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 May 2016 Caitlin Drew
Andrew
And how could I forget
Your broken wrist which
So delicately wore an emerald
Bracelet, or your shallow
Seas of miseries and vast plains
Of grass? But the beauty of
The flesh is this; that which
Hides within, a rose you once
Held to the sky and watched
It turn to stone.
You don't have to be pretty
On the outside
To draw a crowd

Those that we should pity
On the inside
Pouring ugly out

There are far too many
Who don't have any
Idea what life's about

And if there weren't those with beautiful souls
How would they know
Or figure out
I throw stones
at the ancient brick
just to pass the time

Pretending these
shadows are my friends
dancing along
parking space lines

The air is stale
smelling of gasoline and
cheap perfume
I'm throwing stones
while thinking of you

What will you become?
A question I heard when
I was younger
I wish to change
my response
now that I'm older

I wish to become
human in a world
designed to make me
feel small

Stand tall in  
time and space
and never again
listen to
anyone at
all
you look at me
with love
but then
you ignore me,
as if I mean nothing to you

you expect me
to love you
and no one else
when you can't even tell
me that you want

im tired of feeling
guilty for you
and having to wait

tell me that
you love me
in some
way, shape or form
before I give
up on you
ever loving me
I'm an adult now it seems
maybe different from the rest
the ones I 'grew up' with gone but I won't
forget
I've worked the last seven months
tirelessly
I did it because I had to
my mum kicked me out
I had to pay the bills
buy my meals
remember to wash too
looking back on it though
I have nothing to show for it
I'm alive and well and warm, I guess
so why does my life feel like such a mess
if I look back on previous bank statements
I should be a ******* millionaire???
ok perhaps that's an exaggeration
but you get my point
I work a lot and a fair bit of money comes
but way more seems to leave and I don't
****** know
If that's just me or the way it goes
I don't want to fight this life
always toe to toe
day to day or week to week
at the end of the day most of us
are just
trying to stay on our feet
trying to make ends meet
I'm sat here in my living room on my phone comparing myself to all eight hundred plus friends I don't know and I
can't help but think

*"my future isn't looking good to be honest but I don't usually see past the twenty fifth of every month anyway so ignorance is bliss"
work for a month happy for a week
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