I realized it while I was high
and my mind was wandering around.
It completely blew my mind,
how I always want you in my life.

I am crazy in love with you
because I realized how much you love me
because you accept me the way I am
with my craziness and peculiarities
with my impulses and eccentricities.

I realized how I had never been in love
because nothing felt the way
it now feels with you.
How I yearn your touch
and long your kiss.

Because I find so hard to say
the way I love you.
How I can't write
how you make me feel
(all) the love I feel within.

I realized how much I love you
wishing you would feel the same
finding that you feel the same
deeply in love, quenched by love.

She slid her ******* on
and looked at me with a smile.
"You've done a lot but
there's plenty more for you to do"

She left her boyfriend in a week.

She put her hands on my chest
and looked into my eyes.
"I just want you to
fix me"

Her boyfriend was in Europe for the summer.

She put her phone face down
and never took her eyes off me.
"I told him I was at home
doing homework"

Saw her twice more and then never again.

She had the Devil's grin
as I held her hand in mine.
"Oh it was gift
from a friend".

Turns out he's her soulmate.

She touched herself and spread
the cigarette smell across my sheets.
"I need to have you whenever
I want".

Wonder if that's what she told the others?

She sat across from me
as we shared the same thought.
"We'd still be together
if it wasn't for him".

I owe him more than he knows.

She felt so strongly that
her words are the only I've kept.
"You're the only one I
trust enough to tell".

I lied to her and never saw her again.

So as yet another sits before me,
eyes bright, smile soft
with a sweet song whispering away between us,
I can no longer find any solace
in the comfort of the lie.

There once was a girl
Blonde, with a southern drawl
Told by many
She was the fairest of them all

But all too soon
Her face seemed all but alive
And she said to me
"Things as fair as me, are not allowed to survive"

She became dependant
And lost the light that once sparkled in her eyes
And as fast as the world had spit her out
She let it **** her back in, and died.

I stare at myself in the mirror
Bloodshot eyes
I laugh, a familiar lump
Rising in my throat

Showers
Always the best time and place to cry
Why?
Maybe it's because the water falls to the ground, together with your tears

I step in
The cold water shocks me and I immediately relate
Cold, just like my empty, bare soul

Sometimes in the shower,
You never know if you've stopped crying
As your face is always damp

Slowly the water heats up and
The tears let loose
Ragged breathing, choked by the steam filling the bathroom

Lonely.
Helpless.
Disappointed.
Am I loved? Not anymore I think
But there is some warmth left
Only from the hot water running down my back

I know what you're thinking
'What an emotional kid", right?
But you can't hide the truth
That you were once finding comfort from your shower

this floor feels like a raft
& i am a castaway
in an ocean of empty bottles
"don't worry wilson -
i'll do all the paddling"*
wading through the night
looking for morning's land
the soothing, softness of sand
i still feel you,
like phantom limbs
clinging to my hips
like the tide to the beach
like the smoke to my lungs
beer & cigarettes heavy on my breath
dread weighing heavy on my chest
last night,
my fantasy you fell out of love
with my saintly me.

If you were to die tomorrow,
what would you rate your life
on a scale of 1 to 10?

Have you been a true friend?
Helped the ones close to you in their time of need?
If they killed themselves tomorrow,
would you have seen it coming?

Have you helped the homeless on the streets,
that you pass on a daily basis who'd be thankful
for as little as a smile and a 'Have a good day'
and maybe a buck if you have the time to take it out,
If you really gave a **** about your fellow humans.

If you died tomorrow, could you meet up with Death,
and truly be happy with the life you lived?

Your skin doesn't lie,
Your lips don’t either.
The soft touch of hand,
Upon body,
You give in.
Sweat, spilled wine and swoon,
Your heart skips a beat,
Only to match mine
In sync.
Lights on, lights off.
Beat harder,
Breathe faster,
Using our bodies to see each other.
Stop and go
Holding our breath,
Gripping the sheets
Until it’s over.