Driving on the road,
Free and unbounded.
Uprooting the seeds sowed,
Of dependency.
One thing that makes us,
Free.
Or can take all of our,
Freedom.

Left or right?
A treat of minds delight.
There is nothing left to write,
Words mean nothing.
Unless specifically ordered,
To mean something.
Like,
Since when did stress,
Become this monster forcing me to dress
Like her because she's liked.
Here's the thing,
Sometimes I think, maybe I can do this.
Just one blink, a moment to quickly pass.
I can do... This.
You know?
But not even if one thing is wrong,
Words turn stress into the monster.
Why can't I be like her?
Why can't I ever be like her?...
Perfect.
But this monster does not leave.
No, sometimes I have to convince myself,
That maybe dreams come true.
And just like most of my happy memories,
That this monster will go away too.
But that little girl inside,
Inside of me, is better off dead.
For she already died when I realised,
People only care about the outside.
Yeah, on the inside she's dead,
Cause all good things come to an end.
Right?
But outside, it's so easy to fake,
A smile, fake a laugh.
Oh it's all a lie, but you ask why?...
Because everyday I have to push away,
my anxiety and say goodbye.
But like a good friend it comes back,
And says hi...
And then I'm scared.
That the whispers will come back.
Just sometimes I think,
Maybe if nothing changed when I was nine,
I would be just... fine.
But I'm fine, you know?
Using my smile as make up.
Just so I can show up - happy?
No, I am still a child,
And the whispers that once flaunted me,
Now haunt me with,
Muffled, misunderstood, murmured, meticulous, murderous, memories.
And what's left?
Left of myself after everything,
That I've been through...
Just lead to the conclusion,
That the little girl I was became snuffed out,
Not by darkness but by others light.
And concluded that all people care about,
Is their sight...
But I'm not much to look at,
Right?
I am but, broken hearted,
Promises,
Broken bones, burnt, bunched in bundles,
Buried deep within my complex,
Mind, body, soul...
But sooner or later,
By one or another,
I will be manipulated to be used,
For man's malicious intent again...
And nothing will be left,
But my minds' midnight delights...

My heart grows fonder of you
The more we are together
Even if we're apart

Absolve my sins,
Let me free.
Don't hold me captive,
For I long to be me.

Though my heart,
May belong to someone else.
There is still a spot,
For yourself.

Please don't torment me,
And force me to hide.
For when I'm out,
All I get is your snide.

Sometimes I feel as though,
Nothing's ever enough for you.
I think you don't love me,
When you say that I don't love you.

Maybe you want it,
To be true...
My heart breaking,
At the sight if you.

It's hard to choose someone,
Someone to mean and be everything.
Because sometimes they will be there,
Then the memory of them is slowly fading.

Every second Saturday,
Just like clock work.
That smile you have,
Makes work a little more bearable.
I wish I could talk to you,
And not be so awkward.
I just wish I could,
But all I do is smile.
Just as you would,
And you smiled back...
Again!

You bleed,
Just to know you're alive.
You hurt,
Just to prove you survived.
You'd do anything,
Just to go back to normal life.

Can we kiss forever,
Just you and me?
I don't care,
If we need to breathe.
Every time I'm around you,
I lose my breath.
So why do we need to breathe,
When I have no breath to spare.
Can we kiss forever,
While we still don't need to breathe?

I've been smiling for so long now,
I almost forgot how much it hurts to cry...

We live in a racist world,
Where politicians want to see
Just
Black
And White.
We live in a racist world,
Where all people see right now
Is just
Black
And White.
We live in a racist world,
Where corona virus is "Asian virus"
There was
Black plague
Spanish flu
We live in a racist world,
Where everyone wants an answer
To be
Black
Or White
But in this racist world,
Just black or white won't do
Because
You're
Still
Oppressing
Those
Not
Just
Black
Or white.
In this racist world we need to remember,
WE ALL MATTER!
Not just those
Black
Or white!

I'm open,
Like a book.
Come step in,
Just take a look.
With my heart,
It will unlock.
My minds smart,
Enter with just a knock.
And my thoughts will be seen,
On the pages of the open book.

What is wrong with you?
Why can't you seem to understand this?
How many times do i have to go through, this?
Is there something wrong with you?
I know you aren't stupid, but are you?

What is wrong with you?

'I don't know...
I can't think like this...
What is wrong with me?'

I love you
I want you
Don't leave me
I'll never leave
Are you here
Are you okay
I am fine
I am done
Promises mean nothing
I hate you
I do too

You see im broken,
In my words unspoken.
My world is crashing and burning,
More imperfections I'm only just learning.
I'm still together in a figure,
Just waiting for my mind to mature.

What am I to you?
But a,
horrible daughter.
I can't see through,
My tears right now.

What am I to you?
But a,
Nasty sister.
However all my secrets,
Are spilled by you.

What am I to you?
But a,
Disappointment.
Where am I supposed to go,
If out of this house I am sent?

The first one was my galaxy,
Cause his sister's name was Star.
He told me that he loved me,
The way he left is going to scar.
The second caused me pain,
For he left me in the pouring rain.
He told me that he loved me,
But needed to leave me...
Now the though of being Eriks Ariel,
Is never going to let me be.
Cause I set him free,
Knowing I loved him,
more than I could see.
I've feel like I've been hexed
By the wicked witch under the sea

Talking about anxiety,
Has to be the worst for me.
For some reason it kicks in,
Maybe because I don't want to talk about.

I realise I have anxiety,
In everything I have done and I do.
For some reason it gets worse,
Every now and then.

I can't control my anxiety,
Stressing makes it so much worse.
Some times I wish I didn't have it,
Maybe life would be better.

I have bad anxiety,
My parents deny it.
Sometimes I wish they'd help,
But they just make it worse.

It's not fat shaming,
If you just say working out will help?
It's not distrusting,
If you just say you don't know them enough?
Even if you call them out,
You're the one put to shame.

Rip my heart right out of my chest,
And take my breathe away.
Stutter my words cause I always forgot,
What I meant to say.

Cause I,
Never really want to let go.
And I,
Never really want to try
To make this pain fade.

So take my soul,
Take my soul away.
And save my love,
For another day.
Just take me away,
Take me away from here.

If I'm lucky,
I die before I'm 20.

I just need a couple things of the checklist:
1. Start drinking,
Check
2. Lose my virginity
Check
3. Drugs
Check
4. Europe - Particularly France
And I forgot the rest living in this trance.

See apart from this...
I want to change the world,
But I don't have to make a difference if I die.
And if I say I want to live,
Then am I not just living a lie?

If I live past 20,
I want to have kids.
A back up plan,
Or so I say.
That if I don't **** myself by then,
I have one last reason to live.

I dont have the time,
All the time in the world.
But I still manage to stupid rhyme,
With all these words I've hurled,
Towards you.
In a happy state of mind
Or,
Just trying to find
That place that's safe.

Purple, Pink and Blue,
I'll be up there soon.
Bright, light, the day is new,
Let it heal all your wounds.
Pink, Orange, Blue, Purple,
Out comes the new moon.
Back from it's semicircle,
And the stars welcome me.
I'll be there soon...

There is truth, lies and the in between,
Because somehow there is always some truth in the lies.
Somehow I feel there's lies behind the truth too though,
And yes I know it gives me too, those butterflies.
In between all those lies and truths,
Either way they hurt.
And each pile upon eachother like a Janga game,
Pulling out one by one avoid that feeling of anxiousness, the burning heat.
In between is the truth and lies themselves,
Without one there is never the other.
With one there is always the other like a toxic relationship,
The in between it's always been there and it'll always be here.
And if you read in between the lines,
You'll see it.

You ****** up my sadness,
And happiness seemed to go with it.
Now I'm alot less,
Than I was without you.





But now you're gone,
And I still feel lost.

I dont wanna have to go,
Be a thousand miles away.
You love me, yes, I know,
I wish that I could stay.
But I've got to move forward,
I have no where left.
If only this was better timed,
One last cherry lipped kiss.
Or come run away with me,
Please come along with me...
I dont want to be alone,
One year is too long
To be without you...

Update...
Loading...
In this feature,
Stressing,
Freedom,
Working,
Death.
Are taken,
Up a level.
Wish to install,
Adulthood?

No...

The stars glowed above her,
The luminescent blue and purple lay across her body.
And there she laid.
Her hair swept over her face,
Impending her vision.
It shook the trees that lie rooted deep in the earth.
And the clouds wept over her frail body,
The beat of their tears resembling such as hers.
Deep rooted like the trees her body grasped on to the loose soil,
Intertwining it in vines.
Majestic as the sunrise,
It shone down bearing life to the lifeless body.

I shower at midnight,
Cause it's quieter that time.
And as the water falls off my shoulders,
My quiet mind beings to rhyme.
No paper to record it,
It's better for the mind.
To let go of something to the water,
A bad memory to never again find.