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138 · Jul 2020
Violet
Bella-Lee Jul 2020
Such a light name and personality,
With a dark and violent past.
We see what we want to see,
The broken is what comes last.

All we see and express is violence,
Yet happy in our broken world.
We're just like the colour violet,
Mistaken for purple as just another word.
138 · Aug 2021
Permanent
Bella-Lee Aug 2021
Life *****,
At least tattoos are better than cuts...
137 · Nov 2019
3 words that mean the world
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
I love you
I want you
Don't leave me
I'll never leave
Are you here
Are you okay
I am fine
I am done
Promises mean nothing
I hate you
I do too
137 · Sep 2019
>~<
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
>~<
I've been smiling for so long now,
I almost forgot how much it hurts to cry...
137 · Dec 2019
Maturing
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
You see im broken,
In my words unspoken.
My world is crashing and burning,
More imperfections I'm only just learning.
I'm still together in a figure,
Just waiting for my mind to mature.
136 · Nov 2020
Devil
Bella-Lee Nov 2020
The devil gave me wings,
And taught me how to fly.
Cause the angels let me down,
And left me here to die.

There's darkness all around,
I only see one light.
Who knew it was him,
Goodnight. xo
135 · Jun 2020
In This Racist World
Bella-Lee Jun 2020
We live in a racist world,
Where politicians want to see
Just
Black
And White.
We live in a racist world,
Where all people see right now
Is just
Black
And White.
We live in a racist world,
Where corona virus is "Asian virus"
There was
Black plague
Spanish flu
We live in a racist world,
Where everyone wants an answer
To be
Black
Or White
But in this racist world,
Just black or white won't do
Because
You're
Still
Oppressing
Those
Not
Just
Black
Or white.
In this racist world we need to remember,
WE ALL MATTER!
Not just those
Black
Or white!
Don't just fight for one... Fight for all! If black lives matter, then all lives matter too!
134 · Sep 2019
Book
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
I'm open,
Like a book.
Come step in,
Just take a look.
With my heart,
It will unlock.
My minds smart,
Enter with just a knock.
And my thoughts will be seen,
On the pages of the open book.
133 · Aug 2020
Books
Bella-Lee Aug 2020
I remember,
Running my fingers down the rounded frail page edges.
Searing with pain yet,
Somehow red wasn’t found seeped in the book.
The must of it,
Smelled of grandmothers, dust and home.
How do words,
Twisted into fairy tales take you home?
It really is amazing,
The imaginary feeling just as real as real life.

I don’t read,
Much any more than poetry on my screen.
Or if I do,
It’s chapter long textbooks filled with mind numbing facts.
Sometimes,
I crack open my brain and a book.
Just to feel,
As though I am at home and free.
132 · Nov 2019
Nothing stops
Bella-Lee Nov 2019
Nothing stops my heart from wanting you,
Although I can't have you.
Nothing stops my heart more,
Than I love you more.
Nothing stops my heart beat,
As long as your heart beats.
Nothing stops me from loving you,
Because I know you love me too.
132 · Aug 2019
Love Cursed
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
The first one was my galaxy,
Cause his sister's name was Star.
He told me that he loved me,
The way he left is going to scar.
The second caused me pain,
For he left me in the pouring rain.
He told me that he loved me,
But needed to leave me...
Now the though of being Eriks Ariel,
Is never going to let me be.
Cause I set him free,
Knowing I loved him,
more than I could see.
I've feel like I've been hexed
By the wicked witch under the sea
A little I wrote after my first two relationships and trying to allow someone in... Now I'm kinda confused with everything
129 · Oct 2020
Untitled
Bella-Lee Oct 2020
I wish i could look up at the skys,
And just see the stars.
Instead of devils eyes,
Looking back at me.
129 · Jun 2020
You...
Bella-Lee Jun 2020
I never longed so much,
For someone's touch.
Until I met you,
And feel in love with you.

In the darkest times,
You are with me.
No matter what may arise,
You are always with me.
128 · Sep 2020
Safe
Bella-Lee Sep 2020
Let me dig my head into your neck,
To cry on your shoulder.
Let go of my pain,
Sleep safely in your arms.

In a prison called life,
You're my freedom.
Dont let me go,
Or i will certainly be doomed.
127 · Mar 2020
Anxiety
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Talking about anxiety,
Has to be the worst for me.
For some reason it kicks in,
Maybe because I don't want to talk about.

I realise I have anxiety,
In everything I have done and I do.
For some reason it gets worse,
Every now and then.

I can't control my anxiety,
Stressing makes it so much worse.
Some times I wish I didn't have it,
Maybe life would be better.

I have bad anxiety,
My parents deny it.
Sometimes I wish they'd help,
But they just make it worse.
127 · Aug 2019
Poems
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
I dont have the time,
All the time in the world.
But I still manage to stupid rhyme,
With all these words I've hurled,
Towards you.
In a happy state of mind
Or,
Just trying to find
That place that's safe.
127 · Dec 2019
Shame
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
It's not fat shaming,
If you just say working out will help?
It's not distrusting,
If you just say you don't know them enough?
Even if you call them out,
You're the one put to shame.
Mum says "you'll get fat if you eat that"..."you need to exercise more"..."You can't go out with them, I don't know them well enough"..."You need to eat less"..."You need to watch your weight"..."It's not my fault you have no friends"...
Yea so it's all my fault for this stuff, **** I just want one day for you to notice I'm trying and just say, "well done" or "I trust you", instead I'm shamed for trying cause I'm "not trying hard enough"
126 · May 2020
Coloured Words
Bella-Lee May 2020
Words become colours,
Dancing off the page.
Some the rainbow,
Some black, grey or baige.

Each colour a different story,
Blending to an ending.
But if rainbows don't end,
Is there no such thing as happy endings?
126 · Mar 2022
Hopeless
Bella-Lee Mar 2022
He takes my breath away from my lungs,
And fills my life with temporary happiness.
Then he leaves and fades out like all beautiful songs,
I go back to a feeling of hopelessness.
125 · Aug 2020
Songs
Bella-Lee Aug 2020
Their songs play,
Allure me to sweet melodies.
Anticipating words they say,
Obscure obscenities?
Their words of love,
Participating premeditated thoughts.
Rhyming about things we crave,
Writing in knots.

Let me create a sound,
No one's heard before.
Scream it out loud,
I need more...
Than just songs...
124 · Sep 2020
Will it get better...?
Bella-Lee Sep 2020
Life will get better,
Oh they tell me over and over again.
When will life get better?
But my life has only just begun.
You will get better,
But when will all I feel be something but pain.
When will I get better?
I don't feel the same, as happy as I was young.
123 · Aug 2020
Set us free
Bella-Lee Aug 2020
Somethings set us free,
Things we need to be
Ourselves.

But do we really need,
Such drugs and infidelities
To be free.

We're kept trapped by ourselves,
Until it all runs out of us
And sets our bodies free...

Walk into the light,
And there stay
Yourself.
123 · Oct 2020
?
Bella-Lee Oct 2020
?
Our hearts are the same,
How does that work?
Trying not to fall in love,
But what is trying worth?

Absolve me,
And take me away...
122 · Dec 2019
Fireworks
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Explosions of colour and light,
And I look into your eyes.
Those fireworks lit up inside me,
Just like the ones over the seas.
When the clock striked twelve,
You kissed my lips stroking my face.
Arms cradled me, hearing your heartbeat,
I finally knew then that you're my place.
Have a very happy New year/decade to everyone!! May 2020 bring all the joy and love you deserve!! I know I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with this man I have rn, his arms and soul are my home!
122 · Oct 2020
Wanting
Bella-Lee Oct 2020
Trailing down shopping lists,
Flicking through the shelves.
I want to be seen by them,
But I dont want to be an item.
Boys like me, are attracted to me... and as much as I want it... why do I just feel like an item
122 · Jun 2020
Craving
Bella-Lee Jun 2020
I found myself craving,
Attention of those I've never liked
Love from those who seemed to not show
Company when surrounded by people
Sadness and to take it from others lows

I found myself craving,
Not just food like I do when I'm stressed.
But all the reasons that make someone,
like me...
Depressed...
122 · Sep 2019
Stay
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
Stay,
If you will.
Do not go away,
For I will not move; I will stand still.
The demons slowly killing you I will slay,
Stop listening to their thoughts eering,
The thoughts they whisper.
Stop fearing;
That the blade in your heart,
Will keep going deeper.
Do not fade,
For I would Trade;
Anything just for a glisp.
Even if just like the wind you wisp,
Away from me.
My heart will not whither away,
Just stay.
Please... Just stay...
121 · Aug 2020
Driving
Bella-Lee Aug 2020
Driving on the road,
Free and unbounded.
Uprooting the seeds sowed,
Of dependency.
One thing that makes us,
Free.
Or can take all of our,
Freedom.
121 · Sep 2020
Ocean Heartbreak
Bella-Lee Sep 2020
I wish you begged me to stay,
But you let me go.
Just like the ocean,
Does to its waves.

I crashed down,
You only saw the surface.
Drowning in a rip,
Just under the surf.
120 · Sep 2019
Vaccum
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
You ****** up my sadness,
And happiness seemed to go with it.
Now I'm alot less,
Than I was without you.





But now you're gone,
And I still feel lost.
120 · Oct 2020
Bella-Lee Oct 2020
I still wish to hold you the same way,
Hoping maybe one day you'll feel it too.
But do you even care about me?
I wouldn't do anything to hurt you.
120 · Feb 2020
Before 20
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
If I'm lucky,
I die before I'm 20.

I just need a couple things of the checklist:
1. Start drinking,
Check
2. Lose my virginity
Check
3. Drugs
Check
4. Europe - Particularly France
And I forgot the rest living in this trance.

See apart from this...
I want to change the world,
But I don't have to make a difference if I die.
And if I say I want to live,
Then am I not just living a lie?

If I live past 20,
I want to have kids.
A back up plan,
Or so I say.
That if I don't **** myself by then,
I have one last reason to live.
A friend texted me alot of this stuff. Like he has no purpose to life. It shocked me because he is wonderful. I don't see how he's so down but I understand myself and feel like sometimes I'd understand. I try so hard to stop him feeling like this but it just doesn't work. Inspired by my friend I wrote this, I'm not sure how poetic it is tho
119 · Aug 2019
Skys
Bella-Lee Aug 2019
Purple, Pink and Blue,
I'll be up there soon.
Bright, light, the day is new,
Let it heal all your wounds.
Pink, Orange, Blue, Purple,
Out comes the new moon.
Back from it's semicircle,
And the stars welcome me.
I'll be there soon...
118 · Sep 2019
Written
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
I'm sixteen,
Im a teenage poet.
I don't have any words to say,
But the words I wrote.
Cause from out of mouth they fray,
The meaning of words as we know it.
The things written,
Are things that stay.
And the rest?
The things we say,
Will just wither away.
118 · Mar 2020
Dreams from Memories
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Day dreams bring back,
Memories of his presence.

Forgetting him slowly,
Forget still in present-tense.

In dreams I forgot,
His fragile but poisonous kiss.

Haunted memories of him,
I will never miss.

Days pass by me,
Maybe weeks or years.

Now I look with two eyes,
And hear with two ears.

Avoiding the memories,
The evaporating dreams.

That still allure me,
To that same night with no screams.

Sleep paralysis caught me,
In a dream with all fears.

When I'm let go again,
I'm greeted by the ghost of his sneers.
Let my memories go
117 · Sep 2020
Why?
Bella-Lee Sep 2020
Why can't we love,
Whom or who we love?
Without fear of abandonment,
Or resentment.
Why can't my mother trust?
I just want to figure it out myself.
I know what's best,
For me and I just want MY love.
115 · Feb 2020
Updating
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Update...
Loading...
In this feature,
Stressing,
Freedom,
Working,
Death.
Are taken,
Up a level.
Wish to install,
Adulthood?

No...
115 · May 2020
Take Me Away
Bella-Lee May 2020
Rip my heart right out of my chest,
And take my breathe away.
Stutter my words cause I always forgot,
What I meant to say.

Cause I,
Never really want to let go.
And I,
Never really want to try
To make this pain fade.

So take my soul,
Take my soul away.
And save my love,
For another day.
Just take me away,
Take me away from here.
115 · Dec 2019
Why do you love me?
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Why do you love me?
Because you are perfect
How tho? And all the reasons he listed them,
you are beautiful
smart
funny
a lil weird
**** af
I'd never been happier in my life til,
And you are the love of my life
Just as that list made it's conclusion,
I know from now on I will love him for all my life.
115 · Dec 2019
Falling in love
Bella-Lee Dec 2019
Mother always told me,
Don't be quick to love...
But now I'm falling,
Falling in love.
I can't get up now,
But I like falling... in love...
With you <3
114 · Mar 2020
Air
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
Air
Wishing I can breathe,
In a word full of breathable air.
Still however choking,
On the air inside my lungs.
113 · Jun 2020
parent...
Bella-Lee Jun 2020
Absolve my sins,
Let me free.
Don't hold me captive,
For I long to be me.

Though my heart,
May belong to someone else.
There is still a spot,
For yourself.

Please don't torment me,
And force me to hide.
For when I'm out,
All I get is your snide.

Sometimes I feel as though,
Nothing's ever enough for you.
I think you don't love me,
When you say that I don't love you.

Maybe you want it,
To be true...
My heart breaking,
At the sight if you.
112 · Sep 2019
Pawns
Bella-Lee Sep 2019
Am I who you want or am I just another one of ur pawns in this game we call life?
At the start I am not valuable but when I reach the end I am a queen...
After all the moves I make,
All the steps I am going to take,
I will be stronger without a king.
The king taking one step,
slowly tip toing around uprising situations.
While I can destroy you oh glorious king.
And if such rivalries come across,
I will swipe the board clean before the death of my king.
Your knights knocked off of there horses high,
And your bishop's will slowly die.
Both ur castles crumbling down,
your queen her blood so dark she shall shorely drown.
Each pawn making it's way off the game.
Whether your white or black, bad or good, you must pick your side for the one im not on shall always end in disaster...
112 · Sep 2020
come with me
Bella-Lee Sep 2020
I dont wanna have to go,
Be a thousand miles away.
You love me, yes, I know,
I wish that I could stay.
But I've got to move forward,
I have no where left.
If only this was better timed,
One last cherry lipped kiss.
Or come run away with me,
Please come along with me...
I dont want to be alone,
One year is too long
To be without you...
112 · Feb 2020
Wait
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
10 hours and still no text,
But I'll wait for you.
7 days and I still can't see you,
But I'll wait for you.
I'm ready for forever,
But still I'll wait for you.

I will wait for you,
In rain or shine.
I will wait for you,
To say that you're mine.
111 · Feb 2020
...:/
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Hopefully death graces my lips,
That were once full of life.
And taking me with one,
Final fatal breathless kiss.
***** my soul and my will,
Out of my quaking body.
111 · May 2020
Midnight showers
Bella-Lee May 2020
I shower at midnight,
Cause it's quieter that time.
And as the water falls off my shoulders,
My quiet mind beings to rhyme.
No paper to record it,
It's better for the mind.
To let go of something to the water,
A bad memory to never again find.
111 · Mar 2020
>°_°>¿
Bella-Lee Mar 2020
The stars glowed above her,
The luminescent blue and purple lay across her body.
And there she laid.
Her hair swept over her face,
Impending her vision.
It shook the trees that lie rooted deep in the earth.
And the clouds wept over her frail body,
The beat of their tears resembling such as hers.
Deep rooted like the trees her body grasped on to the loose soil,
Intertwining it in vines.
Majestic as the sunrise,
It shone down bearing life to the lifeless body.
Help me make sense of my feelings
111 · Feb 2020
Death, where, it is sweet
Bella-Lee Feb 2020
Life is nothing without the sweet bitter taste of death,
Where,
The light is consumed with an endless darkness that eases the soul to its rest.
And,
Love is now a gracious memory lost to time,
Just,
Like a simple key change in a melody.
For death,
Consumes the life of its consumers,
And,
Causes life to cherish those lost in the pale dirt.
111 · Oct 2020
Elements of lost love
Bella-Lee Oct 2020
The air was howling out your name
It scared me.
Natures going insane
Becareful.
Cause if you're not you might
Fall down.
Fall down to your knees.
Its not just the wolves howling now.

Let me go
Like the wind lets go of the leaves.
Let me flow
Through and in the autumn breeze.
Let me go
I dont need you any more
Cause you didn't need me.

Let me go.

I wish you begged me to stay,
But you let me go.
Just like the ocean,
Does to its waves.
As they crash down on the shores.
Tumbling upside down just like my life.

I crashed down,
But you only saw the surface.
Drowning in a rip curl,
Just under the surf.

Let me go
Like the ocean does to the waves.
Let me flow
Round and round like the water to shores.
Let me go
I dont need you any more
Cause you waved goodbye on our love.

It didn't go out with the bang you thought.
You burnt me
Kept on the heat till the light died out
Passion and hope
Couldn't keep this thing from going now.

Let me go
The flames burnt down to ashes.
Let me cremate
I dont mind, everyone dies.
Let me go
My hearts gone cold
And your fire won't put it back

If all our elements
Together made something dangerous.
How could we keep going
When its inevitable
The end is here
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