No sun out makes the cold even colder
No heat keeps this studio freezing
Four of us in a double bed
Pops coming home drunk at 3 am
Throwing water to wake up momma
So my baby brother ****** his self again
Sheets still stink from the night before
Bacon covers the smell of newports
But we know better
Lay hungry hoping he leaves something
Remember being so confused
I love him cause he's my father
But I hate my dad
Wish my mom would've married a better man
Wondering why God won't help us out of here

Time kept ticking
We kept growing
Mom got new jobs
And him
He stayed the same
No friends allowed over
No tv so no cartoons
At thirteen I went from getting smacked to getting his smack
Doing runs while other kids went to school
Knocked twice... wait ....then once more
Lay the twenty in the hand that reaches out
Loke a magician he turns money into dope
Remember thinking about all the food we could have
New shoes with no holes
Many times I thought about selling that bag
But I knew he would **** me over that bag
Sit back down and stare at the empty tv cabinet
He tighten the belt as mom got it ready
I covered my brothers eyes as my dad shot up again
Never asked for him to die but I never wanted  him to be here
Small drop of blood falls to the floor
Taking a little more hope that we would ever get out of here

I'm grown now
I have a job now
Saved up and moved on
Just my brothers and me now
I begged but mom stayed
She addicted to the abuse as much as he is to the drugs
I love her but I got tired of asking what about us
A cheap rundown apartment that's a mansion to us
Two bedrooms
Three separate beds
A couch and a reclining chair
A t.v cabinet sits in the corner
It holds a colored television
Dinner every night
And my brother hasn't ****** the bed yet
Laughter replaced crying
We talk without yelling
Wake up to no violence
Every night I make sure to thank the Lord for helping us get here
It feels good to live life without fear

It was like he rounded third
Needing ninety more steps
But somewhere around fifty five
We blinked our eyes and he disappeared
Never making it back home
Leaving his family without an answer
Assuming the worst but believing their gut
Another player who couldn't handle the big leagues
Another wife left alone to defend for two on her own
Another child left fatherless
Another same ol same ol

One room
One check
One tired mom
One embarrassed kid
One pair of used all white nikes
One dollar short
One week late
One prayer
One dream crushed
One mother dying
One son hating everything

They held on for so long
They carried around the weight
Had so much hate
Became blind
At times not thinking right
Blaming each other
Screaming and yelling
Till one night after a war of words
They looked into each other eyes
Finally seen the pain they been sharing
Both begin to cry falling into each other's arms
Apologizing for wasting time
I love yous were exchanged
That's the night they came to an understanding
To erase that man completely
Take his power they let him have
Never again mention whats his name
What grew from that was a beautiful thing

One mother
One son
One forgotten memory
One new world
One unbreakable bond