She cries late
                  every night
     Turns off all the
                           lights
         Sits in bed
bawls
             her eyes out
      in the dark
Cutting out pieces
      of her heart
No one can see
                          the scars
           of her sewing
back up her chest
       Soon she will be
             an empty shell
        Hopefully
                    putting her soul to rest
If her heart
                    is no longer there
It can't get broken,
              right?
If no one can see
                          the tears
Then she never cried,
                     right?

to think that i would end up like this.
"where do you see yourself in the future?"
  -"dead."
wallowing in self hatred,
and the scars left behind by my only saviour.
my life was once so perfect. i had it all.
i was an iridescent, indestructible young girl.
filled with laughter, hopes, and carefree thoughts.
but slowly, my thoughts killed me.
gradually eating away at my brain
making all efforts seem hopeless
tell me, do you know
what its like to be tortured by your own mind?
my once happy world came crashing down.
one last string and that was it.
i was done.

i think in life we find these moments of joy that keep our fantasy of happiness intact, but there comes a time in some people's lives where they are just sick of everything. done.

the serenity of suicide is intoxicating,
drawing me in.
like a moth, willed to light.
the way i once got caught up in the world of ***, drugs,
and sad teens with nothing but happy faces.
as a throwback begins, i am whirled back into
the adrenaline of fake happiness.
if only it was that easy now.
i am now nothing.
an insignificant girl
in an insignificant world.
let me be whisked away, away from it all.
oh the temptation.
who will save us from this labyrinth of suffering?

Who is this "right girl" he speaks of so sweetly?
The girl that he dreams of ever so deeply.
What does she look like, what does she wear?
Do her eyes shine beautifully?
Does she have perfectly woven hair?
What is it about her that catches his eye?
And when without her, he feels he ought to cry?
How should I look, and what should I do,
To make sure that I am this "right girl" for you?

She lives in the dark
For her to hide her painful mark
You won't see her cry
Cause her eyes show no fear.

For her soul can't dissolve in light
The emptiness in her mind
A heart made of concrete ice
In show against the hallowed dark of her.

She questioned of her very existence
How this demon got a hold of her?
A haunting conscience blinded her eyes
She neglected the world in His hands.

She was already fallen
She locked the door of her heart
To keep her safe inside
To restore her innocence and be whole again.

I'm a freak.
A ******.
That's what I'm known as.
Or I could just be different.

Who said your favourite colour had to be pink to be cool?
Who made this rulebook?
So what if I prefer combat boots to stilettos?
What if I want to be different?

I am me.
Just. Me.
And if you don't like it, you can ignore it!
And, newsflash: You don't have to like me. I'm not a facebook status!

Because you know what?
I tried being normal.
But it got boring.
So I went back to being myself.

I'm sitting here,
Alone, People all
Around me, though
I can't communicate.

I've tried once already
But got caught and
Publicly ashamed.
I dont know how
Long it's been, nor
how much longer
I must wait.

One of my friends
Has been taken away.
But we wont
See her again today.
My other two friends
Sit near to me,
Not near enough to talk,
But near enough to see.

I have done my
Duties, Worked
My hardest,
But I'm sitting
Here alone, cause
I was definately
The fastest.

My notes get taken
Away, and yet I
Smile, my last math
Test for a while.