Days like this
where I'm spinning
Figure 8s, pirouettes, I'm balancing on one leg
In the corner, I can see
you mocking my flexibility
Spin
Spin
Spin
You're getting closer
or maybe I am
Then I'm falling
Then I'm not
A hand reaches out to grab mine
one I've held a few times
I swear for a second, red flashed
before my eyes

So I lean in and whisper
"Let's pretend it's real"
We clutch the thread, so tightly in our hands
It tangles through our fingers, wraps around our wrists
and you use it to pull me up
or I'm pulling you down
It's one or the other
now I don't know which one of us is falling anymore
It started with me
but your smile says otherwise

I say "I miss you" cause I almost missed you
and you reply with another "I miss you"
and that glimmer in your eyes
just gets brighter
and you smile again
This time I mirror it, a smile for a smile
A laugh for a laugh
A nudge for a nudge
A glance for a glance
I see the way you look at me
I think that's the way I look at you
I feel the thread wrap tighter
I feel us fall faster
I'm pretty sure we're falling together
Slipping on ice
hurts like hell
but we don't seem to mind
since we're laughing again

I said "Push me off
not pull me up"
You say
"Pull me down
Don't push me away"

Then we're slipping on ice all over again

This is what happens when you lose your ******* mind:
You start to ramble and despise
every word you hear and say
every picture you see
and then comes along the one person
who swims right into your sea -
you don't mean to block their way
but you want to make them stay -
so you shut up and sit tight
and wait for the right time
to say or do - god knows what
or who I'm becoming
with you.

This is what happens when you're on some ****** island
Only you can see:
You start seeing what you want
but never hearing what you need
you start feeling things you'd rather not feel
then you scream
suddenly everybody's looking at you
all weird
-cause everybody was your nobody;
your nobody was always somebody-
they can see your crazy
you would hide but you're too lazy

This is what happens when you lose your ******* mind:
Somehow you start making sense.

You ever heard of the red string?
It's an invisible string that binds you to your soulmate.
The red string of fate.
Some tie it to their ankles.
Their thumbs.
Their little finger.
Others don't believe it at all.
Understandable.
I don't either.
I know it isn't real.
But strangely, it is the only myth about soulmates that I want to believe.
I want it to be real.
because of her.

My brain won't accept any more emotional stupidity.
It's literally NOT POSSIBLE.
It's taken in as much as it can.
Wanna know how I know?
I'm not feeling what I'm supposed to be feeling.
I can't.