Caro - Hello Poetry

Caro Apr 2019

I have w e i r d anxiety
And I don’t quite k n o w where to put it
I feel off
Like watching a black and white movie when you’re a kid with a theme that’s b e y o n d you and knowing that you don’t quite know what it’s about
A lack of an aboutness with yourself
Much about what I do and where I go and who I see
And triumphantly living this l i f e
As I w a n t
But feeling a l i t t l e far from m y s e l f

I’m writing a bookmaybe I should get back to it

#blackandwhite #oldmovies #feelings #moody #aboutme #seld

Caro Apr 2019

Obvious Bliss

Sweetest ceremony of self,

Proud of the moons on my thumbnails...praising their rounded edges,

Soothed by the skin on the arch of the sole of my foot,

Finally, pleasurably, softly coexisting with myself,

A lazy stretch in bed on a Monday morning off,

The way the weekend falls away,

Blowing your nose and breathing deep,

Simple pleasures all encompassed in this body that I feed,

Exactly enough is what I need,

Luxurious and obvious, to exist in this bliss.

Caro Mar 2019

Owls

It's March in California and,
It feels like an early September evening in Virginia,
An owl is cooing,
A nostalgic singsong that reminds me of the woods behind my parents house,
Comfort seekers in my senses inflate,
Disappearing into a heady haze,
Anything to distract myself from the mini self-betrayal I just executed.

I can watch myself as I do it,
Basking in this nostalgia,
The detachment from my pain easing my shoulders,
Making me feel high,
Or maybe it's the serotonin and dopamine,
Coursing around in my body,
Freely,
As it pleases,
Results of.

The owl is howling and my roommate is home,
My phone is silent and I'm blissfully alone,
Detachment, detachment, detachment,
My favorite drug, how I've missed you.

So sickly happy,
So near to trauma,
(my familiar place)
But my perspective saving me from feeling it..

I could be in Virginia in 2008,
My legs a little hairy,
A breeze blowing through my long, long hair,
Innocence teasing me.

Or I could be here, now,
Listening for an owl that has stopped calling.

How delicious. Sweet detachment.

My favorite drug.

#love #selflove #casualsex #feelings #detachment #pain #pleasure #joy

Caro Mar 2019

Storybook Hands

Like a romance novel I read
about an Irishman
and the warm side of the bed
and a homestead
and a big chest to lay my head
and,

Honey seeping from my lips
that you throw back and back
coating your throat
and making you float
and making you spin me
watching you fall in
and,

Down as you go
but never on me
certain intimacies kept privy
for another girl who will love you
like you love me
but,

Every week you're here
and I’m here
and your cardio is improving
but your insecurities are making you
pinch me ever harder and
your drunken red head
gets hotter and hotter
weeks go by
and,

I'm craving your scents and
I’m craving the dent
that you made in my bed
but you’re wanting more and more
and that I can’t give
but,

I still crave your high
and riding your body
with your hands on my thighs
big freckled arms
and that noble nose that knows
how to rub my cheek
and you bite my teeth
you caress my moods
and,

Storybook hands that
hold my gaze
look at me sideways
tell me secrets I shouldn't know
say nothing
but,

Sweat drips from your curly orange mop
slow motion splash the pillow
falling down from the crown
cinematic memory telling me
we should have never stopped
but,

We did

And you did

And now I’m here in my bed
that you’ve never been in.

Caro Feb 2019

FRIDAY 06:33PM PST

Sleepless in Seattle on my mind and in my feelings,
Making me feel moody and 90's,
Chunky belts and colorful, dark sweater,
Old airports in family comedies,
Big clunky landline phones,
When Harry Met Sally and I watched it on a plane for the first time last summer.
Baroque in my headphones and 1950's swing playing from the ceiling

Girls talking loud, so important,
Deciding options for their next photo shoot,
sweet and divine making their plans.

And me
Silently observing, enjoying

If I were an overweight man
probably
I would be creepy

But I am a nice package

They're in L.A. for the weekend.
Oh, they've been to London and "her boyfriend is an *******"
She wore the baby blue, "it was my mother's", and it brings out her eyes
Why is he friend's with Madeline?
She's a *****
But we like her. She's very bold.

Plans laid and heading out. Good for them.

And I'm still here.
Ache in my neck,
Baroque in my ears (because I heard it improves learning and slows heart rate),
This anti-poem coming from my fingertips

Alone in this cafe and now the mood has shifted.

Caro Jan 2019

Vife

Double yous and Vees

Mouth tickling me and mixing vees

Vife and happy to be

Abs and accent and happiness for the rest of this

#love #life #happy

Caro Jan 2019

Magia

Manifesting as a goddess
Island of light or ocean
Or earth
Or universe

I feel star threads attached to my elbows and my rib cage where wings would grow
We dance together

Lightly affecting these precious astral ones with my desires and my light

O humanity, O goddess in me
Part of that star-freckled deep blue black sea

Magia

So light and free and golden to be

Manifesting my life exactly as I want it. It feels good to be this clear. I feel radiant, brighter than the sun and cooler than the breeze.

#manifesting #selflove #magic #being