Yeah, I’ll say it,
No, I am not scared,
It’s been here all day
Does anyone care?
Yes! I am sober,
I am not seeing pink,
We try to ignore it,
But frankly....it stinks,
Some ignore it,
Yes, I tried,
But something this big cannot be denied
Its bound to get messy,
Where is the broom,
Who let the elephant into the room?
©B L Costello 2018

Before you became a diabetic,
Before the pain and the anesthetic,
We ate,
We smoked,
We slept past noon,
We played until we were out of tune,
We laughed at the cost,
“Go ahead…bill me,
I guess something has to **** me”,
And now…it is,
Imagine that,
But ****,
I miss being stupid and fat
© B L Costello 2016

Please don’t wake the giant,
She really needs to sleep,
She could disturb the elephant of whom no one will speak,
I know we can get thru this,
We must not give up hope,
We cannot get our feet wet,
Please don’t rock the boat,
Because,
Giants are not real
Facts cannot be denied,
If I keep them covered,
My feet will be dry!
If I keep my mouth shut,
They can never tell,
Let’s not talk about it,
Shhhh…
What is that smell?
©B L Costello 2019

Remember how you begged to play?
                      You practiced and worked so hard,
                      Remember how disappointed you were
                      When they laughed you out of the yard?
                      You thought there was something wrong with you,
                      You bravely asked what it was?,
                      As if you were a child,
                      Those cowards said....
It’s “because,”
      Because?
 Just…“because”,
      “That’s all!”
                      Did they think that would make you fall?
                      So cruel,
                      So quick,
                      It took no time,
                      Because,
                      No one ever asked them, “why”?
                      “Because”
                       They don’t even know the function!
                       “Because”,
A subordinating grammatical conjunction!
                        Without a sentence,
                        Without a reason,
                        You were supposed to stop and believe them,
                        Believe what fools can hardly say,
                        But you knew all along,
                        There was nothing the matter with you      
                       "Because",
                        They were completely wrong
                         © B L Costello 2018

He plays with himself,
He thinks he competes,
But he never wins,
And he always cheats
So long in the game,
He doesn’t know why,
He likes to keep score,
But it’s always a tie,
Clean for minute,
They call it detox,
*** in a jar,
And shadowbox,
He thinks he ahead,
You can tell by his grin,
But he’s running a race that nobody wins
©B L Costello 2018

I opened my eyes,
Such sweet surprise
Toast with no egg,
Still breakfast in bed,
Oh what a night!
We met at the bar,
We walked each other home,
…..Neither had a car,
But I never made it,
I lost the fight,
Our goodnight kiss …..
Lasted all night,
Beneath my juice,
I see a note,
Perhaps a phone number
I read with hope….
“I’ve gone to school,
I had a good time,
There’s coffee down stairs,
My mom’s gets home at 9”
BLCostello©2022

I did not bring you into the world,
But I was happy that you came,
I took you home one afternoon,
Took pictures…..and gave you a name,
And you where my baby,
Dayenu……that was enough,
And like all things God gives you,
Someday…You must give up,
How blessed I was to have you,
To love and watch to you grow,
I did not bring you into the world,
But, I was there to watch you go.
© B L Costello 2016

Yesterday,
I Googled your name,
I searched under “image”,
Nothing came….
I dialed your phone,
It made me nervous,
A strange voice said it was “out of service”,
Your room is empty,
So is your chair,
I just can’t find you anywhere,
I looked in the mirror,
What else could I do?
Something familiar,
I look like you,
Sometimes your children are all that is left,
If I stare to long,
I get upset,
It’s only me,
10 years you’re gone,
Oh how I miss you, mom
©B L Costello 2017

I dusted off your picture,
A task I had denied,
But it became embarrassing,
I could no longer hide,
I held it much too long,
My hand caressed the frame,
So long since I had held you,
Nothing is the same,
I stared for much too long,
Such common sense I lack,
Into your eyes I lingered,
Though you cannot look back,
Fighting back the tears,
I returned it to the stand,
Seeking more diversion,
I went to wash my hands,
And now,
I do not touch it,
Its cleanliness,
I’ll trust,
I really need to vacuum,
How I hate to dust
©B L Costello 2016

“Very fine people, on both sides”,
I wonder just who decides?
The ******* the elevator clutching her purse,
Or the man in hoodie who got on first?
“Very fine people”,
How could he know,
She’s been a victim,
It just does not show,
It difficult to see the truth,
Underneath his jogging suit,
Just like him,
She cannot see,
the bible in pocket,
Or his PHD,
How fragile we are,
So easy we shatter,
God teaches us ALL LIVES MATTER!
©B L Costello 2019

Is tomorrow enough?
It has to be,
Today is almost gone you see,
Yet here I linger,
Alone at last,
My memories repeat the past,
The moon does rise,
Still I am inspire,
Embracing my muse,
Thou I am tired,
In the dark
I smoke,
I wait for the day
I will meet tomorrow….
Unafraid
©B L Costello 2016

I loved when you took care of me,
You gave me everything,
Now your gone and all I want is you
BLCostello©2022

She was so attractive,
Back when she was ”right”
She went to work everyday,
She said her prayers at night,
To this common life,
She had come,
so far,
“it takes courage to grow up and become who you are”,
Resided,
Then content,
something had to break,
They said she was an ‘accident”,
But people make mistakes,
And, still she is forgiving,
She is actualized,
It doesn’t even matter,
You don’t look her in the eye,
She who you looked down upon,
Now makes you feel strange,
and all she ever did was ask,
“Have you got some change”?
©B L Costello 2018

Long before she was ever rejected,
She was planned….
At least expected,
Before children laughed,
Before the police….
She was loved,
She kept the peace,
I wonder if they see her now,
They who loved her…..and who taught her how,
To tie her shoe,
To washed her face,
Who left her in that awful place?
Somebody loved her…..
Before she went crazy,
Once…..
We were all….
Somebody’s baby
©B L Costello 2016

I should write about something worldly.
Something important to satisfy the media addicted,
I have seen brilliant poets write about the events and world politics,
I know it is important,
I would love to stand in the shadows of Cohen or Dylan,
Talk about the “Future”, or the times that are “A ‘Changing”,
But my muse is not entertained or interested in Donald Trump,
That shooting last night,
It is tired of walls and boundaries,
It is too busy to be angry,
That careless nymph wants me to tell you how beautiful you are,
How you make me feel,
And what it is like when you touch me.
Rhapsody is real,
I abandon my fears,
How happy you’re love has made me dear,
This may not enrich the critical mind,
I hope you will forgive me in time.
©B L Costello 2017

I chew my butter,
It doesn’t melt,
Trust worthy as Lucy Van Pelt,
He tells me his troubles,
I don’t complain,
I tell him where to leave the change,
It makes me happy to watch him fall,
He runs like a girl,
I move the ball,
I asked him play…I was feeling kind,
That block head does every time,
Sometimes he such a basket case,
I could punch that red head in the face,
But he looks sooo cute on that pitcher’s mound,
Sometimes, he's just so Charlie Brown
©B L Costello 2017

“We don’t want em!”
That’s what he said,
He’d rather grab what’s between her legs,
He has no idea what she is worth,
To him,
She’s just another skirt,
But she is beacon that shines in the night,
You can’t fold her arms or dim her light,
She welcomes all without a sound,
Silent lips and heavy crown,
Colossus over land and sea
She bids them all,
“Come to me”
It’s sad,
He has no idea……
Has he?
I think he’d even call her “Nasty”
©B L Costello 2017

“With silent lips, “Give me your tired, you’re poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
(Emma Lazarus "THE NEW COLOSSUS")

Because…. She, is my mother,
Because…. She, gave me life,
I must make arrangements,
But she was never nice,
When I was young and helpless,
I felt her disgust,
When confidence is challenged,
You have no one to trust,
I wanted to trust her!
Sometimes, I would pretend,
But she could not believe what I said about her “Friend”,
And now, she is helpless……
Now, she cannot walk,
Aphasic since the stroke,
She never liked to talk,
She hated a "mess”,
Especially ones I made,
I learned how to clean,
Because…I was afraid,
She never liked to cook,
The staff helps her to eat,
Every time I visit,
They tell me, “she is sweet”,
I wish they knew her then,
I wish that they were right,
I wish she was my friend,
But she was never nice
©B L Costello 2018

GRANDMA’S TATTOO
“You could cover that tattoo,”

She said….

”show some respect”.
“Do you think if I did….
the world would forget?”

“But your old”,
“And……it’s strange,”
“It looks like a price,”

Grandma smiled and said….

“Well I’ve paid all my life”,

I challenged her vanity,
And…she fought with her pride,
Never again,
Would she ever hide,
I am older now
I no longer wonder……
…..about that tattoo,
Or the cost of those numbers
© B L Costello 2016

You think that I am silly,
Just lyrics and some rhyme,
Your comment is judgmental,
Not constructive,
Not kind.
Still,
I choose to write,
A poet……
I am resigned,
A lover……
Not a fighter,
Someday……
I’ll change your mind
©B L Costello 2016

It was real,
Not fantastic,
I got no flowers,
He was not romantic,
Its better before you know what you want,
So much easier is the response,
But expectations create such work,
Some die and some get hurt,
It must to be real
You cannot pretend,
There is no fairy tale end…….
Just a thin line,
Slave or master?
What is “happily ever after”?
©B L Costello 2018

My muse does tickle,
I cannot deny,
but she does not stop…until I cry,
so I try to be happy,
I want to be free,
but then I miss her,
touching me,
With  a tear in my eye,
I reach for my pen,
begging for her to touch me again

BLCostello©2021

Someday,
I’ll be you,
Older and gray,
Inevitable,
Still…
I am afraid,
Your wisdom,
Your beauty,
Amazing to me,
Challenged with fragility,
So important,
All that you do,
No one could ever fill your shoes,
Who will listen,
Who 'll want to talk?
When my hands shake,
Or I need help to walk?
Who will be my friend?
After you have left,
What becomes of the childless?
©B L Costello 2019

Found in the dark,
You were not alone,
Somebody killed you
In your home
You were only six,
You will never be seven,
But everyone is pretty in heaven
Beauty queen,
You won the crowns,
It did not help when they held you down,
I think of you,
It makes me crazy
23 years,
You’re still a baby,
But, somebody knows what happened to you,
Because...somebody did it
The world may never know….
Because...somebody hid it
RIP JonBenét  August 6, 1990 – December 25, 1996
©B L Costello 2019

The other place,
Down below,
Really is closer than you know
Beware,
Its not so far beneath,
That’s why I never have cold feet
Bare foot…
Smiling…
I thoughtfully tread,
They read the book,
I heard what was said,
My chin is up,
My teeth are clenched,
funny you never notice the stench,
Playing my fiddle,
You reap what you sow
My place is closer than you know
©B L Costello 2018

Against my nature,
And all of my plans,
I reached for you,
You extended your hand,
“Hold on”,
You said,
“I will always be there”
When I lost my grip,
You pulled my hair,
Ignoring my tears,
I begged you…
”let go”,
You only yanked harder,
Telling me…”no”,
I am tired,
My battles never ends,
Are you my bully,
My lover,
Or friend?
Tell me,
I’ll listen,
We can have a good life
Sometimes,  
Let go!
And just say,
I’m alright
BLC©2022

Sure you can “take it”,
I’m not to blame,
You stick that needle in your own vein.
People’s opinions mean nothing to you,
Yeah,
You can “handle it,
But that’s not what you do…..
Instead you blame others
You argue,
You’re “free”,
You only exist thru chemistry,
So now,
You can “take it”,
“Life is so beautiful”,
It is also brief,
I’ll cry at your funeral
©B L Costello 2016

THE MIND OF A CHEF
Can scare you to death,
THE LAY OVER cancelled
Anthony left,
He was always gone,
He worked on vacation,
A COOKS TOUR,
NO RESERVATIONS,
He said that he had no regret,
Thru the sinewy smoke of his cigarette,
and still he left us eating crow,
keeping a secret,
PARTS UNKNOWN,
He's gone again,
his choice,
his fault,
Clearing the table,
I spill the salt,
Unlucky,
******!
I don’t understand
The flavor is gone,
Everything’s bland
©B L Costello 2018

I thought that he would be my last,
My promise,
I was sure,
Now…I may be his last,
If there is no cure,
Every second I want with him,
But I cannot decide,
Every moment away from him,
Tears me apart inside,
My needs do conflict,
There really is no win,
He has the tumor,
But I am sick for him
© B L Costello 2016

Mad at me,
Mad at you,
I keep the peace and forget what you do,
Still,
I am haunted,
I am not a child,
Remember?
I wish I was senile!
No!  
I cannot forget what you did,
But I love you,
So…I forgive,
Tossing this ball like grownups do,
Your game,
Catch 22
©B L Costello 2019

Inevitable,
You can’t just “let it”
No one wants its,
But we all get it
Sure we pretend,
We’re always “surprised”,
But we know that no one gets out alive,
Sooner or later,
That bird comes tappin’
One crack in the glass,
And it just “happens”
The end at last,
“Never more”,
It will happen again,
As its happened before
Next to the window,
My back to the door
I tease that bird,
Because I am bored
Young and foolish,
The sense I lack,
Despite the crack,
Tapping back!
No worries,
It's never broken before…
“Gotta go...somebodys knocking at the door”.
©B L Costello 2018

So far from the jungle,
we learned to enslave,
From the drum to the gun our animal ways,
Take what you need
Live for the food,
Now we are fat,
With nothing to do,
So, we take what we want,
And now…we can lie,
Monkey or man?
Let Darwin decide
© B L Costello 2019

She is only 3ft 4,
I could not adore her more,
That smiling face is always talking,
She is a little miracle walking,
Hide and seek,
She loves to play nurse,
Then...her treatment,
First things first,
So many challenges,
Each day is a test,
and when she is with us,
We are blessed

The road less traveled is sometimes hard,
My wagon throws gravel,
I read the cards,
This life I choose is wild and free,
It’s better when no one is following me,
The currents do change,
The journey does end,
The road does challenge with dips and bends,
But I am a gypsy,
With fortunes to tell,
I KNOW it’s going to turn out well!
©B L Costello 2016

A snob and a guy,
They should have been kin,
A scholar and a pedestrian,
An unlikely pair,
Two of the best!,
Indeed!
It was, "another fine mess!",
"Fine"-"Indeed"!
I don't know why.....
I loved it when the skinny one cried!
Even better...(I'm not so bad)
I love it when the fat guy got mad!
Together was genius,
Alone only half,
I am glad they met and made me laugh
©B L Costello 2019

“Don’t let it hurt”,
(Through tears she begged)
“RELAX”!
“DON’T ****”!
“Cross your legs”,
“It only gets harder”,
“Life is not fair”,
(She pulled the brush through her hair)
“The shoes are tight”,
“JUST SIT”’
“It is do ‘able”
“You begged for that heel”
“IT HURTS TO BE BEAUTIFUL”,
“Is it important”?
“YES…….IT’S A MUST!”
“That’ how people look at us”
“Baby don’t cry….we’re gonna have cake”
“Remember your napkin, today you are eight”!
© B L Costello 2017

Child of god,
Hypnotic to me
She smiles saying the rosary
She sings for god,
But she’ll sing for you,
Innocent,
God knows……
What she has been through,
She is very impulsive,
Maybe disturbed,
Out in all weather,
Preaching his word,
I pass her corner,
But I know it’s a test,
Each time she says….”thank you”,
She tells me I am….. ”blessed”,
And I am so busy,
With nothing to say,
No song,
No smile,
I fail everyday day
©B L Costello 2017

The music was much more,
When you had nothing to say
So, whether I read or not,
I interpreted anyway,
Such a thrill it was,
Amazed I sat in the dark
So many shades of gray!
Then talkies broke our hearts

BLCostello©2021

Reality,
Abandoned him,
No Emmy no reward,
And now he fights the press,
Is he ever bored?
A cyber fool,
In virtual….
He lives…..
He loves…..
He lies……
Does he own twitter?
Or does he just subscribe?
©B L Costello 2017

Afraid of madness,
I keep a diary
Rather than talking to myself,
Taping keys,
I hide behind a monitor,
It seconds as a night light,
“I hope the phone doesn’t ring.”
Liar!
Hope wasted!
I could have turned it off,
I just lack commitment,
I am discussing with the third person (who will remain nameless)
The questions I cannot speak,
“What” was the point?”
“When” did it matter?”
“Where” was he?”
“Why do I still care?”
I am editing,
I am obsessing,
I am listening,
I am hoping that I will hear that voice of reason,
But nobody tells me what to do.
©B L Costello 2017

In public school,
We used to pray
It used to be ST VALENTINES DAY
To some generations,
This may seem odd,
Sometimes I wonder…
Where is God?
©B L Costello 2019

Miles to go,
I do recall,
82 years,
That was all,
It happened in bed,
I hoped he was dreaming,
Dogs howling,
Sirens screaming,
He was alone,
I still feel appalled,
“He died in his sleep, after a fall”.
©B L Costello 2018

Details lost,
No prints mentioned,
But sin is judged by the intention,
So maybe his spirit will repent,
It could have been an accident,
A suicide,
A cry for help,
Maybe it was someone else……
Too long ago,
Too much to tell,
The only witness,
The Chelsea hotel,
A single room,
Not too fancy,
Good enough for Sid and Nancy
©B L Costello 2019

“The times they are a’changin”,
There’s a shift in the powers,
As the smoke rises,
She passes out flowers,
She seems so alone,
I wish there were others!
Watching I wonder where is her mother?
©B L Costello 2016

My poor lost lamb,
Where did you go?
my Angry Young Man,
I did not know,
Words and letters do deceive,
But Sticks and Stones can not hurt me!
Too late, Too soon,
You did not live,
Long enough for me to forgive
I miss you now
Still I Cry,
Someone should have apologized,
Before that Summer Afternoon,
Found too late
You left too soon
(c) B L Costello 2018

I had crossed that path where No One could find me,
I only glanced back,
Then a door closed behind me,
Checking the room,
I turned to the mirror,
Assured I smiled,
No One is here!
Welcome my friend,
Constant and true,
You never told me what to do,
Constant,
always,
I could not be scared,
because I always knew....No One cared,
when I asked questions.....
No One knew,
and No One helped me,
What did you do?
Yes, I’m still smiling,
I am happy,
It’s true
I like No One better than you
©B L Costello 2018

I pray for a change,
I hope it comes soon,
My ukulele is out of tune,
I can’t play,
I am so confused,
He’s suffering,
Where is my muse?
My mind is cluttered,
So is my home,
Without my dog,
I’d be alone,
“I think he is dying”,
Anxiety prods,
My minds begs and questions,
Where is God?

“**** them with kindness”,
I did understand,
Now, their blood is on my hands,
I do as I am told,
Just like you said……
And now their pillows are colored red,
It’s something I’ve always wanted to do,
I would do anything for you……..
And now it’s over!
Look what we’ve done,
I feel better…
That was fun.
©B L Costello 2017

It happened again
She is still “his wife”,
The police took the gun,
She’ll sharpen the knife
Things don’t always turn out like you plan,
You must take matters into your own hands,
Years of abuse,
Fear and deceit,
Eventually…he’ll go to sleep,
So many long years!
God how she’s tried,
He’s starting to snore,
She must decide,
So long she thought,
“Someone will save me”,
Work kept her busy,
Then…the baby,
The police always come,
But they never seem to help,
Tonight she’s gonna take care of herself
Anxious for what her choices can bring,
She hopes she is brave and the phone doesn’t ring
© B L Costello 2017

The darkened room
Sterile and clean,
She stood with the Doctor and stared at the screen,
An ugly black spot,
“What is this?”
The Dr. said….”metastasis”,
He offered her chemo,
“It could give you a year…6 months without it…“I am so sorry dear.”
For ten years,
She did what they said,
Now everything’s changed
The tumor spread,
No surgery,
Because of the size,
They said live with it
And she tried……
She learned to live with it,
She did,
Why?
How is she going to learn to die?
©B L Costello 2019