nights
when I just need to stare at the ceiling.

When I over analyze a word,
a punctuation,
an emoticon,
in an email.

Tonight
is one of those nights.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 782
Lonely Too Long (Suddenly)
Cassie Mae May 2012
Suddenly I miss you
I barely know you
but I want to hear you laugh.

Sitting here alone
the sun fading before me
I want you here beside me.

I feel strange
wanting you around
thinking I need you.

Have I been lonely too long?

Suddenly I miss you
I really just met you
you always make me smile.

Listening to the winds
I know I might rush this
if you miss me, too.

Maybe I should forget
try to take this slow
but I suddenly miss you.

Have I been lonely too long?
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 518
Couldn't Wait (Call You)
Cassie Mae May 2012
I couldn't wait to see you
and when I did
it was all I had to confirm.

The feeling I had to sift through
all those i had hid
buried under a berm.

What should I do
open up a bid
let you make me infirm?

If only you knew
it seems I have slid
into a situation in which I squirm.

It takes all I have not to call you.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 10.8k
Soulmate
Cassie Mae May 2012
Could this man be my soulmate?
He made me laugh,
without trying.
He let me talk
without defying.

Could I find attraction in him?
The way we fell in step
and the way it was so simple.
We may begin to ebb
or we could grow, begin to kindle.

Could he be my soulmate?
Maybe he's the stepping stone
leading me to my match.
For now I won't be alone
waiting for the flame to catch.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 422
First Love
Cassie Mae May 2012
This feeling nags,
tugs at my heart strings,
Composing a sad song.

Dear love,
first love,
where did we go wrong?

I saw myself in white,
I saw you by my side,
the only place you belong.

Now love,
first love,
you are long gone.

I miss your eyes,
how they shined,
they've been gone so long.

Dear love,
first love,
where did we go wrong?

Was it how you forgot to love me?
Was it my betrayal before you left me?
I thought our love was lifelong.

Now love,
first love,
You are long gone.

But love,
first love,
your memory lives on.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
May 2012 · 419
Fifteen
Cassie Mae May 2012
I thought about you today,
fifteen,
sitting on my couch,
my parent's couch,
when they were not home,
when we were alone.

I thought about the little details,
the ones you remembered from that day,
the picture on the wall,
the color of my sister's jacket,
the name of my dog,
how you wanted to hold my hand.

It's been almost ten years
and all I remember is regret,
regret for not kissing you on the boat,
regret for never telling you how I felt,
regret for letting her be your first kiss,
regret for my naivety at fifteen.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Apr 2012 · 395
With Her
Cassie Mae Apr 2012
There you were (with her)
and there I was.
I didn't expect seeing you (with her)
would have this effect on me.

As you introduced your friends
I stood aside and watched them smile.

As you walked past me (with her)
you didn't stop to say hello.
Would it have been awkward (with her)
to acknowledge an old friend?

As the night came to an end
I realized it would never be the same again.

Because seeing you (with her)
brought back all these emotions.
So, tonight when you fall asleep (with her)
think of me falling into bed alone.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Apr 2012 · 428
Oh, those eyes
Cassie Mae Apr 2012
Oh, those eyes,
they taunt, they tease.
Oh, those eyes.

Blue, gray, green.
Oh, those eyes,
change with the light.

Oh, those eyes,
they glance, they glow.
oh, those eyes.

Don't look at me.
Oh, those eyes,
always find me.

Oh, those eyes.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Apr 2012 · 1.3k
A Premonition
Cassie Mae Apr 2012
Call it a premonition,
this seething in my bones,
your presence is a violation.

Once my addiction,
ears ringing like telephones,
call it a premonition.

Now a sudden mutation,
DNA sequence unknown,
your presence is a violation.

Seeking a destination,
wandering through fields overgrown,
call it a premonition.

Looking for peaceful fixation,
never really being alone,
your presence is a violation.

Needing redemption,
going back to you I am prone.
Call it a premonition,
your presence is a violation.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Apr 2012 · 431
Your Apology
Cassie Mae Apr 2012
Your apology has no effect on me.

I still loathe you.

To think,
that once,
I hungered for your approval.

For a while,
your words,
lingered in the scent of the air.

I could,
almost,
taste how forced your defense was.

Your regret hovers above our heads.

You have no remorse.
(c) Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Apr 2012 · 1.6k
Flatter (My Words)
Cassie Mae Apr 2012
Would my words flatter you
or start a tailspin
that ends with you running
in a direction away from my arms?

I hope you would run into them,
my arms.

If my words did flatter you
would you have words
that would turn my cheeks red
as you press your lips against mine?

I imagina they are soft and gentle,
you lips.

If my words didn't flatter you
I would burn them
before you could truly understand
that I want to love you.

I imagine they wouldn't flatter you,
my words.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Apr 2012 · 1.4k
wanting, wanting, wanting
Cassie Mae Apr 2012
these feelings, tiring,
(wanting, wanting, wanting)
these emotions, exhausting,
(lusting, lusting, lusting)
this smile, aching,
(wishing, wishing, wishing)
this desire, burning,
(needing, needing, needing)

When will the want stop?
When will the lust subside?
When will the wish be granted?
When will the need be fulfilled?
(c) Cassie Mae Writings 2012
Apr 2012 · 458
Use This Town
Cassie Mae Apr 2012
Use this town
as a stepping stone,
a way out.
Use this town
as a home base,
a rest stop.
Use this town
as a photo album,
a scrapbook.
Use this town,
get to know it
inside and out

then move on.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
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