i lean in to the darkness
inside of me
not to the people
that give it to me.

Litter walks idly on my floors
Food trays leave odours in the hall
I regularly ignore the door bell
When I hear my neighbour call
He rings a thousand times
But I don't care for his talk
'Hello Eddie' sounds his voice
Before I hear his feet start to walk
What did you think would happen
You left me when times were good
I believed we could be together
Naivety ran warm through my blood
My mother was right ofcourse
She said you were a waste of space
When you picked up those heavy cases
I just fell headfirst onto my face
Where do I go from here
Nobody can help ease the pain
Let's face it i'm washed up baggage
And I'm floating along in the rain

scattered scribbles cover my knees
i'm a wreck. god. help me, please.
blank mind with spotty lies
about the state of my eyes...
i cry more than i think
just let go

make the most of foggy breath
air slips from my lungs to its death.
like a bird song from the sky,
my thoughts are peaceful. free to fly.
no noise to keep me company...
i am alone

You are the
         liquid sugar
I rub into
       my skin
soaked
through to my
pores so
deep within
on a cellular
level as I
gulp it down
swish in saliva
in liquid love
          sounds
washed through
my system
in textured
              spin    
you balance
out the thickness
of my insulin
           you
pique
          hot
energies
into blush-fused
                crush
swirling
endorphins
and hormones
in maelstrom rush
my cheeks
on fire,
ripe fruits
drip
          juice
I must
    breathe  
in staccato
to control
         this
  sluice  
But when I
get peak-high
and then
            *****
      so
           low
you harmonize
the taut,
        slick pull
of my
       undertow flow
It's just a matter
of a few
words, syll-a-
bles spoken
velvet-voiced
             cool
smooths
the rough      
of my
     broken
So please
        inject it,
fresh
into the river
of my blood
     Bring it over,
   hot sugar,
before  I
surge
   into
        flood

.
So fresh his face,
Nutmeg and ginger
Like mine.  I made
Apologies for being,
Being late.

He was more than
Kind, so mannered
Like minded, unwild,
Not unpredictable,
Like my ex.

In the cafe, earthy
Smells wafted at me,
Hints of loss, of sad
Things unsaid, wet
Piney black hair.

Black hair and blue
Unfathomable eyes,
Eyes of a lad I miss,
A wildness uncaged,
Once caging me.