People Change.
People Forget.

We move on our own tracks
and make our own opinions.
and make our own decisions.

We take steps on a path
which twists and turns and winds its way
into a map of memories
in which you can look back
to see footprints
you remember
and respect
and regret.

And over time
the footprints will fade.

We can not return but only look back
which is why regret is a dangerous thing
because it is hopeless

You could miss something to the side
if all you do is look back.

It is walking
up a downward escalator.

when i was 10,
my father said,
"i'll walk the aisle when you wed. "
when i was 12,
my father unfurled,
"you're dead to me if you like girls."
when i was 14,
my father cried,
"slit those wrists, say goodbye."
when i was 15,
my father did grieve,
"pick up your bags, i need you to leave."
now at 16,
my father is silent.
my home is too far,
my wrists are still violent.
my family is none,
my bones have grown weary.
life's closing my door;
deaths locking the windows,
im trapped in a shell
of homosexual innuendos.

the dark thing that you are inside:

                
                    i love it


that it is
salt thin
blood wonderful
to press apart

as like to press apart
the darling stocks
of naked flowers


                    And,

it is like
it likes to be
hushed
handled
flush

within hand
to uncurl
the little strange song
of its **** throat

(and i love it
its quiet
and small intensity

burning 'gainst palm
the enormously delicate flicker
of its rough flame)

my dear
(and i love you that)
you are
(inside)
dark

horrible to touch
and painful

to release,

        .

  ,

        .


                ,



        .

Hi, I'm sorry for texting you so late it's just that everything feels like it's falling apart and I can't even recognize myself anymore sometimes it feels like I'm not even the one living my life I'm just watching it like a movie I'm just going through the motions and I don't know who to talk to anymore because I just keep making more problems but I need help I need someone to hold me and tell me it's okay I don't know how to make it through this on my own please just come save me

"I love you" she once said
But now they are just fading memories of you two laughing: in the couch or in the bed

"Forever" was another promise she could never keep
Now you can just sit down,remember and weep

"My love for you will never go away"
Too bad she decided not to stay

I think the point I'm trying to make is that you can write,sing or rhyme
But maybe,just maybe nothing lasts for all the time

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.