my love is captivating
my love has gravity

I love like the ocean
I love with fervor

my love is waves of emotion
my love clashes into consuming chaos

I love the chaos
I love the way I love

the shadow
of a 'perfect life'

emotions check in and out
each leaving their mark

rooms left pristine by joy
will be left muddled by anger

But one room has never been stayed in
left untouched, the room for love is abandoned

I encourage passersby to stay
but alas it is left dusty

maybe the decor is too drab
or the building lacks a certain warmth

either way
the mind hotel is left with a permanent vacancy

I could never love myself through the male gaze,
every part of me dissected into something that is nothing
objectified and dismembered into significantly insignificant categories
criticized, and ostracized from humanly functions
only to be put on display
as a mannequin.

Dear stranger,

when I was crying on a park bench in the rain, why did you offer out an umbrella? Every other stranger had rushed away as if tears were contagious, but you welcomed mine. Why did you go a step further to ask what's wrong? When not even those I know care to ask. We sat there in the rain until my words stopped and the clouds cleared. Why did you reach for my hand when I left? Are you too in need of a listening ear? I have known you for hours yet I feel with you I am safe, you have a stability about you, like a strong shape. Yet a roundness as well, a softness. If I believed in instant love, you would be mine.

With love,
the person crying on the park bench,
Yemaya